Enigma is on her way out the door to go to a Tennis Club do. She and the girls kept playing tennis until well into their sixties, but then they decided it was getting too hard to hear what someone was saying if you were right down the other end of the court and trying to have a chat, so why not forget the tennis part and just go to ‘interesting’ functions instead.
Today they’re seeing some woman speaking about her autobiography, which describes growing up on an Italian vineyard, or something foreign like that. It doesn’t sound especially amusing to Enigma. Her own autobiography would be far more intriguing.
She has made an appointment to have her hair done at the hairdresser’s in Glass Bay beforehand, just in case the vineyard woman writer is really a cover-up and Mike Munro is going to appear on the stage and say into the microphone, ‘Enigma McNabb, this is your life!’ and shine the spotlight on her. For the last few years she has been convinced she is going to be on This is your Life any day now. After all, she’s the Munro Baby! She’s an Australian celebrity. It would make a very good, inspiring episode. There have been far less interesting celebrities on the show. It’s getting a bit stressful, though, wondering when they’ll surprise her, and making sure she always looks her best.
The phone rings and she nearly doesn’t bother answering it, but she does just in case it’s a journalist or something who wants to do a profile on her.
It turns out that it’s Veronika, who does want to write a book about the Munro Baby Mystery, but that’s hardly the same thing as a journalist, because it’s just Veronika; and also she’s far too intent on actually solving the mystery, which is, of course, problematic.
‘I was just on my way out, pet,’ says Enigma impatiently.
‘OK, Grandma, but can you just tell me when you’re free so I can come over and hypnotise you?’ asks Veronika.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Well, I realised the other day that it’s very likely you have repressed traumatic memories which could be brought to the surface under hypnosis. I could probably solve the Munro Mystery just like that.’
There is a clicking sound as if she has snapped her fingers.
Well, for heaven’s sake!
‘I’m not going under hypnosis, thank you very much. I don’t want to go under anything. I have high blood-pressure! It could be extremely dangerous for my health. Anyway, what makes you think you can hypnotise me? What do you know about it?’
‘I’ve read up on it. It seems like a piece of cake to me. It’s perfectly safe, Grandma, and who knows what could come out.’
‘No, thank you very much indeed. I don’t like the sound of that at all. And don’t you secretly try to hypnotise me when I’m not looking, or I’ll be very cross with you! I have to go now, Veronika. You can come and interview me with your tape recorder, but that’s it!’
There is silence and Enigma immediately gets suspicious. ‘You’re not hypnotising me now, are you?’
‘No, Grandma, I was just thinking. OK, don’t worry, it doesn’t matter. I’ve got another idea.’
Sophie has Grace, Callum and the baby over to her new house for lunch on her balcony. She spent hours agonising over what food to serve, looking through Connie’s old recipe books, and finally just played it safe and bought some mushroom soup and crusty bread from the takeaway section of Connie’s Café.
It’s a beautiful day and her guests seemed happy enough with their soup. Now she is serving them Belgian chocolate and Grand Marnier, her own area of expertise.
‘Do you believe in public or private education, Sophie?’ asks Grace.
Sophie has noticed Grace has the oddest habit of suddenly focusing her attention on Sophie and asking her opinion about a subject seemingly unrelated to anything they’ve been talking about. She listens carefully to Sophie’s answer but then doesn’t seem to want to proffer her own opinion on the matter, changing the subject or immediately moving on to something new. It makes Sophie feel like she’s attending an ongoing job interview.
‘Why is that on your mind? Are you thinking about enrolling Jake in school?’ Sophie tries to make it more like a normal conversation.
‘Oh, I’m just interested in whether you have any philosophical views on the subject,’ says Grace, and Sophie notices Callum, who is holding Jake, giving his wife a gentle puzzled look.
‘Well, I guess it depends on the child,’ says Sophie. ‘I think you should find the right school for your child’s personality and ability, the one which will be the right environment for them. I think too many parents pick schools as if they’re ordering a certain brand of child.’
‘Exactly!’ says Callum. ‘That’s exactly what I think. Some kids thrive in big, competitive schools with lots of activities, and others need a smaller, friendlier school with more one-on-one attention.’
They both look at Grace expectantly but she doesn’t say anything, just nods her head in a satisfied way and looks back out at the water.
Sophie stands up to go and put the coffee on and Callum’s mobile phone begins to ring. ‘Hello? Oh, right, yeah, hi, just a sec.’ He hands the baby over to Sophie without asking and walks off to the other end of the veranda to take the call.
‘It looks like a stressful phone call.’ Sophie watches Callum gesticulating.
‘It’s the builder,’ says Grace. ‘I could tell by the way his voice dropped an octave when he took the call. The house is taking much longer than they promised.’
‘I hear they always do.’
‘Hmmm.’ Grace’s thoughts appear to drift off. She is very difficult to talk to at times.
‘Oh, look, Jake,’ says Sophie to the baby. ‘Here’s our kookaburra arrived for a visit.’
‘He’s got a friend with him,’ comments Grace.
They watch the two kookaburras in silence for a few seconds.
‘Umm, what are they doing?’ Sophie turns her head on one side.
‘Are they fighting?’ Grace also turns her head on one side.
‘Oh!’ says Sophie suddenly.
‘Aha,’ says Grace.
The kookaburras are having furious, p**n ographic sex on the balcony railing. Sophie puts a hand over Jake’s eyes and Grace starts to giggle helplessly in a way Sophie has never heard before. It’s contagious and soon they are both laughing that silly, adolescent, stomach-hurting laughter you can only share with another girl. Sophie has always thought that the first time you get the hysterical giggles with a new female friend is like the first time you sleep with a boyfriend; it takes your relationship to a new, more intimate level.