“Okay, well, I’m going to head home!” She completely ignored my mom as she spun on her heel.
“Cunt,” I murmured as she walked out the door.
“No way is she that oblivious,” Trevor scoffed.
“She knew exactly who we were.”
“Can you believe how much she looked like Ani? Her dad must have had some weak genes.”
“No shit.” I leaned back in my seat and gave my mom a small smile as she met my eyes across the room.
“Well, at least you know what Ani will look like in twenty years. Not bad.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall.
Fifteen minutes later, I was on my feet, my palms once again sweaty as Ani came walking carefully down the corridor, a little wrapped bundle in her arms. If I hadn’t already known that she was a girl, the baby’s gender would have been a complete mystery in the unisex blanket and hat she was wrapped in.
She needed something pink. Pronto.
“This is Arielle Elizabeth Martin,” Ani announced as she reached us.
“Oh,” my mom breathed, “look at her.”
“Seven pounds even and twenty-and-a-half inches long,” Ani said, meeting Sue’s eyes. “Do you want to hold her?”
“Can I?” Sue asked nervously.
Ani nodded, then kissed the top of little Arielle’s head before handing her to her grandmother.
Everyone was staring at the baby as Sue held her, but I watched Ani. Her hands were loose down at her sides, but her fingers fidgeted against her thighs. I moved in beside her and laid my hand gently at the base of her spine, trying to calm her down.
She’d just handed her daughter to a person that could take Arielle away forever, and I knew she must be so scared.
“Arielle?” Sue asked.
“Yeah.” Ani nodded.
“I like it.” Sue leaned down and kissed Arielle’s head, pressing her nose softly against the baby’s skin for a long moment as she sniffled. She looked up at her husband in question, and he shook his head just a little.
I didn’t blame him. The idea of holding the sweet little girl and then giving her away made me nauseous.
“Thank you,” Sue said to Ani, handing Arielle back to her. “Thank you for everything.” Her breath hitched. “We’re going to head home, let your family celebrate.”
Ani started to protest but Sue shook her head. “Could you let Marcus know that we left and tell him to call us in a couple hours? I know—” She swallowed hard. “He’s going to need us, but I think he wants to be with Bethy right now.”
“Of course we will,” my mom said, pulling Sue into a hug.
They said good-bye to the rest of us, and then Richard ushered a crying Sue out of the room.
Ani’s distraught gaze met mine.
“Hard decision to make,” I told her quietly.
“Do you think they’ll—”
“No,” I told her resolutely, knowing what she was going to ask. “They won’t change their minds.”
Ani smiled tremulously, then looked around at the group. “Who wants to hold her?”
“Bram first,” Trevor said, his mouth tipping up. Asshole.
“Yeah?” Ani asked, turning to me.
“Uh.” I glanced at my mom, my eyes widening.
I’d held a lot of babies. I’d carried around Shane and Kate’s kids from the time they were just hours old. It wasn’t hard—hell, as long as you kept a good grip and made sure their head wasn’t wobbling around, you were golden. But I knew, I fucking knew, that the moment I held Arielle, everything would change.
“Sure,” I finally choked out. “Let me sit down.”
My dad snickered, but I ignored it as I took a couple steps backward and landed in a hard chair.
“Here you go,” Ani said quietly as the rest of our family moved to the far side of the room.
She laid the baby in my hands.
I couldn’t breathe.
This was insane.
I’d held babies before.
Why was I—
Arielle shifted in her blankets, and I inhaled sharply, watching her tiny face.
She was gorgeous. Like no baby I’d ever seen before. Her skin was darker than mine, but not as red as my niece Iris’s had been. And her eyes were almond shaped, which made sense because Sue was obviously of Asian descent. Her lips were puckered, but had a definite Cupid’s bow shape.
I pulled off her hat and smiled a little at the full head of short, black hair.
“Bethy’s half African American,” Ani said, crouching down in front of me to run a fingertip over Arielle’s head.
“She needs some pink,” I blurted out softly, glaring at the ugly hospital blanket Arielle was wrapped in.
“Yeah. Maybe Liz can get her some stuff. Bethy’s in with the social worker right now, and I don’t really want to leave the hospital.”
I nodded. I wanted to meet her eyes, tell her congratulations and all that bullshit, but I couldn’t look away from Arielle’s face.
I pressed my knees together, making Ani scoot back a little, and laid the baby down on my legs so I could unwrap her.