“Got it,” Frank muttered.
Hazel gripped her sword like she was tempted to pommel-whip the old man. “So you talked too much, and the gods cursed you. Why did they stop?”
“Oh, they didn’t!” The old man arched his bushy eyebrows like, Can you believe it? “I had to make a deal with the Argonauts. They wanted information too, you see. I told them to kill the harpies, and I’d cooperate. Well, they drove those nasty creatures away, but Iris wouldn’t let them kill the harpies. An outrage! So this time, when my patron brought me back to life—”
“Your patron?” Frank asked.
Phineas gave him a wicked grin. “Why, Gaea, of course.
Who do you think opened the Doors of Death? Your girl friend here understands. Isn’t Gaea your patron, too?”
Hazel drew her sword. “I’m not his—I don’t—Gaea is not my patron!”
Phineas looked amused. If he had heard the sword being drawn, he didn’t seem concerned. “Fine, if you want to be noble and stick with the losing side, that’s your business. But Gaea is waking. She’s already rewritten the rules of life and death! I’m alive again, and in exchange for my help—a prophecy here, a prophecy there—I get my fondest wish. The tables have been turned, so to speak. Now I can eat all I want, all day long, and the harpies have to watch and starve. ”
He revved his weed whacker, and the harpies wailed in the trees.
“They’re cursed!” the old man said. “They can eat only food from my table, and they can’t leave Portland. Since the Doors of Death are open, they can’t even die. It’s beautiful!”
“Beautiful?” Frank protested. “They’re living creatures. Why are you so mean to them?”
“They’re monsters!” Phineas said. “And mean? Those feather-brained demons tormented me for years!”
“But it was their duty,” Percy said, trying to control himself. “Jupiter ordered them to. ”
“Oh, I’m mad at Jupiter, too,” Phineas agreed. “In time, Gaea will see that the gods are properly punished. Horrible job they’ve done, ruling the world. But for now, I’m enjoying Portland. The mortals take no notice of me. They think I’m just a crazy old man shooing away pigeons!”
Hazel advanced on the seer. “You’re awful!” she told Phineas. “You belong in the Fields of Punishment!”
Phineas sneered. “One dead person to another, girlie? I wouldn’t be talking. You started this whole thing! If it weren’t for you, Alcyoneus wouldn’t be alive!”
Hazel stumbled back.
“Hazel?” Frank’s eyes got as wide as quarters. “What’s he talking about?”
“Ha!” Phineas said. “You’ll find out soon enough, Frank Zhang. Then we’ll see if you’re still sweet on your girlfriend.
But that’s not what you’re here about, is it? You want to find Thanatos. He’s being kept at Alcyoneus’s lair. I can tell you where that is. Of course I can. But you’ll have to do me a favor. ”
“Forget it,” Hazel snapped. “You’re working for the enemy.
We should send you back to the Underworld ourselves. ”
“You could try. ” Phineas smiled. “But I doubt I’d stay dead very long. You see, Gaea has shown me the easy way back. And with Thanatos in chains, there’s no one to keep me down! Besides, if you kill me, you won’t get my secrets. ”
Percy was tempted to let Hazel use her sword. In fact he wanted to strangle the old man himself.
Camp Jupiter, he told himself. Saving the camp is more important. He remembered Alcyoneus taunting him in his dreams. If they wasted time searching through Alaska looking for the giant’s lair, Gaea’s armies would destroy the Romans…and Percy’s other friends, wherever they were.
He gritted his teeth. “What’s the favor?”
Phineas licked his lips greedily. “There’s one harpy who’s quicker than the rest. ”
“The red one,” Percy guessed.
“I’m blind! I don’t know colors!” the old man groused. “At any rate, she’s the only one I have trouble with. She’s wily, that one. Always does her own thing, never roosts with the others. She gave me these. ”
He pointed at the scars on his forehead.
“Capture that harpy,” he said. “Bring her to me. I want her tied up where I can keep an eye on her…ah, so to speak. Harpies hate being tied up. It causes them extreme pain. Yes, I’ll enjoy that. Maybe I’ll even feed her so that she lasts longer. ”
Percy looked at his friends. They came to a silent agreement: they would never help this creepy old man. On the other hand, they had to get his information. They needed a Plan B.
“Oh, go talk among yourselves,” Phineas said breezily. “I don’t care. Just remember that without my help, your quest will fail. And everyone you love in the world will die. Now, off with you! Bring me a harpy!”
XXVII Percy
“WE’LL NEED SOME OF YOUR FOOD. ” Percy shouldered his way around the old man and snatched stuff off the picnic table—a covered bowl of Thai noodles in mac-and-cheese sauce, and a tubular pastry that looked like a combination burrito and cinnamon roll.
Before he could lose control and smash the burrito in Phineas’s face, Percy said, “Come on, guys. ” He led his friends out of the parking lot.
They stopped across the street. Percy took a deep breath, trying to calm down. The rain had slowed to a halfhearted drizzle. The cold mist felt good on his face.