“I needed to know you were here with me.”
“What?” I whisper.
He leans back, his hand comes up to hold my cheek, and his thumb runs over my lips. “There are times you get this look in your eyes. It’s sad and unsure, and when I see it, my instinct is to pick you up and carry you away from whatever caused it.” His thumb sweeps over my lips again and his eyes search mine. “I hate that look, baby.”
Placing my forehead on his chest, I mutter, “I just don’t know how to feel right now.”
“That’s okay,” he says, rubbing his hands up and down my back, trying to comfort me. His touch helps some, but now that the seed has planted itself in my head about losing him, I don’t know what to do. “Let’s get you another glass of wine.”
“Yeah,” I agree, hopping down off the counter, watching him as he pulls a new bottle of wine from the fridge and opens it.
“Ready?”
Taking his hand I let him lead me back into the dining room, where everyone is quietly talking. Taking my seat next to Austin I wait for him to pour me another glass of wine then pick it up and taking a gulp, letting the cool liquid relax me.
Sitting quietly through the rest of dinner, my mind is consumed with worry. Worry that I may not be able to fight back whatever it is that’s making me feel like I want to cling to Austin, but push him away at the same time.
Chapter 14
Lea
Placing another batch of cookies on the cookie sheet in front of me, I look out the double doors to the deck and watch Austin as he talks on the phone to his mom. His feet up on the railing and a beer in his hand, which is resting on his stomach.
A week and a half ago, I closed on my office. Austin’s mom actually surprised me with an antique desk from one of the secondhand stores in town and she’s bringing me a truck full of office supplies from Anchorage over the weekend. She is making an effort to get to know me, and I’m doing the same with her, only cautiously.
I pull my eyes from Austin and place the cookies in the oven then take three off the plate, wrap them in a paper towel, and head out to the deck, handing two to Austin as I take a seat next to him. He mouths, Thank you, then pulls my feet up to rest over his thighs as he continues to talk to his mom.
“I know, Mom,” he mutters, taking a bite out of his cookie while looking annoyed. “Yeah, love you too. Later.” He pulls the phone away from his ear and sets it on the table next to him then shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth.
“Is everything okay?” I ask when he’s done chewing.
“Mom asked when we’re getting married,” he says simply, like he is telling me what color the sky is, and the bite I was taking of my cookie flies out of my mouth as I practically shout, “What?!”
“She says it’s inevitable, so we may as well stop wasting time and just get it over with.”
“Get it over with?” I repeat in shock feeling my mouth fall open.
“Those were her words,” he says, looking out at the water that is turning a beautiful color coral as the sun begins to set below the island off to the side of the house. “I agree with her.” His gaze comes back to me and locks on mine as his face softens.
“You agree with her,” I repeat, because I’m at a complete loss for words.
“I’ve been in love with you for almost eighteen years. I think it’s safe to say that isn’t going to change.”
Okay, so he has a point. My feelings for him never changed; well, they grew and expanded into something different, but I’m still in love with him, even more so now than I was back then. But marriage?
“We already live together,” he states, making me frown, causing him to shake his head. “You’ve been with me every day. You haven’t slept without me unless I’m on the boat, even then you’re still here. We live together.”
“Okay, we live together,” I mutter. I mean, I know that, kind of. My clothes are in his closet, but we never talked about it. It just kind of happened.
“You don’t want to get married?” he asks as his eyes search my face.
“No,” I say, and anger fills his eyes. My face softens and I move from my chair, climbing onto his lap and straddling him. “I want to marry you, no one else,” I explain softly, pushing my fingers through his hair.
“Damn right, only me,” he grunts, grabbing my ass and pulling me tighter against him, making me smile.
“We still have stuff we haven’t talked about,” I say, worried as I watch pain slice through his features.
He shakes his head like he’s getting rid of whatever put that look in his eyes, then murmurs, “We have years, Lea. As long as we’re together, nothing else matters.” He leans in and places a soft kiss on my mouth then holds my face gently in his hands. “Now, tell me you’ll be my wife.”
“Is that really how you’re going to ask me to marry you? You’re going to tell me what to say?” I laugh, leaning my forehead against his.
“Whatever works.” He smiles, then his eyes go soft and he pulls my forehead away from his. “Lea Lamb, will you marry me?”
Tears sting my nose and I squeeze my eyes closed briefly before opening them back up and meeting his gaze. “I have always been yours, Wolf, so the answer is yes.”
“We’re gonna be happy, Little Lamb.” His hands wrap around my jaw and he tugs gently, bringing my mouth to his, nipping my bottom lip then the top one before wrapping his hand around my hair and tilting my head to the side, deepening the kiss.
“What are you doing?” I squeak, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and legs around his hips as he picks me up.
“Taking you to bed,” he mutters, carrying me upstairs to the bedroom, where he makes love to me
gently before tucking me into his side and falling asleep.
“Austin,” I whimper, pressing my heels into the mattress and lifting my core farther into his mouth as he devours me. I woke up moments ago, with his face between my legs.
“Fuck my face, Lea,” he growls, adding one finger then two, pressing them deep inside me, then curling up and hitting my g-spot.
“I’m going to come,” I moan as my head tilts back and my legs close around his ears, trapping his mouth and fingers in place as an orgasm rocks through my body almost unexpectedly, sending me off to the stars. I come back to myself as he thrusts, planting himself deep, I wrap my legs around him, rocking my hips forward, trying to get him to move. As I tangle my hands in his hair, his head bends forward, pulling one nipple into his mouth, stealing a moan from my throat as his hands slide around my back, lifting my ass higher.
“Please move,” I whimper, using the heels of my feet on the back of his thighs to rock up and down his length. “Yes!” I cry as he slides out then slams deep over and over, hitting something deep inside me. His mouth moves to mine as his hand slides up, cupping my breasts, then down over my stomach so his thumb can roll over my clit.
His pace picks up, his thrusts become jerky, and then his mouth moves to my nipple, pulling hard, sending a zing to my core, and another orgasm rocks through me, this one bigger than the first. My limbs tighten as my core convulses around him, pulling him deeper as he groans his orgasm into the skin of my throat.
“Morning.” He smiles, lifting his head. His eyes are soft and there is a new brightness in them that puts me at ease.
“Morning.” I smile back, feeling my eyes begin to slide closed.
“Sleep, baby,” he chuckles, kissing me as he pulls out. Then the bed dips and I hear the shower turn on as I fall back asleep.
“I’m heading out.”
“Love you.” I snuggle deeper under the covers, feeling him kiss me once more.
“Love you, baby. See you in forty-eight hours.” That thought makes me pout. His laugh hits my ears and I open my eyes to glare at him. “I’ll be home before you know it.” Settling my hand on his beard covered cheek, his head turns and he kisses my palm then pulls his fist out of the bed, muttering, “Be good.”