Holding Onto Forever

“Do you know what time her surgery is?”

“I don’t, but shit, Noah…”

“I know, Quinn. We have to think she’ll be okay. Better than ever when she gets out. I’ll be there after the game. Can you pick me up?”

“Yeah, of course. You gonna get into trouble?”

I sigh. “I have permission to miss practice if we win today.”

“You better win.”

“I will.” We hang up and I send a text to my dad, asking if I can use the private plane. It would be one thing if it were a jet, but considering the size of our family, the band opted for a full-size aircraft to haul us around when we’re all together. It’s a complete waste of airspace and fuel to cart one person. He, of course, says yes, saving me from having to depend on an airline to get me to Chicago quickly.

Kissing her though, while completely unplanned, is worth it. It’s been two years and some odd months since prom night. I was a nervous wreck while she was calm and collected. You would’ve thought I was the one about to lose my virginity, and part of me wishes I was, but I spent years fighting my attraction to her simply because our families wouldn’t approve.

But now I don’t care. I hate that it’s taken her accident and the threat of her dying for me to admit my true feelings for her. Surely, I’m not the first man to have a moment of clarity when he’s staring at the woman he’s loved for as long as he can remember. Those feelings for her, the ones I’ve buried deep down, hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw her in bed, barely hanging on. Waiting is no longer an option for me unless Peyton doesn’t feel the same way. If she tells me I’m crazy or we can never be together, I’ll tuck my tail between my legs and move on.

As luck would have it, Peyton was still sleeping when I arrived. I somehow encouraged the Powell-James family to take the nurses up on their offer and use their lounge to get some sleep because even she knew they weren’t leaving Peyton in this hospital by herself, especially under the circumstances and the likely soon-to-be lawsuit.

This time when I looked at her, I saw my future. I saw the woman I want to kiss after I win the Super Bowl, the one who will give me children, who will bear my name, lie next to me at night, listen to me complain about my aches and pains, and take every compliment I throw at her. I saw the woman who is going to keep me on my toes, call me out on my bullshit, and love me unconditionally. And I couldn’t wait to tell her.

Except spilling my guts the moment she woke up, was not going to get me very far. She was groggy and could barely keep her eyes open, but she knew I was there, waiting for her. And waiting for her is exactly what I’m doing.

“Here,” Harrison says, handing me a cup of coffee. “It’s from the corner coffee shop, not that nasty shit you and Quinn have been making everyone drink.”

I smile and thank him. “We didn’t want to leave the hospital.”

“I know. Me neither. But Ben’s here so I make him do all my errands.”

“When’s Elle going to come clean and tell everyone they’re dating?”

Harrison shrugs and motions for me to follow him. I glance into Peyton’s room, relieved to find she’s still sleeping. Katelyn is in there, reading to her, likely some sappy romance story about true love and second chances… a story about us more or less.

We sit down in the waiting room, where the television is on, but the sound is muted. I look quickly to see what’s on, hoping it’s ESPN, but it’s some home makeover show that is probably all the rage right now.

“I don’t think they’re dating.” Harrison takes a drink of his coffee and sighs. “Which is a shame because I really like the kid. And if they are, she’s hiding it really well.”

“From the outside, it looks obvious. I mean, he’s here, right? What friend would come spend time in the ICU of a hospital?”

“You,” Harrison points out. I want to respond with, “it’s because I love your daughter,” but I don’t.

“I think my relationship with Peyton is a bit beyond what Elle and Ben have going on. I’ve known Peyton since she was a baby.”

“True. So… what’s new?”

Nice change of subject, Harrison. “Not much. We won, but it won’t be enough for the playoffs.” I shrug. Harrison wasn’t really into my sports scene when I was growing up. Sure, he came to games, but I think most of that was because Elle was a cheerleader and Peyton was on the sidelines. I know things would be different if Mason were across from me. We’d probably talk sports to pass the time, but Harrison’s life is music.