“You two are close. It seems logical.”
Ming kept her panic off her face, but it wasn’t easy. “It would mess up our friendship.”
“Why? I’m assuming you’re going to use a clinic.”
This was all hitting a little too close to home. “That’s what I figured I’d do.” Until Jason came up with the crazy notion of them sleeping together. “I’d better give Lily a hand in the kitchen.”
Leaving her parents to process what she’d told them, Ming sidled up to her sister.
“I shared my news.” She started rinsing off dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher. “Are you going to tell them you’ve bought a house in Portland?”
“I changed my mind.”
“About the house or Portland?”
“Both.”
“Evan must be thrilled.” The words slipped out before Ming realized what she was saying. In her defense, she was rattled by her father’s speculation about Jason being a great dad and her mother’s guess that he was going to help her get pregnant.
“Evan?” Lily tried to sound confused rather than anxious, but her voice buckled beneath the weight of her dismay. “Why would Evan care?”
The cat was out of the bag. Might as well clear the air. “Because you two are dating?”
Ming was aware that keeping a secret about her and Jason while unveiling her sister’s love life was the most hypocritical thing she’d done in months.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Evan admitted it to Jason and he told me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Don’t you think you should have?” She didn’t want to resent Lily for finding happiness.
“I honestly didn’t think anything was going to happen between us.”
“Happen between you when, exactly?” Ming’s frustration with her own love life was bubbling to the surface. “The first time you went out? The first time he kissed you?”
“I don’t want this to come between us.”
“Me, either.” But at the moment it was, and Ming couldn’t dismiss the resentment rumbling through her.
“But I don’t want to break up with him.” Beneath Lily’s determined expression was worry. “I can’t.”
Shock zipped across Ming’s nerve endings. “Is it that serious?”
“He told me he loves me.”
“Wow.” Ming exhaled in surprise.
It had taken almost a year of dating for Evan to admit such deep feelings for her. As reality smacked her in the face, she was overcome by the urge to curl into a ball and cry her eyes out. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t in love with Evan. She’d made her peace with their breakup. Why couldn’t she be happy for her sister?
“Do you feel the same?”
Lily wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I do.”
“How long have you been going out?”
“A couple months. I know it seems fast, but I’ve been interested in Evan since high school. Until recently, I had no idea he saw me as anything more than your baby sister. Emphasis on the baby.” Lily’s lips curved down at the corners.
There was a five-year difference in their ages. That gap would have seemed less daunting as Lily moved into her twenties and became a successful career woman.
“I guess he’s seen the real you at last.”
“I want you to know, I never meant for this to happen.”
“Of course you didn’t.”
“It’s just that no one has control over who they fall in love with.”
What Lily had just told Ming should have relieved her own guilt over what she and Jason were doing. Evan had moved on. He was in love. If he ever discovered what was happening between her and Jason, Evan should be completely accepting. After all, he’d fallen for her sister. All Ming was doing was getting pregnant with Jason’s child. It wasn’t as if they were heading down the path to blissfully-ever-after.
Struck by the disparity between the perfect happiness of every couple she knew and the failure of her own love life, Ming’s heart ached. Her throat closed as misery battered her. Her longing for a man she could never have and her inability to let him go trapped her. It wasn’t enough to have Jason as her best friend. She wanted to claim him as her lover and the man she’d spend the rest of her life committed to. On her current path, Ming wasn’t sure how she was ever going to find her way out of her discontent, but since she wasn’t the sort who moldered in self-pity, she’d better figure it out.
*
Unwinding in her office after a hectic day of appointments, Ming rechecked the calendar where she’d been keeping track of her fertility cycle for the past few months. According to her history, her period should have started today.
Excitement raced through her. She could be pregnant. For a second she lost the ability to breathe. Was she ready for this? Months of dreaming and hoping for this moment hadn’t prepared her for the reality of the change in her life between one heartbeat and the next.
Ming stared at her stomach. Did Jason’s child grow inside her? She caught herself mid-thought. This was her child. Not hers and Jason’s. She had to stop fooling herself that they were going to be a family. She and Jason were best friends who wanted very different things out of life. They were not a couple. Never would be.
“Are you still here?” Terry leaned into the room and flashed his big white smile. “I thought you had a wedding rehearsal to get to.”
Ming nodded. “I’m leaving in ten minutes. The church is only a couple miles away.”
“Did those numbers I gave you make you feel better or worse?”
Earlier in the week Terry had opened up the practice’s books so she could see all that went into the running of the business. Although part of her curriculum at dental school had involved business courses that would help her if she ever decided to open her own practice, her college days were years behind her.
“I looked them over, but until I get Jason to walk me through everything, I’m still feeling overwhelmed.”
“Understandable. Let me know if you have any questions.”
After Terry left, Ming grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Until five minutes ago, she’d been looking forward to this weekend. Max and Rachel were a solid couple.
Thanks to Susan Case, Max’s mother, the wedding promised to be a magical event. After both Nathan and Sebastian had skipped formal ceremonies—Nathan marrying Emma on a Saint Martin beach and Sebastian opting for an impromptu Las Vegas elopement—Susan had threatened Max with bodily harm if she was denied this last chance at a traditional wedding.
Most brides would have balked at so much input from their future mother-in-law, but Rachel’s only family was her sister, and Ming thought the busy employment agency owner appreciated some of the day-to-day details being handled by Max’s mother.
When Ming arrived at the church, most of the wedding party was already there. She set her purse in the last pew and let her gaze travel up the aisle to where the minister was speaking to Max. As the best man, Jason stood beside him, listening intently. Ming’s breath caught at the sight of him clad in a well-cut dove-gray suit, white shirt and pale green tie.
Was she pregnant? It took effort to keep her fingers from wandering to her abdomen. When she’d embarked on this journey three weeks ago, she’d expected that achieving her goal would bring her great joy and confidence. Joy was there, but it was shadowed by anxiety and doubt.
She wasn’t second-guessing her decision to become a mom, but she no longer wanted to do it alone. Jason would freak out if he discovered how much she wanted them to be a real family. Husband, wife, baby. But that’s not how he’d visualized his future, and she had no right to be disappointed that they wanted different things.
As if her troubled thoughts had reached out to him, Jason glanced in her direction. When their eyes met, some of her angst eased. Raising his eyebrows, he shot her a crooked grin. Years of experience gave her insight into exactly what he was thinking.
Max couldn’t be talked out of this crazy event.
She pursed her lips and shook her head.
You shouldn’t even try. He’s found his perfect mate.
“Are you two doing that communicating-without-words thing again?”
Ming hadn’t noticed Missy stop beside her. With her red hair and hazel eyes, Sebastian’s wife wore chocolate brown better than anyone Ming had ever met.
“I guess we are.” Ming’s gaze returned to Jason.
“Have you ever thought about getting together? I know you were engaged to his brother and all, but it seems as if you’d be perfect for each other.”
“Not likely.” Ming had a hard time summoning energy to repeat the tired old excuses. She was stuck in a rut where Jason was concerned, with no clue how to get out. “We’re complete opposites.”
“No one is more different than Sebastian and I.” Missy grinned. “It can be a lot of fun.”
Based on the redhead’s saucy smile, Ming had little trouble imagining just how much fun the newlyweds were having. She sighed. Prior conversations with Emma, Missy and Rachel had shown her that not everyone’s road to romance was straight and trouble-free, but Ming knew she wasn’t even on a road with Jason. More like a faint deer trail through the woods.