“They’re always kicking me out,” Ani told Sarai, giving her a small smile. “Like they’ve got anything I’d want to see.”
“You’ve seen it all,” I said. “Bram and I are identical. Now scoot.”
“You sound like your mother,” Ani bickered, rounding the bed. “And you and your brother definitely aren’t identical.”
“Close enough,” I muttered as she left the room, closing the door behind her.
Sarai closed her eyes as I pulled my pants and socks off, and she didn’t move as I climbed into bed beside her.
“Do you need anything?” I asked, pulling the blankets up to her shoulder.
“Just sleep,” she said dully.
I watched her as her breathing slowed and finally evened out, but I couldn’t fall asleep. Since the moment she’d gotten back from surgery the night before, something had been off. It was like she’d shut down. There weren’t any more tears, but there wasn’t any conversation, either. She barely said a word even when I asked her direct questions.
She’d completely closed herself off from me.
Chapter 16
Sarai
I woke up from my nap to the sound of voices in the living room. Alex wasn’t in bed beside me anymore, and I let out a little sigh of relief. I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t know what to say to anyone, really, but it was worse with him.
The last twenty-four hours felt so unreal. I didn’t understand any of it. I’d known that Sean was an asshole, but I never could’ve predicted how crazy he’d turned out to be.
I slid my hand over my stomach and stared at the ceiling.
“You’re awake,” Ani said, peeking around the door.
“Yes,” I said, using my good arm to push myself up.
“You’ve got someone out here who wants to see you,” she said. “Do you want to stay in here or come out?”
“I’ll come out,” I replied, wondering who it could be.
The sky had darkened while I’d slept, and rain dripped down the window, making me shudder. I lifted a hand to my hair, expecting it to feel wet, then remembered that it had dried overnight at the hospital.
“You have a robe?” Ani asked, coming into the room. She opened my closet and found what she was looking for, then helped me put it on.
Ani was pushy. She didn’t wait for my permission, just waded in and did what she thought was best. For some reason, though, I liked it. I didn’t have to worry about her feelings or try to make her comfortable; I just had to let her have her way, which was fine with me. There was no pressure to do or say the right thing.
I followed her out of the room, trying to ignore the pad that bunched and moved with each step. Every time it rubbed against my skin, it was a reminder of what I’d lost, like someone tapping on my shoulder to point it out.
“Mom wants to know if you want her to come,” I heard Bram say as we neared the kitchen.
“Tell her thanks, but no,” Alex replied. “I think Sarai has enough company for now.”
“She wants to check on you, too,” Bram said.
“I’m fine,” Alex said firmly.
Well, I was glad that one of us was.
“Sarai,” a familiar voice said as I rounded the corner.
Mrs. K moved across the room and met me in the middle, her arms coming around my body in a surprisingly tight hug. Her head barely reached my shoulder—she was so tiny—but the familiar smell of her perfume was instantly comforting, and I sagged against her.
“Well now,” she murmured, reaching up to smooth my hair. “Well now, it’s all right.”
I shuddered, but no tears came. My eyes had been dry since I’d woken up from surgery, no matter what thoughts bombarded me. I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
“I brought you some dinner,” she said, pulling back from our hug. “Sit, sit.”
She ushered me to the table and sat me down. For the next hour, I ate what Mrs. K put in front of me and stared into space, letting the conversation flow around me.
“Mrs. K,” I said, putting my hand on hers as she tried to take my plate. “You don’t have to take care of me.”
“Papa is enjoying the time to himself,” she said, nudging me with her arm. “So he can sneak a TV dinner he thinks I don’t know about.”
I smiled for her benefit, but exhaustion was starting to weigh me down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or see anyone, and the sound of little Arie babbling was starting to really bother me. My baby would never do that. She’d never keep me up at night or cry for me or lay her head on my shoulder the way Arie was lying on Ani. She’d never do anything.
I stood from the table as Mrs. K walked toward the sink, and the conversation around me stopped.