“Really?” I ask as he bags the goods.
He shrugs. “Just trying to look normal.”
“Are you a gourmand?”
He grins. “I like to eat.”
I can’t help but glance at the biceps stretching the arms of his suit jacket. “You don’t say.”
He places a hand on my arm to silence me as he listens to an announcement. “That’s us.”
I close my eyes. “Oh, thank God.”
“Come.” Taking my hand, he leads me to the boarding gate.
My scalp pricks with uneasiness. By now Maxime must know I’m on the run. It feels as if ants are marching down my spine, but ten minutes later, I’m seated in the plane. Russell puts my bag in the overhead storage compartment before sitting down next to me. Gripping the armrests, I stare through the window. I’m nervous about flying. Technically, this is my third flight, but Maxime drugged me during the first one—I don’t recall any of it—and during the second I was too preoccupied with my fate to worry about the plane dropping out of the air.
“It’s not my business,” Russell says, “but I’m going to ask anyway. Are you okay?”
I look at him. Am I? No. I doubt I’ll ever be. There are things I can’t un-live, feelings I can’t undo.
It takes some courage and strength to produce a smile. “Yes. I’m okay now.”
“Good.” He pats my hand. “Maybe try to get some sleep. You look like you need it.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep.” Ever again.
“I’m here to watch over you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“Thanks,” I say, meaning it like never before.
It’s not until we take off and the wheels fold under the plane that I relax somewhat. It’s only then that I let the emotions catch up with me. Loneliness when you’re single is unpleasant but hopeful. Loneliness when you love with all your heart and soul is like walking through fire. It burns yet leaves you cold. The cavity of my chest is hollow. Empty. Only the echoes of painful memories are left.
As the view of Marseille slowly shrinks, I say goodbye to Zoe Hart. When we break through the fluffy clouds, I close the door on the life that lies below.
It’s only then I allow myself to cry.
~ THE END ~