I took a deep breath and let the air escape my lungs. “Damien.”
His eyes narrowed like he knew what was coming.
“This is the man I love…”
He cringed like it was painful to hear, disgusting. “No. He gives you good sex. That’s it.”
I stilled at the crass comment because I’d never heard my brother talk like that.
“You can get good dick anywhere, Catalina. Don’t fall for his macho bullshit. Don’t fall for the bad boy turned good routine. Because they never turn good. Ever.”
“Well, this one has, Damien. He’s proved it to you.”
“No.” He stepped closer to me. “He’s only playing nice because I have something he wants—and I won’t give it to him.”
“Have something he wants?” My eyes narrowed. “I better not be that something, Damien. Because you don’t have me.”
“When Dad is gone, I’m the man of this family. So, yes—”
“Fuck you. I’m glad I won’t have your last name when I get married.”
“You’ll never have his last name, that’s for damn sure.” Now he raised his voice, now he lost his temper, now his green eyes were vicious like mine.
“Damien.” I stomped my foot. “This is how bitter you are? This is who you really want to be? Because you’re being a fucking asshole.”
“I’d rather be an asshole than a murderer.”
I sighed at the insult.
Damien dragged his hand down his cheek to his chin, like he was calming himself after screaming at me. He looked away, stared at my kitchen for a few minutes, and then cleared his throat and looked back at me. “I don’t want us to be like this. That man has caused enough turmoil in our family. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree.”
I didn’t just want Heath because I couldn’t have him. I wanted him because it felt right, because he made me happy. “Damien…please.”
“No.”
“How would you feel if I told you I would never like Anna? The woman you love? The only woman you’ve ever loved? What if I said I didn’t like the fact that she’s already been married twice? What if I said I didn’t like the fact that she caused danger to our family because of her ex-husband?”
His eyes narrowed. “Not the same thing at all.”
“But what if I felt that way? What if I refused to get along with the woman you’re in love with?”
He stared me down.
“It would kill you. So, imagine how I feel right now.”
“You know what kills me?” he whispered. “Walking up to you with my fiancée, holding her hand while I look at the man who took her from her hospital room, the man who broke through my window, which resulted in her being shot in the first place. You forced me to stand there, with them just feet apart, and not shoot him in the fucking face.”
“Heath would never hurt Anna—”
“But he already did. My job as her husband is to protect her. But I have to stand there like a goddamn joke.”
“She’s not afraid of him.”
“How do you know how she feels?” he snapped.
“Because Anna would want me to be happy.”
His wide eyes shone with ferocity. “There are a million guys out there, Catalina. And you’re so beautiful that you could have anyone you want. Just find someone else. It’s that simple.”
“How would you feel if I told you the same thing?”
“Well, I’m marrying her, so there is no one else for me.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “And I might like to marry Heath…someday.”
He shook his head slightly, showing how much that irritated him. “You’re smarter than this, Catalina. Even if you two are Romeo and Juliet, the infatuation and lust aren’t worth your demise.”
“Damien, it’s not infatuation and lust—”
“It must be because you would never love someone who’s hurt your family.” He came closer to me, starting to yell again. “I refuse to believe you would be that disloyal, so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is a really potent hit of lust. You want to fuck him? Fine. Fuck him and move on.”
“I told you I loved him—and I meant it.”
He stepped back, rubbing the back of his head. “I can’t believe you’re going to do this. I can’t believe you’re going to hurt your family like this—for a guy. Come on, look at yourself.” He raised both hands at me. “I’ve never had a poorer opinion of you than I do right now.”
That hurt—so fucking bad. My eyes immediately watered. “Don’t say that to me…”
“That’s how I really feel, Catalina. I’ve always been proud of you as my sister because you’re strong, fierce, independent, and so fucking smart that I’m pretty sure you’re smarter than me…and this is who you want to be with? It’s like a princess wanting to be with the assassin that tried to murder the king—her father. It’s like you’re brainwashed or something.”