There You Stand (Between Breaths 5)

He was like some of these abused, caged animals. If you got too close, they’d retreat or maybe even bite to send a message to back the hell off. You had to take your time or you’d lose their trust. With Jude, I just badly wanted to know him—and my resolve was weakening with every stride.

As soon as we made it to the large posterior room, loud barking and whining commenced, as usual. And this was the toughest part for me. All the dogs wanted our attention and we only had so much to spread around. Because no matter how mistreated or abandoned they’d been, they still wanted what everybody else did—to belong to somebody. I didn’t know how Emmy could stand it day after day. They desperately wanted to be loved and shown affection and it broke my heart nearly every damn time.

In my own quiet way, I understood that desperation. That need. And because of it, I went by each cage and took my time greeting each of the dogs. They were so happy to see me and probably still would be without the darn treats I offered them with each pat on the head.

Beginning with the last row of cages, I moved the dogs to the large enclosure at the corner of the room so I could clean their area. It also gave them time to socialize with each other. I had to know which dogs were friendly with each other before I placed them together and Emmy had been helpful with that. Otherwise all hell would break loose.

“I’ll get to you, Patch,” Emmy said as she passed by her favorite dog’s cage. She tried not to show them preferential treatment, but if Patch had any reasoning skills he might’ve guessed he was the dog that Emmy preferred. I wished she could move into her own apartment that allowed animals, so she could finally have Patch as her own. It gutted me that she cared so damn much and didn’t have the means to do anything about it.

The guilt I felt when Chopper wormed his way into my life was even worse. Though Emmy was happy the dog had somebody to take care of him, I knew she was hoping I’d adopt her favorite hound. I couldn’t believe I had agreed to begin with. But that’s what a night at Zach’s over a couple of beers and a game of “never have I ever” had done to me. Before I knew it, I had told her I was interested in a companion for Ace. The following week, I was visiting the shelter and then volunteering after that.

God, I was a sucker for a hopeless cause.

“Anything going down with you and Tristan yet?” I asked as I passed by her to turn the nozzle on the hose.

Her cheeks washed with color. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Emmy,” I said, and waggled my eyebrows. “You can be straight with me.”

“No, nothing. But I wish,” she said, sighing. “How about you and skater boy?”

I was so stunned I almost dropped the hose and got us both drenched. “Huh?”

“See, doesn’t feel so good being outed about your crush, does it?”

Guess I was more transparent than I thought I was. “Problem is, I might be barking up the wrong tree. It’s hard when you’re gay to know if someone is going to knock your lights out for showing interest.”

“Gosh, Cory, I hadn’t thought of that,” she said, soaping up the sponge. “Damn.”

“No biggie,” I said. “So if you don’t mind, let’s keep our little crushes under wraps, yeah?”

My back was on fire by the time I finished hosing out the cages. Happened every time but it had to be done. Eventually I’d probably need disc surgery, but for now, I’d just suck it up. The throbbing was bound to pass anyway.

After placing the mutts back in clean cages, Emmy and I took a few of the dogs for a walk. She had Patch, Buddy, and Marley. I had Kane, Max, and Bailey. As soon as I got moving, my back felt better. Well, between that and the three Motrins I’d popped.

As we neared the all-too-familiar grassy fields from my morning walks, I kept my eyes trained ahead.

“The dog park is almost finished,” Emmy said and tipped her head toward the construction zone at the edge of the property. “A few more days.”

She worked tirelessly to get the ordinance passed and the city broke ground a couple of months ago.

“It’s gonna be cool for these dogs,” I said, keeping my eyes focused on the large backhoes.

I was curious whether or not Jude was at the bowl, but out of my side view I could already tell that he wasn’t. I recognized his moves and the lines of his body, which was pathetic really. Besides, Emmy didn’t know that this was the park I walked to almost daily and after her revelation about Jude, I didn’t want her to know how deep my crush actually ran.

It also occurred to me that I knew so little about him that one day he might pack up and leave town and I would never be the wiser. Luckily that meant he’d be leaving with an unfinished tattoo. Somehow that thought brought me comfort, even though it was a tie to me that was flimsy at best. He could easily find another artist in another town to finish the work, or choose to do that anyway, if he got pissed at me. But at least I knew a part of me would always be on his skin.

That’s when suddenly, I saw him. The air whooshed straight from my lungs as if I’d been holding my breath or something. Christ, I was something else. I couldn’t stop staring because he wasn’t alone like he normally was, unless of course, other skaters surrounded him.

He was sitting on a bench with this tall and muscular man standing over him. Jude’s head slunk down and it was difficult to read his expression. The man seemed official looking, not because of how he was dressed, but because of his stature. He appeared to be lecturing Jude.