‘Doesn’t he need to do further tests?’
Samira dragged her eyes back to Tariq, wary at his lack of animation. Surely, when he had time to acclimatise...?
‘Yes, to make sure everything is normal. But the doctor was very reassuring and there’s no question I’m pregnant.’ She paused, savouring the words. They were an incantation of hope and joy. Her—a mother! ‘The doctor thinks I’m already well along.’
‘How is that possible?’ Tariq’s words sounded brusque. But then, he was still processing the news. No doubt he’d be beaming when it sank in.
‘I didn’t have any symptoms, except now I’ve started to put on weight. Not even any morning sickness.’ He didn’t say anything and she felt heat climb her cheeks.
Still Tariq didn’t say more, just stood watching her, his stance rigid. He was within touching distance but he hadn’t reached for her since he’d helped her sit.
Suddenly that tiny distance between them seemed telling.
He’d had time now to absorb her news. Wasn’t a father-to-be supposed to be pleased as well as surprised?
Tariq loved children. He was a family man through and through. Yet he watched her as if looking at a stranger.
Icy fingers played a fugue down Samira’s spine. Her smile frayed around the edges.
‘I realise it will mean some adjustments for Adil and Risay, to have a little brother or sister. But they’re young enough to adapt.’ Was that what bothered him? ‘I already love them both and I promise they’ll never be second best in my eyes.’
‘The more the merrier?’ Tariq’s shoulders rose as he dredged up a deep breath. ‘You were always up-front about your desire for children. Of course you’re thrilled.’
‘And you’re not?’ Looking up as he towered over her was giving her a crick in the neck. She stood up, hauling the edges of her shirt close together with stiff fingers.
‘You have to admit it’s...unexpected. You told me you couldn’t have children.’
He’d said that before. She blinked as her skin crawled. Something wasn’t right. Did he think she’d lied to him about being unable to conceive? Surely not.
* * *
Tariq looked down at those soft sherry eyes and saw hurt shimmer there. He hefted in another deep breath. He had to get hold of himself.
But from the moment Samira had said the word ‘baby’ he’d frozen inside. The world had decelerated into slow motion, a sense of unreality filling him.
He’d believed he’d never have to face this again. He swallowed, a bitter taint on his tongue. For an instant he’d almost been tempted to think Samira had tricked him into fatherhood, pretending to be infertile. Till his brain had switched on. This was Samira. Honest, up-front Samira. She’d never behave so dishonestly.
Tariq reached out and stroked the hair off Samira’s flushed cheek and she turned her head into his touch, sighing. With relief? He knew he hadn’t responded as she’d hoped.
‘It’s very exciting news,’ he managed at last. ‘The twins will be delighted to have another playmate too, I’m sure.’
‘You think so?’ Samira smiled, her eyes sparkling. She was lit from within, almost incandescent. Tariq shied from the memory of Jasmin with that same expectant glow. And the unavoidable recollection of her months later, parchment-white and still, so very still, beneath the neatly folded hospital sheet.
‘It’s a miracle and a little scary.’ Her hand reached out to grasp his. That was when he noticed she was trembling.
Instantly Tariq pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her slender shoulders. She leaned into him, hugging tight. How could he not have realised she’d be nervous as well as excited?
‘Miracles can be a little frightening.’ Tariq injected a smile into his voice. ‘But you’ll be in the best of hands, I promise.’ Ruthlessly he thrust aside the knowledge that the best hands hadn’t saved Jasmin. Samira didn’t need to hear that.
‘Thank you, Tariq. I know you’ll look after me.’ Her breath shuddered against his chest. She felt so fragile in his arms, so vulnerable. Reassuringly he tightened his hold, pretending to a certainty he was far from feeling. ‘It’s just...’
‘Just what?’
It took her a long time to reply. When she finally did, the words came in a rush. ‘I had a miscarriage four years ago.’
Her words stopped his voice. They all but stopped his heart.
He stepped back a fraction so he could look down into her face. The pain he saw there stabbed through him, slicing a furrow through his heart. She’d been pregnant?