Love by Design

She glanced over at him. “What was the first?”

“The night I left town.”

“Why did you leave, Logan? Really?”

He expelled a tortured breath. “My father laid on the emotional blackmail pretty thick. He wanted me to start learning the ropes so that eventually I could take over. I had big plans to step outside of the path my parents had chosen for me and to do my own thing, be my own person, but that went up in smoke. After the boyfriend debacle, it was easier to tell myself you’d be better off without me.”

“Why would you think that? Sure, I was mad at you, but we’d gotten past that. Why did you even think it was still an issue? Especially after our last night together? Besides, have you seen Michael these days?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well I have, and trust me, you did me a favor. It never would’ve worked out for Michael and me long-term. We were totally different people.”

“That may be true, but I still shouldn’t have hindered things. I told myself that it was for your own good. There was a connection between us, Koty. A strong one. I didn’t want anyone to ruin that.”

“So you decided to ruin it first? Do you have any idea what your desertion did to me, Logan? I was devastated.”

He ran a hand over his face. “I never wanted to hurt you, but I suddenly found myself unable to be around you,” he finally admitted. “Not without telling you how I truly felt. I liked you, Dakota. Much more than a best friend should, but I’d convinced myself you’d never feel the same. And when we kissed, I told myself you’d think it was just a goodbye kiss, but it was so much more—at least on my end.”

Dakota went still. There was so much to process, and it was overwhelming. He had feelings for me. Years ago, that was all she had wanted to hear. Often Dakota would lie awake at night, wanting, praying and waiting for those words. Now he had said them, and she had no idea how to feel about it. She stared at him with such regret. “I can’t believe that you…you were a bigger jerk back then than Michael ever was.”

“I know.”

“Not once did it occur to you to ask me how I felt? Why didn’t you talk to me, Logan? You’re supposed to be my best friend, you’re supposed to be able to tell me anything, and you just assumed that I’d never reciprocate your feelings—even after you kissed me and asked me to wait for you?”

“I admit it, I messed up. I went about things all wrong.”

“I did care about you, Logan, and I’d have done anything to hear those words in return. Then you left, and my life changed forever.”

When she stopped, he leaned forward. “How? Talk to me, Koty. I know you’re holding something back—I can feel it.”

She stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry, I came here to tell you everything, but now that I’m here, it’s too much. I…I can’t do this.”

She grabbed her purse and raced to the door. He was off the couch in an instant. Logan blocked her path. He held his hands out to calm her.

“Koty, wait. Please don’t leave—not like this. Whatever it is, let me help you.”

“You can’t.”

“You’re too upset to drive. Please, just wait for a bit. I’m not going to pressure you to talk about anything. We can sit here in absolute silence if that’s what it takes. I just don’t want you getting into a car when you’re this emotional, okay? Whatever it is, we’ll fix it, I promise.”

“You can’t fix it. Nobody can fix it,” she cried. “I wish to God I could go back to that night and stop it.”

“Stop what?”

She was shaking with pent-up grief. Finally, it bubbled over like a geyser. “My mom and dad…Logan…they’re dead.”

Shocked, Logan’s hands dropped to his sides. He just stood there. “What? No.”

She nodded. “We stopped at a convenience store. Mom wanted to bake something, but for the life of me, I don’t remember what. She asked me to go in, but I was on the phone and didn’t want to, so she went instead. Moments later, there was a commotion. Two guys were trying to rob the store. They had rounded up the customers and stood them against a back wall. It all happened so fast. Dad told me to stay in the car and call the police. While I was doing that, he…he told me he loved me, and to sit tight. Before I knew it, he’d run into the store. I screamed for him to come back, but he didn’t stop. He wrestled one guy to the ground and tried to get to my mom, but the man shot him. That’s when Mom screamed and ran over to help my dad, but it was too late. He was gone. She—she was in such a rage, she charged the one that shot Dad and he—that bastard killed her, too.”