She visibly melted at my touch, taking a deep breath at the contact. “I think I’m still a little drunk…because I want to kiss you.”
“No. That’s me, not the booze.” I wanted to pull her into me to kiss her, but I listened to Hades’s advice to let her make the first move. “And you can kiss me whenever you want. I’m yours.” I wanted those lips more than anything, wanted to actually feel the woman I’d worked so hard to enjoy.
She scooted closer to me, her hand moving to my bare chest so she could feel my heartbeat. She pressed her palm lightly, as if she wanted to feel the transfer of heat from my body to hers. Her forehead moved closer to mine, but she didn’t kiss me. She just held me there, letting our bodies touch.
I wanted more, but I would settle for this. It was a piece of her. I would collect the rest of the pieces in time.
She came closer, her bottom nearly in my lap. Her hand slid across my cheek and into my hair, the way she used to touch me. Her eyes looked downward, and she stared at my chest as she held me. Moments passed, and neither one of us moved.
Our heartbeats slowed, and our breathing became so quiet neither one of us could hear it. The TV was ignored. The flames died in the hearth without another log to feed its hunger. The connection reminded me of what Hades had described with his wife, that there was an invisible connection stronger than anything else in this world. That was how I felt now, like nothing could ever diminish this feeling between us.
She pulled away, her eyes focused on where her palm rested against my chest. “Could I sleep with you?” She didn’t raise her gaze, as if she were afraid to ask the question, to give me the wrong impression of what she wanted. Her fingertips lightly pressed into my chest, her fingers cold in comparison to my naturally scorching skin.
I wanted her in any way I could have her, whether that meant I could touch her or not. “Always.” I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. My half-full glass was abandoned on the table, and I knew the fire would finish dying out on its own. When we used to be together, she liked staring at the fire as she fell asleep, so I let it be.
We left the couch, and Annabella immediately headed to the bed, the side that used to be hers. She pulled the covers back then slipped inside, making herself at home even though it’d been over six months since the last time she’d been there.
I closed the curtains so the sunlight wouldn’t wake her in the morning. I was up at seven, so the sunlight didn’t make a difference to me. I poured her a glass of water and set it on the nightstand beside her.
She was turned on her side, facing my usual position in the bed. She immediately fell into old habits, pulling the sheets to just below her shoulder. Her hand scooped her hair away, pushing it onto the pillow behind her.
I dropped my sweatpants then got into bed beside her. My body hit the soft mattress, and I could immediately feel the difference with her presence. The bed smelled like a woman, not a man, and the sound of her breathing filled the usual silence. The sheets bunched around my waist so my chest could feel the air that came through the vents overhead. I would normally pull her onto me or roll on top of her, but I kept my distance, lying on my back, with my gaze on the ceiling. I wouldn’t even allow myself to look at her, because the sight of her in my bed would make me think of things I shouldn’t.
She was still for minutes as if she was already asleep. Then she shifted toward me, snuggling into my side like it was too cold to sleep alone. Her face pressed into my neck, her nose right up against me, and she even placed her thigh over mine. Once she was comfortable, she released a quiet sigh, like she’d never been so comfortable.
Like this felt right.
I stared at the ceiling longer until I placed my hand on top of hers. Together, they rested on my chest, rising and falling slowly with my quiet breathing. Then she squeezed my fingers slightly, as if she wanted to make sure that I was real, that this moment wasn’t a fictitious thought in her head.
“I’m tired of forcing myself to stay away…to sleep alone, when this is where I want to be.”
“Then don’t.”
“Now that I’m here, I don’t think I could anyway.”
Eight
Annabella
When I was home all day, I didn’t have much to do. I worked on my laptop and kept up with paperwork, but there were other things I simply couldn’t do, like give tours to potential clients who wanted to have their wedding at the hotel. But I sent them pictures and spoke to them on the phone, just as I would if I were sitting in my office all day.