“It’s not the Regenerwhatever. I feel in love with you, you idiot.”
“If it’s not the Regenermax, then you’re being rude for the sake of it—and you know how I feel about that.”
A little thrill of excitement runs through me. His gentle, but stern warning makes me feel more normal, and more cared for than anything could.
“You’re in the army now, brat,” he winks. “Better start getting some discipline.”
“Am I? In the army?”
“Well, technically no, but you know what I mean. Behave yourself, Briarlee. I’ll be dealing with you soon.”
“Dealing with me, huh?”
He smiles and I feel that flutter in my tummy again. I’m sore. I’m contained in what I’m sure is a much more secure room than the one I broke out of the first time I woke up in one of these military bases, but none of that matters right now. I’m safe. I’m with him. What else could I possibly need?
Chapter Fifteen
It turns out, I need quite a lot else.
My recovery is slow. I wasn’t seriously hurt in the crash, but a crash is a crash. The high Regenermax dose I’d been given the month before helped, Daniel says. Maybe it did. I don’t know. I’m just glad to be back with him, to be able to see his face every day.
But there is a big, black cloud attached to this silver lining. And that is the fact that we are both prisoners now. As much as Daniel works to look after me, there is only so much he can do for me, and only so much time he can spend with me. I am not allowed to leave the room. Ever. It contains a bed, a television that only plays old VHS tapes, a treadmill to simulate walking, and fluorescent lighting. The floor is heavy gray linoleum. The walls are white tile. This is not a room to live in. This is a room where things are butchered.
At first, that doesn’t matter. My relief at having him makes up for the Spartan decor. Within a week, I’m on my feet. In another week, I’ve thoroughly explored the boundaries of this room, which is nine feet by ten, and I’m bored. Those tiles seem to be shuffling ever inward, closing in on me. I start to feel claustrophobic, as if I might die here.
“Please, Daniel, just one little walk.”
“You can’t leave the room,” he explains for the umpteenth time. “But I can get you a VR headset on and you can walk on the treadmill. It simulates outside conditions quite well.”
“I don’t want a VR headset. I want to go outside. I need sunlight. “
“Have you been using your Vitamin D lamp?”
“Ugh! That’s Soviet technology. What is this, a gulag?”
His expression is a mixture of sympathy and grim discipline.
“You can’t always get what you want,” he replies. “You had all the freedom you could use out there, and you used it to breach a military facility. So now you’re locked down. Consequences, Briarlee.”
I don’t like the way he’s talking to me. I don’t like the way he has become as much my captor as anyone else. My entire world has shrunk to being him and him alone. Maybe that should be enough. It’s what I was willing to die for.
I synthesize all these complex thoughts into a simple phrase.
“You’re being a dick.”
“Briarlee…” he growls a warning.
“No. I mean it! What happened to you? You fled into the woods to avoid being taken by the military. I got shot in the process! And now all you care about is following their rules and making them happy? I guess the Regenermax can’t stop you from being a pussy.”
The last words make him go absolutely still. I’ve lashed out and I’ve hurt him in a way I never could physically. But he needed to hear it. We shouldn’t be here, in this horrible facility where they do god knows what. He hasn’t told me, but every room in this place seems to be soundproof, and I can only imagine that’s because the building would echo with the screams of the damned if it wasn’t.
“You got hurt when I ran,” he growls. “You would be hurt again if I ran again. They know what and who I love in this world, and they will use it to get my compliance. I won’t risk that. No matter what you think. Your safety is worth more to me than your opinion of me.”
And now I feel like shit. Maybe I should.
“I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is, Briarlee. I’m going to do what keeps you safe. That’s what a man does. I should never have run. I should have surrendered myself in the beginning. You’d have missed me, but it wouldn’t have destroyed you. The shooting and the Regenermax did that.”
“So you think I’m ruined.”
“I think you were hurt by my choices. I think I’m too late to save everything you once were.”