It’s refreshing and terrifying. Half an hour in her company and I’m already beginning to thaw. Beginning to wonder if I’m a normal, breathing human under the layer of ice after all. And that makes this girl very dangerous. When tomorrow comes and I have to leave her behind, I could be left in this new state of living, but she won’t be here to nurture it.
I should take her home now, before I sink too deep, but…
It’s already happened.
And I can’t allow someone else to be her first time. No, I would rather fucking die. Thoughts of it would plague me for the rest of my life. Who was the lucky man? Did he give her enough romance? Did she cry out?
My grip tightens on the car door until it creaks, searing jealousy ripping through my gut.
No. It will have to be me. She’ll spread her thighs for the devil or no one else.
But for the first time in a long, long time, I don’t have a plan. I don’t know exactly what I will be doing one moment to the next. What even is romance? How do I make it happen? She claims it’s about knowing the person you’re with, but I have totally lost sight of myself…and I have no idea what she’ll discover.
“Where are we going?” Scout asks, beside me.
“I own a restaurant downtown. I’ve texted the manager to let him know we’re coming.”
“Oh.” Once again, she tugs on the hem of her dress, wetting her lips nervously. “Am I dressed right?”
My hand curls into a fist to prevent me from reaching for her. To fuck her on the seat and end the torture. Jesus, the moonlight loves her. Filtering in through the car window and bathing the slopes of her tits. Tits I’m all too aware feel indecently ripe in my hands. Ripe and young. “We’ll eat on the roof,” I say roughly. “No one is going to see you but me.”
She tucks her hair behind one ear. “Okay.”
Why am I speaking to this innocent girl so harshly? It’s not her fault I’m a depraved criminal who has forgotten how to have a normal conversation. I clear my throat. “You mentioned you love science. Does your job involve something scientific?”
“It will someday.” She sneaks me a glance. “When I graduate college.”
Jesus Christ. “And how long until that happens?”
“Well…it depends.” She folds her hands in her lap. “I should have another year left to complete my degree in physics, but it’s complicated.”
“Why?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Now I’d really like to know.” When she says nothing, I unhook her seatbelt and pull her across the back seat into my lap, tipping up her chin. “Out with it, cutie.”
She shifts on my cock and I grit my teeth. “It’s kind of embarrassing, you know? My sister, Whitney, is two years younger than me. But she’s been scrambling to pay for as much of my tuition as possible. So I won’t be stuck with a ton of loans. My father is a gambler, you see, and there was never a college fund…”
“Whitney is who you were sitting with tonight?”
“Yes.” She presses her hands to her chest. “She’s probably so worried about me right now. I love my sister. She’s my best friend.” Her exhale is sharp, a little annoyed. “That’s why I couldn’t let her marry Banner.”
“Banner? The fighter who competed tonight?”
She nods. “He’s always wanted Whitney and if he wins tonight, he gets to keep her. My father traded his own daughter to pay off his loans. Banner agreed to pay my college tuition, too, if Whitney married him. But I couldn’t let her consider marrying that awful man just so I could be debt free. I won’t let my sister be miserable on my behalf.” She presses her lips together. “That’s why she seduced the Russian. So he would compete harder. You wouldn’t happen to know if he beat Banner tonight, do you?”
“I’ll find out,” I say, kind of dazed by the avalanche of information. “If Banner won, he won’t be paying your tuition, Scout. I know that much.”
“Oh.” She looks puzzled. “Why?”
“Do you think I’d let another man pay your bills?” I nearly shout.
“I didn’t think about it. We’ve only just met.”
“Well, I wouldn’t,” I say with calm I don’t feel. “Consider them paid.”
She sputters for a moment. “No. Really?”
I incline my head.
Still she’s skeptical. “No.”
“Yes.”
Thoughts whir behind her eyes. “How much money do you have?”
Who knows? I don’t even check anymore. I just keep adding to it. “A fuck ton. And it’s just sitting there collecting dust, so you’ll take it and get your physics degree. Are we clear?”
Her brows knit together. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why is it just sitting there collecting dust?”
I open my mouth and close it, searching my mind for the answer. “There’s nothing worthwhile to spend it on.” A beat passes. “Usually, anyway.”