The world turned quiet, and the heartache in my chest died away when we were together. With every thrust, I got lost deeper, swept away by the comfort of our connection, my mind turned off completely so I could just feel…feel her.
With my forehead pressed to hers, I moved into her slowly, pushed my cock all the way inside before I pulled it out again, getting coated in her cream and come. It felt so good to be with her, like there’d been no time spent apart, like I’d never lost her.
Like she’d always been mine.
She clung to me just the way she used to, her nails enthusiastic, her hold demanding. Her pussy was soaked, like I could fuck her over and over and she would never run dry.
I thrust into her a final few times, feeling myself reach my threshold once again, making me fill every inch of her with another load. How could I ever be with someone else when this was who I was supposed to be with?
Fuck, I talked like a pussy.
I pulled out of her and rolled over, slick with sweat, satisfied, and so damn happy. I closed my eyes and lay there, feeling the peace settle into my soul, the fear and sadness disappearing like the setting sun.
Then she got out of bed.
She walked to her clothes and started to put them on.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. “What are you doing?”
She clasped her bra then pulled her sweater over her head. “I have to go…”
I was so shocked by what she’d said that all I could do was stare at her.
She pulled on her jeans—and walked out.
What the fuck just happened?
I jumped out of bed and went after her. “Stay until morning.” It was the dead of the night. I didn’t even know what time it was, but it was sometime between midnight and sunrise.
“I can’t…” She reached the stairs and began to descend.
I grabbed her by the elbow and tugged her back. “Why are you treating me like a booty call?”
She turned back to me, her eyes guarded, like she didn’t even want to look at me.
My eyes narrowed further.
“I missed you…and I caved. I just wanted to be with you.”
Why was I so fucking stupid? “And you didn’t consider my feelings at all?” This separation was hard for me too, but I didn’t storm into her bedroom in the middle of the night and drop all my clothes.
She lowered her eyes. “I-I won’t do it again. I just didn’t want to go out and pick up some random guy, not when you’re the one I want.”
That was the last thing I wanted. “So, you’re just going to come by whenever you feel like it?”
“I don’t have to.”
“No…it’s fine.” I was too weak to say no. I was too weak to deny the only woman I wanted.
“I can’t sleep over. That’s just too much.”
Straight down to business, then.
“No kiss goodbye…”
Purely physical.
“It’s just hard to quit cold turkey, you know?”
I had hoped she’d changed her mind, that she’d realized she couldn’t live without me. But now, she just wanted to use me, because I gave her good dick. It didn’t make me feel good, but I didn’t have the strength to deny her.
“No talking.”
I stared at her.
“If that’s okay with you…” She watched me hesitantly, like I might say no.
I stared at her like she wasn’t mine, instead the ghost of the woman who used to belong to me. She was still gone, and now I had to let go of her slowly…little by little.
“Because it doesn’t have to be.”
I knew it was a bad idea. It was smarter just to push through it. But I also hoped the cycle would start over again, that we would sleep together, but the sex would turn into something more. I might get everything I wanted…or get hurt even more. “I’d rather have some of you than none of you at all.”TenCatalinaMy dad was used to seeing me at least once a week, but since I was too depressed to even leave the house, I never showed my face. I didn’t want to go to Damien’s at all, didn’t want to interact with another human, plaster a smile on my face.
I’d gone to Heath’s because I couldn’t stand the loneliness anymore. Just wanted the pain to stop—just for a few hours—so I could take a full breath and get some relief. But then I had to leave, and that was hard.
It was hard not to sleep beside him.
Hard not to talk to him.
Hard not to tell him I loved him.
It was a bad idea and I’d expected Heath to throw me out on my ass, but he didn’t. He agreed, even though it seemed like he didn’t want to. He wanted me to change my mind, to go against the wishes of my family and choose him instead.