“I’m not going to stop talking to Ani because you’ve got some fucked-up desire to piss on her leg,” Alex argued, his voice low. “She’s one of my best friends. Just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean that’s going to change.”
“I don’t give a shit if you two want to play Call of Duty or paint each other’s nails,” I replied derisively. “I’m telling you right now to stop discussing me with Ani. I’ll take care of this. I don’t need you fucking shit up more than it already is.”
“Jesus Christ,” Alex breathed, barking out a laugh. “Abraham, I’m pretty sure you’re fucking this up all on your own.”
The line went silent, and I pulled my phone away from my ear to find that the fucker had hung up on me.
I was sitting in my truck in front of my parents’ house, and I’d taken Alex’s call so I could put off going inside. I’d missed family dinner the week before because I’d fallen asleep on my couch without even taking my boots off. I was barely sleeping at night, and when I did, I still didn’t feel rested the next morning.
Things with Ani and me were tense, but I didn’t know what the hell to do about it. I’d laid it all out. I’d told her exactly what I wanted, and then I’d waited for her to come to me—but she hadn’t.
I’d seen her at work, and I’d gone to my mom’s on my lunch break to see Arielle, but Ani still hadn’t said a word about our conversation. She seemed perfectly fine with the way things were going, while I was a fucking mess.
I scratched my fingers through my beard and hopped out of the truck, frustration and overwhelming exhaustion making my movements sharp and jerky. I was running on adrenaline, and the crash was going to hit me hard. My conversation with Alex had pissed me off, and knowing that Ani was just inside the house made that anger magnify by a thousand.
How could she just write me off? She said she fucking loved me, but what? I wasn’t good enough for her because I hadn’t wanted kids before I met Arielle? If that was the case, why did she keep spouting off about how she still loved me?
I climbed the steps and walked in the front door without knocking. The closer I got to Ani, the more frustrated I got, and the minute I heard her laughing voice in the kitchen, any patience I’d had was lost.
“Anita,” I growled as I cleared the doorway, making my mom and aunt Ellie’s heads shoot up in surprise.
“Abraham,” my mom called in warning.
“Outside,” I ordered, ignoring my mom as I herded Ani toward the back door.
She didn’t argue with me, just took one last look at Arielle, who was swinging back and forth in her little swing at the edge of the kitchen, before leading me outside.
As soon as we’d hit the back porch and I’d slammed the door behind us, Ani wrapped her arms around herself and lifted her chin. “What’s up?” she asked calmly.
The lack of emotion in her voice made me crazy.
“Why the fuck are you discussing me with Alex?” I yelled, making her jerk in surprise. “How the fuck is any of this his business?”
It wasn’t what I’d wanted to say. I wanted to ask why she hadn’t called. I wanted to know why she didn’t want me. Why she didn’t even seem to miss me anymore. I wanted to know if she still loved me.
But I wasn’t going to actually say any of that. I’d already told her what I wanted. She knew where I was at, and she simply didn’t care. I wasn’t going to lie back down so she could step over me and walk away again.
“Are you joking?” Ani asked in surprise, her hands fisting.
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
“No, you look like you’re going to fall over. Why don’t you go get some rest and then we can talk again when you aren’t completely losing it.”
“I can’t fucking rest, Anita!” I hissed, taking a step toward her. “I feel like shit all the time. And you seem to be doing just fucking fine. You don’t want to be with me? Then just say it!”
Ani’s mouth trembled, and her cheek puckered.
“Just say it,” I insisted, taking another step forward. “Because this is absolute bullshit! I know I fucked up! I know that I acted like a pussy, and I ran—”
“Why did you run, Abraham?” she asked tearfully, cutting me off.
“Because I didn’t think I wanted kids and—”
“No,” she cut me off again. “The truth.”
“That is the fucking truth!”
“Not the whole truth,” she argued, shaking her head slowly from side to side.
“What do you want me to say, here?”
“I want you to tell me why you had a change of heart,” Ani said simply, like the answer was something easily given.