But the reality was that we were best friends who fell apart in the worst way. This man had known me better than I’d known myself and, even after three years, he probably still did. We’d shared our lives together and while we could put that aside for a little bit, it was bound to come up again.
I wasn’t ready for that day.
So, I brushed it off. “Yeah, it was okay. Same old, same old.” Shrugging, I prepared to make my exit. “Well, I better get going. I need to get some homework done and swing by to see my mom.”
“How is she by the way?” he asked with concern, watching me sling my backpack over my shoulder as I stood.
“She’s . . .” How did I explain it? Just trying caused a pinch in my chest. “She’s okay. It’s still treatable, and we’re going to begin chemo and radiation soon.”
“I’m sorry, Ana.” He stood too and rested a hand on my shoulder. It was the first time we’d touched and it sent a blazing spark through my whole body. I couldn’t get my tongue to form words. Instead, I managed a tight-lipped smile and a quick nod.
“Listen, I enjoyed seeing you. Really enjoyed it.” His throat bobbed when he swallowed. “Can I give you my number? We can keep in touch. You know if you need any help with calculus. Or I do.” He laughed.
I nodded and pulled my phone out of my purse with shaking hands. This was more than a meet up to chat. He was asking to rekindle our friendship. I took a moment to assess the feelings rushing over me, trying to differentiate them. There was doubt and pain. But there was also hope and want. I wanted this.
He gave me his number and I sent him a message. “There. Now you have mine, too.” He smiled and saved my contact into his phone.
“Let’s do this again soon.” It wasn’t a question and the command held my eyes to his, allowing more than a suggestion to pass between us. It took all my willpower to divert my eyes and push back the memories of all the other commands he’d given me in the past.
“Ye-,” my throat caught on the word and I cleared it, trying again. “Yeah. That sounds good. I’ll see you around.”
I bolted and didn’t look back. But I didn’t need to. I could feel his eyes on me until I exited. It seemed all that time away hadn’t broken the connection we’d formed before, and it both excited and terrified me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kevin
Ana: I’m never going to make it through calculus. It’s a stupid course and I hate it.
Me: Well, maybe if you stop staring at me during class and start listening, it wouldn’t be so bad.
Ana: Ha. Ha.
Me: I don’t blame you. I’m gorgeous.
Ana: You’re something.
Me: What am I Ana? *Stroke* my ego.
Ana: You’re a riot.
Me: I’m here for you.
Me: We still on for dinner tomorrow night?
Ana: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Two weeks.
It took us two weeks before we fell back into our routine from high school. The only difference was that we didn’t live right next door to each other anymore. It started as text messages the weekend after the coffee shop. Simple messages talking about our day. Then it switched to phone calls where we would watch shows or movies together, laughing until she couldn’t stay awake any longer. Part of me wanted to ask her to stay on the phone and lay it on the pillow next to her. I missed the sound of her next to me. But I didn’t want to freak her out. Hell, I was a little weirded out by that desire. It bordered along the lines of being a creeper.
Most days we met for lunch, except for the ones she spent with Andrew. I hated the thought of them together, but we didn’t talk about it. Ana acted aloof about it and avoided the topic, so I followed her lead.
I tried to subtly ask Katelyn about Andrew since she knew him, but she only had nice things to say. Which annoyed me more. Why couldn’t he be a dick and I could justifiably dislike him, aside from being jealous of his time with Ana.
I had to stop asking questions, because Katelyn thought I was jealous and began hinting at having slept with him and asked if it would’ve bothered me. My negative answer disappointed her, and I knew it was time to officially break off any romantic connection we had. I didn’t want to lead her on and the closer we got to the end of the year, the more and more attention she sought from me. It was only fair to her.
With Katelyn, there was no jealousy. But with Ana, it burned brightly, even though I had to push it into a corner. I struggled on the nights she told me she couldn’t meet for dinner, or the nights she called later than usual because she’d just gotten home.