And realizing that I’d probably never feel his thickness in me again made me sob incoherently. My soul felt ripped into two. Was it true? Would I never dance for Mr. Lyons again, wriggling on that hard thickness? Would I never feel his mouth on my breasts, sucking deep?
Like a woman in a trance, I did the only thing that would make me feel better. Lifting the dirty leotard to my lips, I licked the crotch, sampling his wet cum. The white globs were jelly-like and tantalizing. Inhaling, my eyes closed, savoring the taste on my tongue. Because this is my ambrosia. This is what gets me up in the morning, and I’d never have it again.
Stop! screamed the voice in my head. Stop Kitty! You’ve gone insane!
But out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because if I was never going to see Luke again, then I wanted to make the most out of this secret opportunity. Scrunching up that dirty material into a fist-sized ball, my leg lifted in a graceful split, the extension beautiful, and I rubbed that wet fabric against my cunt. Oh yeah, my hole pulsed hungrily. This was absolutely the right thing to do.
And with slow, trembling fingers, I inserted the soft material into my pussy, stuffing my hole tight. His hot jism electrified my frame, making me shudder, and delirious with pleasure, I gasped aloud.
Luke, Luke, the name rang in my mind. Take me, Luke.
And just like that, my body exploded into shudders. My folds clamped down quick, dissolving into tremors as I screamed aloud, letting out the pain that seared my soul. Oh god, I’d been used, and yet all I wanted was more of the big man. All I wanted was to be taken again, to feel him in me, dancing on that thickness for his eyes only.
But it was all over. I was no different from the Natalies, Lucys and Marys that’d come before me. There was nothing to set me apart: not my amazing ballet moves nor my scintillating personality. I was just the flavor of the month and as my sweetness spasmed hard, the tears started to flow for real. Yes, I was coming and crying at the same time, emotions rushing through my soul so fast and furious that I doubled over, both from pain and ecstasy.
But a hard rap sounded on the door then.
“Kitty?” came an annoyed voice. “Kitty? We’re waiting for you.”
Immediately my mouth snapped shut, choking off my cries.
“Be right out!” I called. “Just give me a sec!”
Scrambling, I forced my body to be calm. It was impossible with the dirty leotard stuck inside, but I yanked it out and scrambled into a fresh one, staring at myself in the mirror. Luke’s scent was all over me still, that musky, masculine aroma that was all his. But smoothing my hair back into a prim bun, I set my lips into a grim twist. This wasn’t going to be easy, not by a long shot. The path before me was unclear, dark, and overshadowed with misery because I’d done nothing wrong except to love … and although my heart was broken, I wanted Mr. Lyons still.
6
Kitty
I didn’t go to Luke’s apartment last night, instead choosing to stay in my tiny rented apartment. I’d left a message with Mr. Lyons’s secretary, and gave an excuse about having to sort things out with my roomie. It was the truth because as soon as the front door closed, Sarah was on me, appearing in the kitchen doorway.
“Where have you been?” the blonde demanded, her nose in a scrunch. The scrawny girl was some random girl that I found off Craigslist. She was a student at a nearby school, although I have no idea what she studies. “You haven’t paid your half of the bills,” came her accusatory glare.
I nodded hastily, reaching into my bag.
“I’m sorry. Here, is this enough?” I mumbled, head down, holding out a fistful of cash. “Practice has been really killing me and I’ve been sleeping at the studio because it’s easier that way.”
Sarah gasped at the bills in my hand.
“Where’d you get all that?” she eyed the money suspiciously. “That’s way more than what we need.”
Because in my clenched fist, I was holding a rolled ball of hundreds. Oh shit. Hastily, I put my hand back in my purse and tried to count them discreetly. Three hundred. Four hundred. Five, six, … Wait, two thousand dollars? Luke has been giving me money over the last month, but I’d never stopped to see how much it was. And now in my hand, I held a pretty penny in greenbacks.
I lifted my head, staring back at Sarah.
“Sorry, I thought I forgot to pay rent too,” came my excuse. “That’s why I have so much on hand.”