“I have to agree with you,” he replied. He looked at me then and I saw something in his eyes I’d never seen in his eyes before. I saw that he was really feeling something in his heart for me, something that I had felt for him since shortly after meeting him. He would deny it if I asked him, I knew that, but it was there. I wanted him to verbalize it, to tell me how he really felt, but I knew that was an impossibility. He was just too stubborn.
I would have to wait until he was ready. I was sure that eventually he would be worn down and even he would not be able to resist this thing we had going on. I wanted him to know how much I was falling for him, how I’d waited my whole life for something this majestic, this pure, and even though it had been born out of tragedy I couldn’t help but believe that it was actually meant to be.
I didn’t say any of those things. I wanted to say all those things, but no… it wouldn’t do right now. It was just too soon into this. I had to be patient. I had to wait for the right moment.
I wanted it now though. That was the thing. I wanted Bill to admit that this thing we had going on really meant something, that it meant as much to him as it did to me. I wanted him to admit that he felt these things as strongly as I did. I knew it wouldn’t happen for a long time, if it ever did, but I could hope and dream. Bill was strong. I just needed to be strong enough to wait for him to come around.
As I lay there with my eyes closed, waiting for sleep to find me, I realized that I might awaken to gunshots again. I realized this mostly because I started to doze off and I noticed that Bill was getting out of bed. I didn’t ask him where he was going or why he was putting on his clothes. I knew he was going to lie in wait for them. I wasn’t sure they would try the same tactic another night, but it was worth a shot to wait. Maybe we’d get lucky and they would really be that damn stupid.
I watched Bill walk out the door and then I closed my eyes. I hoped nothing would happen tonight.
And I prayed that Bill would remain safe.
***
“Hey, do you want breakfast?”
Bill’s voice.
I opened my eyes and there he was smiling at me with that warm, charming smile that only he can manage that way. It always lit up my world. I could watch it all day long, like a morning sunrise.
“Sure,” I said. “What time is it?”
“It’s almost seven.”
“Did you sleep?”
“I did a little bit,” he said. I could tell he was lying.
“Something smells good.”
“Pancakes with syrup.”
“Ah, my favorite.”
I started to roll off the bed when my phone rang. I picked it up to see who would be calling me at this early morning hour. It was a number I didn’t recognize.
“Telemarketer?” Bill asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I should answer anyway. Just in case. They never call this early.”
I answered. “Hello, how are we?”
A man’s voice.
“I’m sorry, who is this?”
“Ok, you want to get right into it and skip the pleasantries. I can understand that. You know who I am. Or rather you know what I’m capable of. You little bitch! I should have killed you before that little boyfriend of yours.”
I gasped. My heart caught in my throat. It couldn’t be… no way… shit…
I put the phone on speaker and held my finger to my lips. Bill grew very concerned. “What do you want?”
“You know what we want,” the voice said. “We want you to come to a specific location alone. If you don’t do that, your little friend here is a dead bitch.”
I heard the cries and squeals loudly on the phone just then. “Zion! Help!”
Chelsea. Oh, no…
“Chelsea!” I cried. Tears began to fall down my cheeks. I couldn’t handle this anymore. No. No… I just couldn’t stand it…
Bill put his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it softly. He mouthed “It will be ok.”
I had no idea how he might know that. I was so frightened. I felt like giving up and just giving myself to them. Then at least the nightmare would be over. I would at least be able to die peacefully knowing that the people I cared about were ok. And maybe I could use myself to catch these bastards, even if it did result in my death. It would all be so much easier. I could just let it go. I was so tired of fighting.
I knew that my mind was not in its right place right then. I was coming up with some crazy scenarios. I just had to keep holding on and believing in Bill. I trusted him. If he said it was going to be ok then I was inclined to believe him.