Before I turned away, she spoke. “Hurry.”
I could dissect her tone easily even though we hadn’t spoken in weeks. She needed me to come back as quickly as possible, not so she could eat, but so I would be in the apartment with her again. “I will.”
When I returned, she was still in the bathroom.
She sat on the edge of the tub with the shower curtain open, a blue towel wrapped around her body with her damp hair over one shoulder. Once her shower was over, it seemed to be the first thing she did, and she hadn’t moved since.
I stepped into the bathroom with the plastic to-go bag and expected her to get up and move to the dining table, but she stayed still, looking at me like she expected me to bring the food to her. “Do you want to eat here?” Eating in a steamy bathroom sounded disgusting, but right now, she could do whatever she wanted and I wouldn’t say a word.
She nodded.
I took the container out of the bag and handed it to her. It was a hamburger with French fries. Then I sat on the closed toilet and faced her.
She quickly opened the lid and started to eat. She shoved several fries into her mouth at once, picked up the burger in both hands and took an enormous bite like she really was starving. The few times I’d seen her eat, she was really methodical, trying to eat as little as possible. “You’re not hungry?”
I kept my eyes on the floor so she wouldn’t think I was staring at her in that thin towel. “No.” There was so much acid in my stomach, I thought I’d never eat again. Thankfully, some of the bruising on her face had lessened after the shower, so those skin cells were dead and fell off, but I was still disturbed by what happened to her to make her so bruised in the first place. And I was afraid something worse happened besides those bruises.
She ate the whole thing, even the crispy burned fries. The entire hamburger was gone, and once she’d sighed in satisfaction, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she could’ve eaten more. She closed the box and left it on her lap like a pet she didn’t want to lose.
“Why don’t you want me to take you to Damien’s?” I didn’t understand why she’d want to stay in the same place she’d been taken from. No way she would feel safe. No way the memory wouldn’t haunt her forever.
“I refuse to be run out of my own home.” Despite everything she’d been through, the hysterical tears and deep bruises, she still had a resilient piece inside her. “Besides, I don’t want him to see me like this…”
“It’ll be a long time before those bruises fade, so he’s going to know eventually.”
She took a sharp breath like the thought of that conversation made her sick. “I’ll worry about that later. Damien might be able to handle it, but my father won’t.” She blinked her eyes quickly as the tears welled up once more. “It’ll make my father cry.” She fidgeted with the box in her hands.
Guilt suddenly flooded through me when I remembered what I did to him, that I would’ve executed him if Damien hadn’t outsmarted me. I had other things to think about right now, so I compartmentalized it. “I’ll change your door for you. Get you one that people can’t get past.”
“Thank you…”
I leaned forward with my arms on my thighs, unable to believe I was sitting in a bathroom with her, that I’d gone to work like any other day but saw the most disturbing thing in my life…her in that cell.
“You can look at me.” Her voice was quiet, delicate.
That was when I realized I wasn’t averting my gaze to protect her privacy. I did it for myself, because looking at her made me want to die. “I don’t want to.” I concentrated on my fingers, tried to block out the memory of her face, but I felt the hot tightness in my chest, an inexplicable emotion I hadn’t felt since I was a boy.
We sat together in the bathroom a long time, saying nothing. The steam eventually filtered out and her hair became completely dry. She finally stood up and walked out.
I followed behind her and watched her throw away the box before she went to her bedroom.
I assumed she was changing, so I stayed in the living room, looking at the front door as I considered what I would use to replace it. Maybe I could put her in a different apartment for the next week, just to give her real peace of mind.
She came back minutes later, in jeans and a shirt. The rest of her body didn’t seem to have injuries, but her neck was bruised too, signs of where he’d strangled her.