The anger in his eyes died away. “Don’t apologize for that. It’s not your fault, and I don’t blame you. For better or worse, I’m here with you. We’ll get through this together, no matter what. I’m just frustrated that you won’t allow me to do what’s necessary to defeat this problem.”
“How can you sit there and ask my permission to kill someone I loved? Any other sane person would respond the same way.”
“Not if the person they loved the most were at risk.”
I studied his gaze for a few seconds, slowly realizing the implication of his words. “I hope you don’t think I don’t love you because I don’t want you to kill him. I hope you don’t think he means more to me than you do. If I tell you to kill him, you will. That makes me a murderer. Don’t you understand that?”
“I do understand that. But I also understand that every day I don’t do something, I become more vulnerable to an attack I can’t see coming. You’re giving him the upper hand by handicapping me. You’re directly putting me in danger.” He watched me with a dispassionate gaze, speaking with little emotion in his voice. There was a touch of resentment in his tone, obvious frustration, even when he tried to hide it.
“Damien, I would die if anything happened to you. That’s the last thing that I want. I love you…so much.” I moved closer into him and cupped his face. “If I had to choose, I would choose you over him in a heartbeat. But don’t make me kill somebody, anybody, especially a man I spent half a decade with. I just can’t tell you to kill him…I can’t. Please understand.” My hands slid from his face as I looked for a sign of sympathy or understanding.
It was there…but so faint I could barely see it. It was like a dim light in a cloud of fog. There was illumination, but it would never be bright enough to pierce through.
Thirteen
Damien
I didn’t like the situation we were in, but I’d have to be naïve not to understand it. Annabella was as gentle as a spring flower, as harmless as a butterfly. She could never wish death upon anyone, even if they deserved it.
And I loved that about her.
I had to understand it wasn’t about him or me. It was about her. And if he came at me with a bullet, knife, or fist, I’d just have to do my best and kill him first. If given no other choice, she would understand. Somewhere down the road, his demise was inevitable. We both knew it.
We’d deal with the consequences later.
Annabella was asleep beside me, wearing one of my t-shirts with just her panties underneath. Her hair was all over the place, my pillow, the sheets, and everywhere else, leaving her fragrance soaked deeply into my belongings. Sometimes she would sigh in her sleep, her lips slightly parted and so sexy. She would roll away to the other side of the bed, but at some point, she’d reach for me, making sure I wasn’t too far away. She washed her face before bed every night, and I loved her plain look. Charlotte had to be caked with makeup to look anything like she appeared in magazines, but Annabella was stunning on her own. She never seemed to understand that, no matter how many times I told her.
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and looked at the time.
I had to leave.
I slid from the bed as quietly as possible, doing my best to limit the creak of the wooden frame and the mattress. Once I was on my feet, I stepped into the closet and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before I went to walk over to grab my wallet from the dresser.
Annabella was up in bed, sitting against the headboard as she looked around with sleepy eyes. Her gaze was focused on the bathroom, but when she heard me emerge from the closet, she turned her gaze on me. Once she realized I was dressed to go out, the concern emerged. “What are you doing?”
I’d hoped to slip out and come back in without her noticing. But I blew that. “I have to take care of something.”
“At this time of night?” She leaned over and looked at the clock sitting on my nightstand. “It’s three in the morning.”
“My job never sleeps.”
“Well…when will you be back?”
I moved back to the bed and sat on the edge. This was the reason I hadn’t wanted to be with Annabella in the first place. My life had dangerous tangents. There were times when I wouldn’t come home for days, nights when I would sneak out the door with a gun tucked in the back of my jeans. There would be nights when I killed people. I didn’t want her to get mixed up in that. “Before you wake up.”