EVA CAME AWAKE to find herself splayed on top of Zaccheo’s body.
The sun remained high in the sky so she knew she hadn’t slept for more than an hour or two. Nevertheless, the thought that she’d dropped into a coma straight after sex made her cringe.
She risked a glance and found grey eyes examining her with that half-smile she was growing to like a little more than she deemed wise.
He brushed a curl from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. The gentleness in the act fractured her breathing.
‘Ciao, dolcezza.’
‘I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you,’ she said, then immediately felt gauche for not knowing the right after-sex etiquette.
He quirked a brow. ‘Oh? Who did you mean to fall asleep on?’ he asked.
She jerked up. ‘No, that’s not what I meant...’ she started to protest, then stopped when she saw the teasing light in his eyes.
She started to settle back down, caught a glimpse of his chiselled pecs and immediately heat built inside her. A little wary of how quickly she was growing addicted to his body, she attempted to slide off him.
He stopped her with one hand at her nape, the other on her hip. The action flexed his arm and Eva’s gaze was drawn to the tattoo banding his upper arm.
‘Does this have a special meaning?’
His smile grew a little stiffer. ‘It’s a reminder not to accept less than I’m worth or compromise on what’s important to me. And a reminder that, contrary to what the privileged would have us believe, all men are born equal. It’s power that is wielded unequally.’
Eva thought of the circumstances that had brought her to this place, of the failings of her own family and the sadness she’d carried for so long, but now hoped to let go of.
‘You wield more than enough share of power. Men cower before you.’
A frown twitched his forehead. ‘If they do, it is their weakness, not mine.’
She gave an incredulous laugh. ‘Are you saying you don’t know you intimidate people with just a glance?’
His frown cleared. ‘You’re immune to this intimidation you speak of. To my memory, you’ve been disagreeable more often than not.’
She traced the outline of the tattoo, revelling in the smooth warmth of his skin. ‘I’ve never been good at heeding bellowed commands.’
The hand on her hip tightened. ‘I do not bellow.’
‘Maybe not. But sometimes the effect is the same.’
She found herself flipped over onto her back, Zaccheo crouched over her like a lethal bird of prey. ‘Is that why you hesitated as you walked down the aisle?’ he asked in a harsh whisper. The look in his eyes was one of almost...hurt.
Quickly she shook her head. ‘No, it wasn’t.’
‘Then what was it? You thought that I wasn’t good enough, perhaps?’ he pressed. And again she glimpsed a hint of vulnerability in his eyes that caught at a weak place in her heart.
She opened her mouth to finally tell him. To lay herself bare to the scathing rejection that would surely follow her confession.
The words stuck in her throat.
What she’d experienced in Zaccheo’s bed had given her a taste that was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. The need to hold on to that for just a little while longer slammed into her, knocking aside her good intentions.
Eva knew she was playing with volcanic fire, that the eventual eruption would be devastating. But for once in her life, she wanted to be selfish, to experience a few moments of unfettered abandon. She could have that.
She’d sacrificed herself for this marriage, but in doing so she’d also been handed a say in when it ended.
And it would be sooner rather than later, because she couldn’t stand in the way of what he wanted...what he’d been deprived of his whole life...a proper family of his own.
She also knew Zaccheo would want nothing to do with her once he knew the truth. Sure, he wasn’t as monstrous as he would have others believe, but that didn’t mean he would shackle himself to a wife who couldn’t give him what he wanted.
She squashed the voice that cautioned she was naively burying her head in the sand.
Was it really so wrong if she chose to do it just for a little while?
Could she not live in bliss for a few days? Gather whatever memories she could and hang on to them for when the going got tough?
‘Eva?’
‘I had a father-daughter moment, plus bridal nerves,’ she blurted. He raised a sceptical eyebrow and she smiled. ‘Every woman is entitled to have a moment. Mine was thirty seconds of hesitation.’