“Haven’t been in that world in a long time. Not sure I know what is considered average anymore.”
Yeah.
That was me inviting even more conversation.
The wonders would never fucking cease.
“I worked in a bank. Made enough to pay my bills, have a little spending money, but I wouldn’t say I was worry-free. I was always one idiot light on my dashboard away from not having a savings. But it worked out mostly. I spent my days in the bank, then usually hit the grocery store, ran errands, watched some TV in my free time.”
“No friends? Family? Boyfriend?”
“I had coworkers who were like distant friends. We’d go out sometimes. I was raised by a single mom. She passed three years ago. I didn’t really have any other family. Maybe some distant aunts or cousins somewhere, but no one I ever really knew growing up, so it seemed weird to try to forge bonds just because we shared some strands of DNA.”
“Fair enough.” And, still, I pressed. “No boyfriend?”
“Not for a while, no.”
“No hobbies?”
“I know it is lame to admit this, but no. Do you have any hobbies? What?” she asked when my gaze fell, clearly not wanting to answer the question .”You can tell me. It’s not like I have anyone to tell,” she added, shrugging.
“Make soap.”
“Wait… that soap bar in the bathroom? You made that?”
“Yeah. Could just get a pack of natural soap when I hit town, but I have a lot of goats. They produce more milk than I need. I didn’t want it to go to waste. So I figured out how to make soap out of it.”
“It’s the best soap I’ve ever used,” she told me, and I found it almost hard to believe the sincerity in her tone. With the boatloads of chemical-laden shit that most women have in their showers and under their sinks, it was hard to imagine mine stacked up, let alone surpassed. “Can I make a suggestion, though?”
My stomach tensed a bit, but my head nodded. “Sure.”
“Maybe consider replacing the rosemary next time? It’s not bad, but it can be a little overwhelmingly strong on the skin after. You could try mint. Or lemon verbena if you grow any of that. Rose petal or chamomile might be nice too. Sorry,” she said, shaking her head at herself. “I’m getting carried away.”
“Don’t have anything like that, but Finn can bring some seeds. You can help with the next batch if you want.”
I absolutely shouldn’t have been offering her that. Making the soap, at first, had just been an experiment, to see if I could put the milk to good use. But, over time, it had become a way to unwind, something almost meditative. And here I was, inviting her to join in.
“You can even dry the mint and lemon and chamomile to make herbal tea. I mean, not that you really drink tea. You could sell it at a farmer’s market though. I mean… you probably don’t need the money. It’s just a good way to make sure it doesn’t go to waste is all.”
She was right.
I didn’t need the money.
Quin charged his clients exorbitant amounts to clean up their messes. And when one of the crew members was needed for a task – negotiation, being a middle man, tracking, hacking, and lately… even executing – they got a big chunk of what Quin got from the client. I didn’t take many cases on, but when they did come my way, they often stayed for quite a spell. And I got paid for that inconvenience. Well.
So while I didn’t work as often as most of the others, I made more per client when I did work. And since I didn’t exactly pay rent or utilities, my biggest expenses were feeding the animals and stocking up the pantry when it ran low.
I had an almost obscene amount of money in my account. From Quin. From my life before. You didn’t exactly spend a lot of your money from the government when you were on deployment for almost the entire length of your career.
It was all sitting there, some of it in checking, some in savings, gaining a meager interest. For if I ever needed it. For what, I wasn’t sure. Quin provided health insurance I didn’t use, but it was there if I ever sliced off a limb or some shit. Retirement? I would lose my shit sitting in a La-Z-Boy watching TV while my body withered away.
But it was there.
I didn’t need more.
That said, I liked her enthusiasm over the idea.
“We’ll see what kind of harvest we have,” I told her. “Then we can decide how to use it after,” I added, watching as a slow, sweet smile spread on her face, stealing away the sad for one too-short moment.
And I realized in that moment, that I would do whatever it took to get more of those smiles.