“You’re going through with it, aren’t you?” Phillip asks, folding his arms across his chest.
“Going through with what?” I ask, blowing my hair from my face.
“Those kids,” he spits out. “You’re keeping them.”
I laugh. “They’re keeping me, actually,” I say.
“I never took you for stupid.”
I snort. His face turns red. “The only stupid thing I ever did was pick you. Asshole,” I say under my breath as I get in my car. I pull out while he stands there watching me. It’s all I can do not to put the window down and stick my middle finger out it to flip him off. But I’m a mom now. Moms don’t make public spectacles of themselves, do they? Probably not. I settle for doing it in my head. It’ll do for now, too, because he looks pissed.
I turn the radio up loud as I drive across town. I should feel bad about our breakup, but I’m not heavyhearted. Not at all. Not like I should be. I actually feel free. And I have to admit that I feel a little bit hopeful. I have a feeling Matthew Reed has something to do with that.
Heck, I just broke up with someone I thought I was in love with. I shouldn’t be having feelings for Matt. It’s too soon. Plus, I have too much going on in my life to add a new boyfriend to it. What man in his right mind would want me and my three kids? I snort to myself as I walk into the day care to get the girls. One of the other moms scrunches her nose up at me and ushers her kid by me quickly, taking a wide berth. I guess moms aren’t supposed to snort out loud, either.
Seth told Joey and Mellie that I would be picking them up from school today, but I’m not completely sure they know what’s going on when I walk in the door. Joey hides behind her teacher’s skirt, and Mellie sticks her thumb in her mouth. I drop down to their level and say, “Hi, girls,” with a soft voice. A soft voice won’t scare them, will it? Crap. I am terrible at this mom stuff.
“Mrs. Morgan?” the teacher asks. I called her last week and talked with her on the phone about our situation. She was very nice and really understanding.
I stick out my hand. “Miss,” I say to correct her. I’m definitely not married, and it doesn’t look like I ever will be now.
She shakes my hand and steps to the side to get Joey out from behind her. Both the girls are still in day care, and they combine the classes at the end of the day on the playground. The girls apparently stick to one another like glue. Is that normal? Heck, normal is just a setting on the dryer, right? I wouldn’t know normal if it bit me on the butt.
“Miss Morgan, if I can make a suggestion…” The teacher grimaces.
I look up at her. Joey and Mellie still aren’t coming toward me. I live in the same house with them. Joey pulls on her teacher’s skirt and says quietly, “Is my mommy coming to get me?”
Pain slices through me. I don’t know how to explain death to the little ones. Seth doesn’t either, apparently.
The teacher squats down and says, “Now we talked about this, didn’t we, Josephine?”
Heck, I didn’t even know that Joey’s real name is Josephine. What kind of a mother am I?
Joey just blinks up at her.
“Mommy’s gone, and she’s not coming back,” the teacher says.
Joey’s eyes fill with tears, and I step around the teacher to pick her up. She comes to me, heavy and limp like a wet dishrag when I lift her. She lays her head on my shoulder and snuggles in. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t discuss their mother with them,” I bite out. I’m sure the teacher has good intentions. But, God, she was a little cold, in my opinion.
“They need to understand that she’s gone,” the teacher says.
I hold up a finger. “Shh,” I breathe in a crisp warning. The teacher purses her lips.
“Mommy wouldn’t leave,” Mellie says. She comes forward and takes my hand, her fingers wet from where they were just stuck in her mouth, but I don’t care. She’s touching me of her own free will. It’s me and the girls against the world.
“That’s right,” I say to her. “Mommy would never leave you on purpose.”
“Don’t give them hope that she’s coming back,” the teacher warns.
“Shh,” I slice out again.
She stops talking.
“Mommy can’t come back,” I explain. “Mommy didn’t want to go, but she didn’t have a choice.”
“Mommy will be back,” Mellie says quietly.
“Mommy loved you both so much,” I tell them.
“Both the girls need new clothes,” the teacher interjects.
I turn back to face her. “What?”
“Seth had been taking care of them for quite some time, so I didn’t say anything, but their clothes are getting too small. Mellie’s shoes are too tight, and Joey’s pants are about four inches too short. Children grow, Miss Morgan. A lot.”
I bite my tongue because I can’t think of anything nice to say, and I have been a lawyer long enough to know that no response is probably better than saying what’s on my mind. Because what’s on my mind is that I want her to take a long walk off a short pier.
When did I become such a barbarian?
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll take care of them,” I say instead. “I appreciate it.” They do have to come back here tomorrow after all.
I look down at the girls. “Who wants to go shopping?” I ask.