The Coaching Hours (How to Date a Douchebag 4) - Page 58

Rex the Moron, AKA my baby’s godfather, is holding my daughter, parading her around the party like The Lion King, stopping every time a hot girl croons in their direction. “He’s using Lilly to pick up women. How are you okay with this?”

My girlfriend snorts. “Pfft, it’s harmless, and you have to admit, it’s working. He already has a date for Saturday night.”

She says that like it’s a good thing.

“Would you please go take the baby from him? She’s not a pimp.”

Anabelle gives me a sidelong glance. “Did you just compare our precious daughter to a street pimp?”

“Babies and puppies are the best marketing ploys. He obviously knows this.” I nod absentmindedly, staring off toward Gunderson and Lilly. “Give it a few weeks, he’ll find a way to get ahold of a puppy, too.”

“Probably.” Anabelle shrugs with a laugh. “But he is an amazing babysitter.”

“No comment.”

But the little fucker is. I hate acknowledging it, but it’s true. Gunderson is always there when we need him, especially if I can’t be home to help. Like a slowly thawing iceberg, I’m warming up to him.

Slowly.

Like the berg that dropped the Titanic—really, really fucking slowly.

“Just look how cute she is in her pretty little dress.”

She does look cute, and Lilly is a tiny, pink spitting-image replica of me, which pisses Rex off, so I guess that makes things even between him and I.

“I should go grab her anyway. I bet she’s getting hungry.”

Eye roll from Anabelle. “Lilly is not hungry—I fed her right before we got here.”

“But she’s sucking on his shirt sleeve.” Even I know that’s a stretch.

“Would you relax? She’s teething. Stop dreaming up reasons to take her away from Rex.”

“But…”

Anabelle slides up to me, stepping into my arms, pulling them around her waist. My hands slide over her hips, and I stand ramrod straight, letting her tease me.

“Know what would make you less crabby?”

“What?” My ears perk up.

“If we watch television tonight.”

“Television?” We’re always watching TV, how does that make—

Oohhhhh. Now I get it. Television television.

Sex.

“How soon can we leave?”

She kisses the tip of my nose. “We can’t. Zeke and Violet haven’t gotten here yet.”

“So?” I pout. “We’ve been decorating for this party an entire three days. I did my time.”

“Elliot, we can’t leave their engagement party before they arrive because you’re horny and can’t wait to get laid!”

“Why? Zeke won’t give a shit.”

“Trust me, he’ll notice if you’re not here.”

Dammit, she’s right. He will notice. That dude notices everything. He might be broody and quiet, but my old roommate is freakishly observant.

And this is his engagement party, the one he is throwing for his fiancée, Violet. He enlisted our help, and we’ve been planning for the past few months so he could surprise her.

Romantic bastard.

He makes us all look bad.

“If you think this party is elaborate, just wait until their wedding,” Anabelle gushes. “He told me he wants her to have the best of everything.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s nauseating.”

“You talk so smart.” She kisses the underside of my chin. “But you’d do the same thing for me.”

I would.

I would give her the world if I could.

And I’m going to spend the rest of my life protecting my girls from douchebags, or die trying.

“Now can we go grab Lilly?”

Anabelle glances over at our group of friends, grinning from ear to ear. Rex holds Lilly in her frilly party dress, and they’re dancing to the music the small band is playing, spinning in little circles. Both of them giggle as everyone coos and awws at the cute baby.

And Rex.

For fuck’s sake.

Fortunately, my girlfriend is immune to his antics. “You want to go dance with your daughter, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I admit begrudgingly.

“Then why are we still standing here? Let’s go get her.”

And we do, together. Hand in hand, we cross the yard, my long stride confident as I scoop Lilly out of Gunderson’s arms.

Planting a kiss on her rosy cheeks, I swing her around. Pull Anabelle in by the waist and kiss her, too.

“I love you,” I croon into her ear, right below the spot that drives her crazy for me.

I love her. When we’re done with school, I’m going to propose and make her my wife.

And I can’t fucking wait.

Tags: Sara Ney How to Date a Douchebag Romance
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