“How does a guy who looks like you not have any condoms?” I blurt when he opens the door to get in behind the wheel, and he pauses with his hand on the steering wheel, his eyes on mine. I hold my breath, because he doesn’t look happy about my question. Actually, he looks annoyed by it. “Sorry, I don’t even know why I asked…. I mean, I do know why, but I shouldn’t have asked it,” I ramble, shifting in my seat.
Without responding, he gets in, slams the door then turns over the engine, and backs out of the yard. When he pulls onto the main road, I watch his jaw twitch before he glances at me quickly. “Since I’ve been back in Tennessee, I’ve been focused on my business, not getting laid.” His knuckles turn white as he holds the steering wheel. “Even before that though, I was never about hooking up with random women. It’s never been my style to fuck without there being some kind of connection.”
Nausea turns my stomach, and my hands ball into fists. I really didn’t want to know that. It makes me feel like what we have isn’t actually special; it’s just a part of who he is, which isn’t surprising, given what I know of him.
“What we have is different, so don’t try to use that information to build your walls back up and push me away. You asked the question, Mia. I’m just giving you honesty,” he growls.
“Okay,” I agree quietly.
“Hell, if you knew even half of what I’m thinking when it comes to you, you’d be jumping from my truck.”
“You don’t know that,” I defend myself.
He glances at me, raising a brow. “It took you weeks to agree to go out with me. You ready for me to start talking about the future?” I chew the inside of my cheek instead of responding with no, and he mutters, “Thought so.”
Silence settles between us, and my jaw clenches as I try to fight back the tears filling my eyes. I wish I wasn’t so messed up, but the truth is I’ve always found a reason to escape every relationship I’ve been in. I found something wrong with every man I’ve dated to make it easier for me to walk away before I get in too deep. Before I end up hurt. I’ve also never felt what I’m feeling now or wanted anything more than I want this.
“Most of the men I’ve known have cheated, lied, and walked away without so much as a backward glance.” My throat aches as I swallow. “My dad taught me at an early age that I was easy to forget, so I always leave before I get left,” I admit to him as he pulls into an angled parking space in front of a small café in the middle of town. “I want to believe this is real; it’s just hard for me to.”
“You won’t find out this is real if you have one foot out the door, baby.” He takes my hand.
“You’re right.” I take a shaky breath. “You’ve been so sweet, and I’m a mess. You don’t deserve my drama.”
“Come here.” He unlatches my seatbelt then lifts me with ease over the console between us and settles me on his lap.
“See? Even now, you’re being nice,” I cry, and he chuckles. “It’s not funny, Talon. I’m trying to warn you that I’m crazy.”
“I like your crazy.” He sifts his fingers through the hair at the side of my head, and his expression softens. “The men you’ve known have been idiots, babe. I won’t ever make it easy for you to walk away or allow you to push me away without a fight.”
My chin wobbles, and I drop my forehead to his collarbone to hide the tears filling my eyes. I should feel embarrassed about breaking down in front of him, but all I feel is relieved, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that he knows some of my fears.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, leaning away from him when my tears have subsided, and his expression softens as he runs the pad of his finger under my eyes to swipe away the tears that are still wet on my cheeks.
“You don’t have to be sorry.” His eyes roam my face then his fingers skim my jaw. “My dad always told me that everything good in life is earned not given, Mia, and I plan on earning every part of you, even your trust.”
“Oh God, I’m going to cry again,” I whisper as my throat burns with a fresh wave of tears.
“No more crying, you need to eat something.”
“Stop being sweet and making me want to cry,” I demand.
“All right, I’ll stop.”
“Liar,” I mumble, and he smiles then leans forward to brush his mouth against mine before asking softly, “We good now?” I nod, and his eyes warm. “Good.”