“Everyone dies, Corine Solomon. I did not know the manner of his passing. It is not given to me to see the future, but I did know he would come to me in time.”
That was a little better than the Christian version of this story, anyway. At least he hadn’t known what would happen to Chance, when he lay down with Min in the orchard all those years ago. I offered a watery smile, trying to seem resigned.
Instead of dead stubborn, which was what I’d always been.
“It must’ve been hard to leave them,” I said softly.
“Yes,” he admitted. “But all great deeds are done with purpose. I will summon Daikokuten. Please keep your conversation short, as my power is limited.” His friendly, open face grew wistful. “People do not visit the shrines as they once did.”
“I understand. I’ll be brief.”
What do I even say, I wondered. I can’t let on, even to Chance. No answers came to me; then my love was striding along the river, his steps quickening as he glimpsed me. He pushed into a run, and I met him. His arms came around me, and he buried his face in my hair. The wind blew, carrying the sweetness of blooming flowers and the gentle hint of mist from the river. It would’ve been perfect if I hadn’t known how the interlude ended. I breathed him in, trying to store up the memories for when he was lost to me for good, even in dreams.
You have to do this, I told myself. Otherwise, he’ll give the ruse away and Ebisu may keep you here, keep you from saving him.
“I missed you,” he whispered. “But I’ve got a lock on a solution. There’s a weak spot between the realms. I found out how my father passed into our world. There’s a particular festival when—”
I couldn’t let him continue. So I kissed him. He’d shut me up that way before, but it wasn’t a strategy I employed often. Fortunately, he fell into the kiss with a fierce hunger, tasting me as if I were a delectable treat he hadn’t enjoyed in months. I ran my fingers through his hair, traced down his neck and shoulders. My arms tightened around him compulsively; letting go might prove more than I could bear.
Then I said the words, praying he believed them, hoping he didn’t. “You can’t go down this road.”
He reacted as if I’d punched him. “Are you kidding? We can do this, I swear. I don’t have the same juice my father has because he’s stored it up from the years of reverences, but I have a little residual power from the shrines. I just need some help from your side, and I can come through. And unlike my father, I won’t leave again.”
Ebisu appeared beside us then, his face stern. “What he is not telling you, Corine Solomon, is that if he does this foolish thing, he yields all claim to immortality. He will be stripped of his power and become nothing more than a mortal man. No luck. No magick. No future.”
“No future, except the one I choose . . . with her,” Chance bit out, his eyes livid with rage. “I already told you once, I’m not staying. I don’t want to be a god. I don’t want to be worshipped. The whispers from the shrines are fucking creepy.”
“So you hear them.” Ebisu seemed pleased. “Good. Very good. Now then.” He turned to me. “It’s time for you to go . . . and you will not be welcome here again.”
I opened my mouth to convince Ebisu I’d lost my resolve, but somehow, what came out was: “I love you, Chance.”
Please let that be enough. Let him know I won’t stop until he’s back with me.
When I woke, I had tears streaming down my cheeks, burning salt in the corners of my eyes. I swiped my hands across my cheeks and rolled out of bed. It was ridiculously early, considering what time I’d gotten to sleep, but four-hour bursts had been the norm since I got back from Sheol. If I wasn’t dreaming of Chance, I had nightmares about what happened in the demon realm. Gods, I was a fucking mess.
Butch roused when I went into the kitchen to put on some coffee, so I let him out and he did his business in the backyard. His nails clicked on the patio as he came back inside to investigate his dish, which I took the hint and filled, then freshened up his water. I knelt to pet him.
I wondered if I was being selfish, so single-minded in my intentions. Ebisu had seemed so positive it was Chance’s destiny. Would he be better off becoming a god? Such an odd question. But then Barachiel was certain I was destined to help him rewrite the world, and he couldn’t be more wrong.
Maybe the dog has an opinion.
“What do you think? Should I let Chance go?” I asked Butch.
Obviously, I didn’t mean it. There wasn’t a force on earth that could get me to deviate from this goal. But he took me seriously. Instead of eating his breakfast, he trotted into the living room to nudge my purse. I took that to mean he wanted the Scrabble tiles, so I got them out, then plopped on the floor to watch him sort them with his paws. After a few minutes of arranging them, the message emerged:
chance doesnt want to be a god
“How do you know that?” I demanded. “You don’t see my dreams, do you?”
The dog huffed out a disgusted sigh, as if he couldn’t believe I’d ask that. “How am I supposed to know what you can do?” I muttered. “How, then?”
chance is dead i see ghosts
Aha. I did remember that Butch had warned us once via that same skill. So that meant . . . “You see Chance sometimes? He’s here. I just can’t see or hear him.”
That earned me the affirmative yap. “Do you talk to him much?” He cocked his head, and I rephrased. “Fine, do you hear him much?”
Affirmative yap. “Oh, wow. Can you pass his messages along to me?”
thats why im doing this
“Okay, go for it.”
he says please dont give up
That meant he hadn’t been sure what to make of my mixed messages. So he was reduced to begging the dog to keep me on track. Regardless of Ebisu’s convictions, only what Chance wanted mattered to me. I’d push on, no matter what.
“Is he here now?” I glanced around, wishing I could see the world through Butch’s eyes.
But I got the negatory yaps. Then Butch trotted off to eat his breakfast, which I took to mean the conversation was over, so I scooped up the Scrabble tiles and put them away. My head ached from the interrupted sleep. The dreams, possibly because they were incredibly vivid, didn’t offer the same restorative quality as REM ones. I suspected energy might literally be drawn from me to make such communication possible. Certainly I felt more exhausted than before I went to bed, and that wasn’t a good sign, given everything I needed to accomplish today.
I made scrambled eggs since I was already up and had the coffee brewing. By the time I put bread in the toaster, Chuch came into the kitchen, rumpled and in need of a shave. He looked tired too, no surprise there. Once again, I had dropped my problems in his lap and interrupted his peaceful life.
“Some night,” I said, serving him a plate.
“Thanks, prima. And yes, that was some crazy shit. Never had a dead demon in my yard before. That Barachiel, he’s got some moves.”
“Yeah, he’s gonna be a problem,” I predicted glumly.
“Eva said you’re looking for somebody who knows the land around here.”
“Let me guess, you have a cousin.”
Chuch laughed. “No. But there’s an old guy who likes to drink at La Rosa Negra. If he doesn’t know the rock formation in the picture, he’ll be able to tell you who does.”
“Do you mind if I take the Charger again?”
He narrowed dark eyes on me. “Don’t hit anything with it. No high-speed chases. Avoid bullets. And no explosions.”
Despite the lingering sorrow that tightened my chest, I mustered a smile threaded with genuine amusement. “I dunno if I can promise all that. You know how it goes.”
He leveled a stern look on me. “Then no Charger for you. I got a Pinto out back that runs.”
“You’re restoring a Pinto?” Incredulity sent my voice up an octave.
“Not so much. It was too good a deal to pass up, four hundred bucks.” His posture became defensive, and I wondered how Eva felt about his propensity for collecting crappy cars.
I muttered, “Yeah, but it’s a Pinto.”
Nonetheless, I took the keys when he tossed them to me from the peg on the kitchen wall. There were so many, it looked like a valet parking board. I nibbled a little breakfast with him; my stomach churned, not quite nausea, but a lurch. With some deep breathing, I kept my eggs down. I switched to dry toast while listening to the comforting morning noises: Eva was stirring down the hall, taking care of Cami. The baby giggled at something her mama did, and a warm, soft feeling permeated me. This, I thought. I want this.
A home was more than a place. It meant security, certainly, but it was also about the people who loved you. Without that, a house was only a building. Their love cemented my resolve. Maybe it would be better for him—better for the world—but I still wanted Chance back, no matter what his father said. He’d promised to build a life with me. I intended to hold him to it.
“You’re so lucky,” I told Chuch quietly.
He glanced up from his breakfast. “I know.”
“How did you meet Eva anyway? And did you know right away . . . ?” I wondered if the question was too personal.
The mechanic’s rough face softened. “I was on a job, years ago, in Nicaragua. She was hooked up with one of the lesser bosses.”
“She was a gun moll?” I asked, delighted.
Chuch flashed me a sour look. “I don’t think they still call them that. And yeah, I knew as soon as I saw her. She was wearing the hell out of this red dress, and I thought, ‘I’m gonna marry her.’ Two weeks later, I killed the guy she was dating, screwed over the Bolivar cartel, and we ran like hell.”
I had the feeling there was a whole lot of story he wasn’t telling me. “It was that easy?”
“That’s all you’re getting today. Don’t you have a mission to accomplish?”
“I’m taking the Pinto to the cantina, then. What time do they open?” See, I could take a hint.
Chuch grinned. “I don’t think they ever close.”
“Then what time does the old man start drinking? What’s his name anyway? And what does he look like?”
“People call him Beto, real name’s Roberto . . . something. He’s shorter than me. Less hair. More wrinkles. He always wears a straw cowboy hat.”
“That should be enough for me to spot him. Thanks.”
Before he could reply, Eva joined us with Cami on her hip. As she usually did, the baby clapped her hands when she saw me and then reached out. I took her gladly. “I’ll watch her for a few hours, if you have other things to do.”
The way Eva looked at me, you’d think I had offered to clean her whole house. “Thank you.”
“Uhm. No problem,” I said.
“You’ll understand when you have your own kids.” She made herself a plate and ate it uninterrupted while Cami pulled my hair and tried to steal my jewelry.