So if Zack decides to send me home on the next bus, I resolve to be at peace with it. I’ll thank him for a lovely drive, assure him there are no hard feelings, and hope we can part ways as friends.
I’m about to break my vow of silence to tell him so when he says, “If we did try… If we decided that this is something that makes sense for both of us, I wouldn’t want to sign that paperwork.”
The record playing in my head screeches to a stop, leaving stunned, buzzing silence behind.
“What did you say?” I ask, certain I must have misheard him.
He flicks on the right turn signal, pulls onto the wide shoulder of the highway, and shifts the car into park. He shuts off the engine and turns to me, his soulful brown eyes meeting mine. “If we decide to try to get pregnant, I won’t sign paperwork giving up my rights. I’d want to be a part of the baby’s life.”
I blink faster, joy and disbelief slapping each other silly inside me as I stammer, “R-Right. Of course. Yes, that would be fine. Wonderful, even! Babies need fathers.” I wave a shaky hand through the air. “I mean, I never had one, and I guess I turned out okay, but I hear they’re good to have around.”
Zack’s lips stay pressed into a tight line, making it clear he’s not joking about anything right now, making my head spin so hard I’d need to sit down if I weren’t already.
“My mom wasn’t even sure who my father was,” he says softly. “When I was younger, it bothered me. I wanted to know so badly. For a long time, it felt like a piece of me was missing.”
I nod. “I get it. It hurt so much that my dad wanted nothing to do with me. I mean, I know I was an accident, and he never wanted children, so it wasn’t personal, but still…”
“Exactly.” Zack reaches out, and I take his hand, the feel of his fingers threading through mine comforting and tingle-inducing at the same time. “I swore I’d never do that to a kid. If there’s a child out there in the world who belongs to me, he or she is going to know it. They’ll know they’re mine and that they’re loved and wanted and supported every step of the way.”
Tears spring to my eyes, and my throat goes so tight all I can do is nod again in complete agreement with every word he just said.
God, this man…
He’s even more incredible than I thought he was.
“So if we decide to try,” he continues, “then I’d want us to work out a shared custody agreement that works for both us and the baby. But I haven’t decided if I’m fully on board yet. I need some more time to think it over. It’s a big decision.”
Swiping a tear from my cheek with my free hand, I rush to assure him. “Of course. It’s huge. Take as much time as you need,” I say with a breathy laugh. “I honestly can’t believe you’re even going to think about it. It’s so totally out there.” I wince. “And now I can’t believe I said that out loud. I never know when to stop talking.”
Zack smiles. “I like people who say what they’re thinking. And I’m considering it because I want kids. I always have. But touring makes it hard to find someone to date, let alone keep a relationship going, and I don’t see that part of my life changing anytime soon.” He arches a brow. “Unless the album I’m about to make crashes and burns. Then I might be around a lot. So that’s something you should consider, whether you’d want a co-parent who was up in your business all the time.”
“So far, I like you in my business,” I murmur, skimming my nails up his wrist to his forearm. “Honestly, I’d like you even more up in my business at your earliest convenience. I’ve been thinking about it pretty much constantly since we got in the car.”
He smiles, a broad grin that makes my stomach flip. “Me, too. You are so sexy in that dress…” He lets out a shaky sigh. “I’m afraid if I look at you too long, I’m going to have to drag you into the back seat, high school style.”
“Well, it’s a big back seat,” I tease. “And parts of high school were fun.”
He laughs. “I think we’re both mature enough to wait for a bed and a closed door, don’t you? As much fun as it is to get caught making out by the cops…”
I wrinkle my nose. “No, that isn’t fun at all. Or janitors. My boyfriend and I got caught kissing in just about every closet in my high school.”