“Now that.” I point at them. “That’s the love you want in your life,” I say. Laughing, I turn to walk away and slam into someone. I know right away who it is; my body knows who it is. My heart definitely knows who it is. His hands grab my arms to make sure I don’t fall, and my hands go to his hips to steady myself. I swear all the laughing and talking stops as everyone watches this one moment. “I’m sorry,” I say to his chest, my eyes never looking up at him. He smells the same; no, he smells better than he did before. My body goes on high alert, and I drop my hands and step out of his reach, walking around him. My gaze never meeting his.
“Holy, fuck me.” I hear Jenna mumble next to me. “He’s …”
“An asshole,” I finish for her and walk to the table where the drinks are. “Are people still looking?” I ask, and she looks around. “No, but he is.”
“Fuck,” I mumble and blink away tears. “This was such a bad idea.”
“No,” Jenna says, grabbing her own sweet tea. “A bad idea would be you not coming.”
“This is true,” I say and avoid the eyes that I know are staring at me.
Chapter Ten
Ethan
I know it’s her the minute I start walking toward my grandparents. I’d know the sound of her laughter anywhere, and then I hear the words that cut me deep. “Now that, that’s the love you want in your life.”
She turns to walk away from them and runs smack into my chest. My hands reach out to make sure she doesn’t fall. Her hands go to my hips, and my whole body goes on alert. I get so tense that I’m afraid I’m going to hurt her arms. The chattering around us stops, and everyone is looking at us. I look down, seeing her face and hoping for one minute that she looks up at me, and I can see her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles as her hands fall from my waist. She walks away from me, and I can’t stop my eyes from following her. Her head stays down until she hits the drink table, and then Jenna turns around to glare at me. I swear if looks could kill, I would be ten feet under already.
“Don’t go there,” my grandfather says, and I look at him and my grandmother, who blinks away tears. “You don’t go there.” I look down and then up. “You need to fix yourself before you go there.” My grandmother walks away. “There are demons inside you, Ethan. You need to get them out before you take that step.”
“She’s engaged,” I say.
“Doesn’t mean shit,” he spits. “That man is not good enough for her. The only reason she probably took him was that he was another connection to you.”
“Emily wouldn’t do that,” I say, ready to argue with him.
“Not the same Emily you left behind,” my grandfather says, and all I can do is look back at the table. Only, she isn’t there. She’s hugging my mother and then moving around the yard, saying hello to everyone. She smiles as big as she can, but it’s as fake as can be. Not once do her eyes light up when she smiles. Not once do her eyes crinkle at the sides. I watch her from afar the whole time. I say hello to all the people I left behind. I say hello to my cousins, who are now grown. None of them say more than hey to me. Forget about Chelsea, Keith, and Toby—who don’t even come my way—and I’m not even going to mention Amelia and Travis, who pretend I don’t exist. My mother doesn’t leave my side for long, and when she does, it gives me a chance to breathe. I look around, seeing that Jacob is off to the far right with Kallie by his side the whole time as they sit at the table with Casey, Olivia, and Beau. None of them get up or come say hello to me.
“We should get a picture,” my mother says to Billy. “All the boys are here. We need a new one for the bar.” She calls Quinn over and asks him to go wrangle all the boys, and you can see that he’s uncomfortable.
“Why don’t we do it another time?” I say, and she looks at me. “All the kids are playing.”
She smiles and nods. “I’ll be back.” Turning, I walk away from the barbecue and make my way to the barn. I look around, seeing if I can spot Emily. I spot Jenna with Brett laughing with another couple. Walking away, I enter the barn, and then I hear her voice.
“You are so pretty,” she says. I watch her petting my horse, and it’s like she’s telling her all her secrets. “Oh, don’t you get all feisty on me.” She laughs at her as the horse huffs at her. “I snuck two apples and four sugar cubes.”