Holding Onto Forever

“Your dad is really proud of you.”

“Thanks, his support means a lot.”

“I remember the day he came back from Beaumont. Hell, he didn’t even tell JD or I he was leaving, but he comes back with these songs and I’m thinking ‘this bastard went and fell in love.’ It was days before I got it out of him, but man once your dad started talking he didn’t shut up. Not about you or your mom.”

“Is that why you came to Beaumont?”

Harrison finishes off his coffee and sets the paper cup down on the table. “Your dad invited Quinn and I to spend the holidays there. He thought that if you met Quinn, he could help you understand the lives we lead. What it’s like to have your picture taken all the time or to have people follow your every move.”

“You fell in love with Katelyn that day.”

“Best damn day of my life.”

“Mine too,” I mutter. Quinn is one of my best friends and I can’t imagine not knowing him. Even if Harrison and Katelyn weren’t together, I’d know Quinn, but I don’t know if we’d be as close as we are.

“What do you know about this Zimmerman kid?”

I shake my head and wonder if I should tell him about the conversation I had with Kyle or not. “Not much. I think he came into the league either a year before or after me. I don’t really remember. Why?”

Harrison runs his hands down his legs. The dude is wearing shorts and it’s freaking cold outside. Thinking back, I think the only time I’ve ever seen him in pants was for my parents’ wedding. Even for Quinn and the twins’ graduation, he wore shorts.

“Lawyer thinks we should sue him.”

“Mira said no charges would be pressed, right?” I must’ve watched the news conference over and over again after I found out about it. I was shocked to find out the police weren’t pursuing charges against Zimmerman, but they were against the other driver. Deeper research brought me to a few articles stating the driver was speeding.

“Yeah the police said he’s not at fault, but–”

“But Peyton suffered.”

“Exactly. So what about you? How are things with…? I’m sorry, I’ve spaced on her name.”

“Dessie,” I say, shaking my head. “We’re not together anymore. It’s pretty damn complicated,” I tell him before he can ask why.

“Noah!” Elle comes in with Ben following behind. She gives me a hug, acting as if she hasn’t seen me in months.

Ben stops and motions to the bags he’s carrying. “Here, take one.” I do, and as soon as I open it, my stomach growls.

“Thanks, Ben.”

“No problem. It’s what I’m good for.”

Harrison grabs a bag and Ben sets the rest down on the small table. I watch as he takes a seat next to Elle and she leans into him. He kisses the top of her head and sighs and I find myself wondering again whether there’s something going on between them.

“What are you up to these days, Ben?”

“School and work,” he says.

“And being Elle’s personal slave?” I ask.

Elle slaps me in the arm and gives me a dirty look. I can joke like this with her, but I can’t with Peyton. I see them so differently. “That’s rude, Noah.”

“It’s the truth. Right Ben?”

Elle turns and looks at him. It’s mushy as shit. If they’re not dating, they’re messing around between the sheets.

“I don’t mind,” he says, looking deep into her eyes. The sight makes me want to gag, but honestly, I’m probably not much better when it comes to Peyton.

“Noah!” I stand as my aunt Katelyn comes toward me. “Thank you so much for sitting with Peyton. We really needed a couple of hours of shut-eye.”

“My pleasure.” And fully for my benefit. I was there when she opened her eyes. I got to kiss her, and I’m praying she remembers it when she wakes fully.

“The nurse is with her now. They’re going to try and wean her off the morphine a little, hoping she’ll stay awake longer. I don’t know though, I don’t want her in pain.”

“She’ll be fine,” Harrison says as he reaches for Katelyn. “She has her family to help and guide her.”

And me. She’ll have me because once the season’s over, I’m not leaving her side.

“Quinn said Xander is going to take over her treatment?”

Katelyn nods. “I’m not sure if Peyton realizes this or not, but she’ll be coming home with us when she’s discharged.”

Which means I’ll be living in Los Angeles during the off-season, hopefully somewhere near where the Powell-James live because I need to be close to Peyton. I don’t want to let her out of my sight, and if that means I have to work out with her everyday, so be it.

19

Peyton

When I wake, sunlight beams through my window. I’m having a hard time recalling whether the window was there before or if I’ve switched rooms. Either way, I lay my head back and stare into the rays, pretending I’m outside basking in their warmth. Wishing I were outside, free of these casts and the constant pain I’m feeling.