“When will she be home?” he choked out.
Marlene gave him a look so sad that it ripped his heart right out of his chest.
“I don’t think she’s coming back this time,” she whispered.
She covered her mouth with her hand and briefly looked away before directing her gaze back at Sean.
“I’m sorry. I have to go now. Zoe is so upset and she needs me. I’ve already failed Rusty. I’m not going to fail Zoe now.”
She quietly shut the door, leaving Sean standing there, utterly sick at heart.
Dear God, what had he done?
He closed his eyes against the sudden stinging in his eyelids, remembering coming home to find her naked. In his bed. Just like he’d always dreamed of. Fantasized about. How much courage must it have taken her to put her heart on the line like that when for so long she’d been convinced he hated her and he’d given her no reason to believe otherwise?
You fucking coward.
He hadn’t even been able to get his shit together enough to simply tell her, to admit to her everything that was in his heart. She scared him shitless. She always had. How could anyone expect to hold on to her? To capture her when she was a free spirit, larger than life, with more courage and heart than anyone he’d ever known?
And now she was out of reach. As elusive as trying to catch a shooting star. What if she didn’t come back?
His jaw became hard and he was seized by rigid determination. He refused to give up. Not when she’d done so much to reach out to him. She deserved far better than he could ever give her, but he’d be damned if he ever let her go again.
He’d give her time, but he wasn’t waiting. Not anymore. He’d only give her so long before he dragged her back, kicking and screaming the entire way if he had to.
CHAPTER 30
JOE stood in the shadow cast by the tree against the moonlight and stared up at the window to the bedroom where Zoe was sleeping. His fingers curled and uncurled as nervousness assailed him. Grief was a heavy blanket over the Kelly family. They’d lost Rusty. The possibility that he could lose Zoe as well was unbearable.
With Rusty now gone, it was very possible that Zoe would no longer feel comfortable remaining in his parents’ house. She already blamed herself for what had been done to her and considered herself a burden. God, a burden!
She was the most precious gift he could have ever hoped to have been given. A burden? No fucking way, and he wasn’t going to let her go on thinking that bullshit a second longer.
Nothing had ever been this important in his life. Nothing ever would be. This was his life, or rather the future of it. He wiped his hand over his suddenly dry mouth and swallowed back the paralyzing fear of losing her. Of not spending the rest of his life with her. Of her not loving him back. Of her not wanting him as desperately as he wanted her.
He sucked in a steadying breath and then stared at the window with renewed purpose.
“Here I come, Zoe,” he murmured. “I guess I’ll have to be the prince to your Rapunzel.”
He hastily scaled the lower trunk until he was able to get a foothold on branches strong enough to support his weight. Gaining speed, he went higher until he was within reaching distance of the windowsill.
Not wanting to scare her to death, he slowly and very quietly slid the window upward, holding his breath in fear of a sudden creak or groan, but the night remained cloaked in silence.
He ducked inside, his gaze immediately seeking her out. He softened all over as he saw her lying on the bed on her side facing the window, her small hand tucked beneath her cheek and the pillow. He swallowed back his fury as he took in the bruises that, while fading, were still evident even when only illuminated by moonlight.
Wanting—needing—to touch her, to just be near her, he crossed the distance and slid onto the bed so his back rested against the headboard, his hip just a few inches from her face. He reached down to run his fingers through stray strands of hair that rested over her forehead and exposed cheek, and then he followed his hand down with his mouth, pressing his lips to her temple.
She stirred beneath him and opened her eyes just as he drew away and flipped the lamp on so she’d know who he was. Her eyes widened in recognition and then in panic.
“It kills me that you look at me with such fear,” Joe choked out, no longer able to contain the tidal wave of suppressed emotion. So much emotion. “Don’t you know how much I love you? That I’ll always love you? That I’d do anything in the damn world for you? That I want forever with you?”
He was pleading with her, for all practical purposes on his hands and knees begging for his future. Her love.
Zoe sat up, moisture rimming her eyelids, her hand fluttering in a helpless motion toward her throat as if she were suddenly incapable of speaking. At the moment, so was he. He was too busy soaking up the sight of her. Hoping . . . praying . . . for a miracle. She was his miracle.
“How can you want forever with someone like me?” she asked in a husky voice laced with shame.
Her gaze wouldn’t even meet his. She was looking everywhere except his face. He reached out and cupped her chin, gently tipping it upward until he knew she was finally looking at him.
“You mean someone as beautiful, compassionate, brave, sweet, loving and loyal as you?” he said in a tender voice.
She closed her eyes as tears sloshed over the rims, colliding with his fingers as he swept them from her skin.
“You know who and what my father is,” she choked out. “My own mother left him—me—before I was even able to remember much about her. Is that the kind of person you want? Someone who is the antithesis of every single thing you believe in and fight for?”