Love by Design

“Oh, my God. And you saw it happen?”

Tears streamed down Dakota’s face as she recounted the grisly scene and the horrific aftermath.

“Yes. By then I heard police sirens. They ran out of the store. They didn’t see me, but I saw them. They were apprehended a short distance away. Several of the witnesses and I testified at their trials.”

“You testified?”

“Damned right I did. They were repeat offenders, and I swore I’d be there to make sure they answered for what they did to my family,” she said forcefully. “My parents would not die in vain while their killers roamed the streets destroying other families. I was at trial every single day. When they were found guilty of murder in the second degree and sentenced to life in prison without parole, I went into the courthouse bathroom and cried.”

* * *

The thought of Dakota facing down the violent men who killed her parents made Logan’s blood run cold. He took her in his arms. “Koty, I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know.”

“There were so many times I wished you were here,” she cried. “There were some days when the pain was so great, I thought it would crush me. Even though the robbers were never getting out, I hated the fact that my parents were dead, while the monsters who took their lives were still here living…breathing…pumping iron in the yard. I know I’m supposed to forgive, but they didn’t deserve to die like that. What’s wrong can never be made right again, and I’ll live the rest of my life knowing that my mother’s death is on my hands.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. Dakota, you can’t blame yourself for this. The guys who held up that convenience store were the ones who set this horrible tragedy in motion, not you.”

She wrenched herself out of his arms. “I should’ve been in there, not out in the car on the phone. I was too stupid and selfish to do the one thing my mother asked of me, and she paid for it—with her life. My father, too. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish they were here with me—instead of me.”

Logan’s jaw tightened. “Dakota.”

“I wish I could take back what happened, to make amends for the part I played in their deaths, but I can’t. And the pain never goes away. It’s here with me every day. Sometimes, it’s all I can do to get out of bed. Even now, years later, to open my eyes and face the day without them is bad enough without every birthday, anniversary and freaking holiday being a constant reminder of what I don’t have anymore—and never will.”

Logan wrapped her in his arms again and held her as though life depended on their connection. That’s when her self-control slipped completely away and she cried and cried. He picked her up, and sat down on the couch with her still in his arms. He held her until there were no tears left, only empty shudders.

“I’m so sorry, Koty. I should’ve been here for you. I wasn’t—when you needed me the most.” Logan’s voice shook. “I’ll never be able to make that right.”

“I hated you so much back then.” She sniffed. “I hated you for leaving, for not coming back, for not knowing that my parents died. For not being there for the funeral, or any of the days in between.”

“Why didn’t Aunt Jeannie or anyone call me? I would’ve been here no matter what was going on,” he said vehemently.

“I asked her not to.”

He set her back so he could see her face. “Why?”

“Because I needed to be angry at you. I wasn’t ready to let it go. Deep in my heart, I knew that if I made you the bad guy, that it would make me feel better about myself. About what I’d done.”

“You didn’t do anything. Listen to me. It was a random act of violence that no one could’ve predicted. You were just a teenager when it happened. Nobody blames you, and it’s time you quit blaming yourself.”

Silent, Dakota turned away from him.

He got up and went to the bathroom. When he returned, Logan was carrying a damp washcloth.

“Sit back and close your eyes.”

She did as he asked, and he placed the cool cloth over her face.

“I must look a fright.”

“You look beautiful.”

She moved the cloth so that she could see him. “You’re lying, but thank you—for being here.”

Logan caressed her face, wiping the tears away with his thumb. He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

A small smile crept up her cheeks. “Well, you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“And I’m not going anywhere, Dakota. I promise.”