Bright orange poppies were everywhere, crowding the engraved walkways, and so many flowers I’d never seen before, in every color the human eye could decipher. There were trees, small almond ones and larger breeds, giving the interior privacy and creating its own little world inside the iron fence.
I passed a caretaker who was grooming multi-colored roses, the kind I’d never seen outside of this garden. Some were red and yellow. Other petals were ombré, red fading into pink. Crazy. I wanted to pluck several of the blossoms and take them back to the room, but the ancient-looking caretaker looked like she’d cut me if that happened.
Finding the bench near the back, I plopped down and stretched out my legs, placing the hoodie in my lap and just . . . just sat there. Not the most exciting of all things. I didn’t have to come to the garden. I could’ve met up with Deacon and Luke, but ever since everything had gone down, I’d been their shadow. While I knew they didn’t mind, I also knew I didn’t need to be their third wheel every single evening.
Deacon had been a godsend though.
If it weren’t for him, I’d probably still be curled in a fetal position on my bed, smelling like week-old butt. God, he’d been amazing. He’d let me sit there and shove ranch-drenched fries in my face, then listened when I told him what had happened. Deacon commiserated with me and then he got angry with me, for me.
He’d offered to sneak into Seth’s room at night and shave off his eyebrows, and while there was a part of me that would’ve loved that, I advised him against that idea.
But Deacon didn’t have any answers nor did he understand Seth’s sudden one-eighty, but in a way, he hadn’t seemed all that surprised.
“You’re going to have to fight for that guy,” he’d said.
I’d shaken my head, taken aback by the idea and thoroughly confused. “I don’t think there’s anything to fight for.”
And how could there be? It had been so easy for Seth just to cut off everything with me, without so much as a reason or warning. How could you really care about someone when you could walk away from them that easily?
I’d asked Deacon that, and again, he really didn’t have an answer.
Neither did I.
I loved Seth. I was in love with him. And I hurt so bad that every night, my pillow turned into a tissue, but I wasn’t going to beg Seth. I was feeling pretty pathetic, but that was a hard pass. I had my limit.
Or at least that was what I kept telling myself every time I passed his room or when I thought I saw him on campus. Like yesterday, when I was leaving the garden, I thought I saw him when I stepped out, but when I looked again, no one was there. I had seen him on Tuesday, talking to Luke as they were walking toward the main Council building. I wanted to give chase, to corner him, and demand to know exactly what had happened—what I’d done to initiate this change in him.
Because I had to have done something.
That was the only thing that made sense. I just had a hard time figuring out what it was. Could he have just gotten so frustrated with me, because I wasn’t getting the hang of using the elements, that he started thinking I was weak? I knew Seth valued strength. Without having ever met Alex, I knew that was what had drawn him to her, besides the freaking Apollyon connection thing. Or was it because the relationship sometimes felt . . . one-sided. Like what had happened on Friday, after training. It had been all about him giving me pleasure and nothing for him. Should I’ve been more aggressive in my attempts to please him? I didn’t know. I’d never been in a relationship before. What did I know? Seth could’ve just grown bored.
Or maybe he’d found someone else.
A slice of pain lit up my chest. God, it was possible. There were so many beautiful girls here—willowy and flawless, stunning pures and halfs. Seth probably had a damn fan club on this campus and there was no shortage of willing partners.
He could be with someone else now.
He could’ve already been with someone. Someone stronger, more experienced and who didn’t lurch around like Big Foot after six beers—
Cutting off those thoughts before I ended up wailing like an angry baby, I forced my thoughts to other things. Before I headed back to my room, I needed to swing by the library and do my daily stalking—
Something snagged my attention, and I looked to my right, seeing nothing at first. I wasn’t even sure what I—there! Leaning forward, I squinted as I stared through the thick leaves, swearing I saw something . . . shimmer? Glitter maybe? What the . . . ? I scooted forward on the bench. A handful of seconds later, I saw it again. I had no idea what I was seeing. The leafy vines climbing up the statues and spreading from one to another were thick and tall—taller than me, but something was behind them. I was sure of it. Whatever it was, it was flesh-colored. Bronzed and it—
“What are you doing?”
Jerking back in surprise, I straightened as I lifted my gaze. So focused on what I was seeing, I hadn’t heard someone approaching me. I hadn’t expected anyone, to be honest. No one seemed to ever come into the garden, but now I was staring at Colin.
“Nothing.” I glanced back at the vines. No movement. No glimmer. Whatever was there, it was gone now. My gaze shot back to the half. I hadn’t seen him since the night with the two pure guys. “What are you doing? Following me around again?”
His brows rose. “Um. No. Not really. I actually come in here once a week. It’s a good place to chill and clear the mind after training.”
“Oh.” Warmth poured into my cheeks. This was awkward. “I . . . uh, haven’t seen you in here before.”