And yet the rare glimpses she’d caught of Rafael threatened that long-held belief. He was alluding to the fact that playboys could have hearts of gold. Raven wasn’t sure she was ready to handle that nugget of information.
For years, her mother had believed it—believed it still—and look where it’d got her. If she let Rafael in and he did a number on her, she wasn’t sure who she would hate more—Rafael...or herself.
‘You don’t have to turn into something else. All I ask is to see a little bit more, make my choice with a clear, if not total, view of the facts. Because I can’t have sex with you for the sake of it. I would hate myself and I would hate you.’
‘Ah, but we’re already having sex, mi amor. All that’s left is for our bodies to catch up.’
Of course, she could really have done without that thought in her head. Because, suddenly, it was all she could think about.
* * *
She walked beside Rafael along the long paddock an hour later, watching as he stopped at every single All-Star garage to greet and exchange info with the crew. From her stint as his physio last year, Raven knew just how meticulous a driver he was. He understood the minutiae of racing to the last detail and could probably recite the inner workings of a turbo engine in his sleep.
Which was why his accident, judged to be the result of human error—his—had stunned everyone. Some had speculated that it had been the effects of partying hard that had finally done him in. But, in the last few weeks, she’d caught occasional glimpses of the man underneath and knew Rafael de Cervantes wasn’t all gloss. He rarely drank more than a glass of champagne at any event and she knew he’d banned smoking in the paddock a few years back.
What she didn’t know was how deep the Rafael de Cervantes well ran, or how monstrous the demons were that chased him. It was clear he was haunted by something in his past. At first she’d thought it was his father. But even though that particular revelation had been painful to him, it had been when she’d mentioned his mother that the real pain had surfaced, just for a moment.
She glanced at him, a little overwhelmed by the many facets she had previously been too riled up to see. Rafael had traits she abhorred, traits that reminded her of the man whose DNA ran through her veins.
But he was also so much more.
‘I can hear you thinking again.’
‘Unfortunately, my active brain cells refuse to subside into bimbo mode just because I’m in your presence.’ She cast a telling glance at a groupie who’d just obtained an autograph and was squealing in delight as she ran to her friends.
‘You can wow me with your superior intelligence later,’ he said as they approached the last garage in the paddock.
The first thing she noticed was the age group of this particular crew. Aside from two older supervisors, everyone else ranged from early to late teens. The other thing that struck her was their synchronicity and clear pride in what they were doing.
When Rafael greeted them, they responded as if he were their supreme deity come to life. She wasn’t surprised by their reaction. What surprised her was Rafael’s almost bashful response as they gathered around him. Then it all disappeared as he started to speak. Started to teach.
They hung on his every word, and took turns asking him challenging questions, which he threw right back to them. Respect shone from their eyes and the depth of understanding he’d managed to impart in the space of the hour before the race started left Raven reeling.
‘Close your mouth, piqueña. You’ll catch flies,’ he quipped as he led her away from the garage towards the VIP Paddock Club.
Her mouth snapped shut. ‘That was incredible, the way you got them to listen, got them to apply knowledge they’d forgotten they had.’
‘They’re a talented bunch. And they love racing. All there is to learn is a respect for speed.’ He shrugged. ‘It wasn’t hard.’
‘No. You’re a natural teacher.’
‘I learned from the best.’
‘Marco?’
He shook his head and held the door open to let her into the lift that whisked them up to the top floor VIP lounge. From there they had a panoramic view over the entire race circuit.
Rafael bypassed several A-listers who’d paid thousands of euros to attend this exclusive event and led her into a private roped-off area. He held out a chair for her then sat down opposite her. ‘My father. He gave me my first go-kart when I was five. There’s nothing about engines that he doesn’t know. By the time I was nine, I could dismantle and reassemble a carburetor without assistance.’
‘I didn’t know your father raced.’