It was two and a half weeks postaccident when the quiet little world I’d built was flipped on its axis. I woke up midafternoon to voices I knew very well.
“Sarai Levy,” my aunt scolded as she strode into my room. “Get out of bed.” She went to the window and opened the curtains wide.
“No,” I murmured, pulling a pillow over my head.
I hadn’t seen my aunt and uncle in person for over a year, and I hadn’t seen them on a computer screen in months, but I felt nothing. Blankness. I wasn’t sad or happy, excited or disappointed. I was just existing.
“Sarai,” my aunt said softly, realizing that her scolding had no effect. She crawled onto my bed and lay down so that our faces were level. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I let that sink in for a moment, trying to find some relief that my aunt was just inches away and that she had finally forgiven me, but there was nothing. She’d abandoned me for months because she’d been angry; the fact that she’d shown up because of the accident seemed hypocritical. She hadn’t been happy about Alex or the baby anyway, so why was she trying to comfort me when she’d gotten what she wanted?
“Missed you, too,” I replied honestly. “Poor timing for a visit, though.” I wasn’t ready to give her more than that. My trust was gone.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted when you told me you’d gotten married,” she said softly, brushing her fingers through my hair. “And when you told us about the baby. But I’m here now.” She paused, waiting for a response that I refused to give her. “God has a plan, Sarai,” she said. “You’ll have more children. Later, when you’re ready.”
My whole body went hot as I opened my eyes. No. She didn’t get to act as if this were all part of a big plan, like my child had been a mistake. “God didn’t kill my child,” I replied flatly. “A man did. He’s currently rotting in a military jail for it.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant,” I said, cutting her off.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, sighing as she ran her fingers along the cast covering my wrist, like she could heal the bone beneath it with just her touch. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Don’t say anything,” I muttered, closing my eyes again. “There’s nothing to say.”
She was quiet for a while, and I felt sleep pulling me under again.
“Your uncle is here, too. He’s in the kitchen with your husband.” My heart gave a weak thump at her use of the word. At least she’d acknowledged our marriage.
“Good,” I replied. For the first time in a while, I felt something resembling hope. Maybe if they spent some time with him, they’d grow to love him like I did.
“Aren’t you going to go out and save him?” she teased.
“No,” I said easily. “Alex can take care of himself.”
* * *
I sat at the table later that night, picking at my food while my aunt and uncle tried to pull me into their conversation. I responded when I was supposed to and asked for clarification when I knew I should, but they must have known that I had no interest in hearing stories about the people I used to know. New York felt so far away now, like an alien planet.
“Maybe you should come home with us,” my aunt said. “Stay for a while.”
“Adinah,” my uncle said firmly, cutting her off.
“New York isn’t home anymore,” I replied, not looking up from my meal.
“Of course,” my aunt said. “I just thought maybe some time away would help.”
“Well, it wouldn’t,” I snapped. I glanced at Alex. Did he realize what she was doing? Did he understand the implication of her words? She hadn’t invited us both.
“Sarai only has a few months of school left,” Alex said easily. My uncle and aunt didn’t notice the way his jaw flexed as he gritted his teeth, but I did. “Maybe we could come for a visit after she graduates.”
My aunt bristled. “Do you speak for my niece now?”
“Adinah,” Uncle Isaac bit out. “That’s enough.”
“No,” Alex said, his hand finding my thigh beneath the table. “Sarai is more than capable of speaking for herself. It was just a suggestion.”
“I’m sorry,” Aunt Adinah murmured. She straightened her shoulders. “That was rude of me.”
“Well, if you can’t be rude to family,” Alex said, extending an olive branch, “who can you be rude to?”
Aunt Adinah smiled slightly. “Is your family rude, then?” she asked almost teasingly. I felt my shoulders slowly relax.
“No,” Alex said, shaking his head as he went back to his food. “Well, my sister-in-law is borderline rude.”
“That’s not true,” I interrupted. I looked over to my aunt. “Ani’s just very outspoken.”
“She says whatever pops into her head, and damn the consequences,” Alex continued. “Once, she yelled at a guy wearing expensive shoes because he ignored a homeless man panhandling on the street.” He shook his head. “The guy turned out to be the person she was supposed to be meeting for an interview.” He paused. “She didn’t get the job.”