Her pause was pregnant with so many unspoken words, it made my heart lurch.
“Listen, are you free for lunch maybe?”
“Today? Yeah. Of course. Why?” I asked.
“I was, uh, maybe hoping we could get together and talk? You know, face-to-face?”
Her voice kept wavering. Her voice always wavered when she was nervous. I shot up from my chair and started gathering my things, my cell phone propped against my shoulder.
“Sure. Of course. Where would you like to meet?” I asked.
“Wanna go to Gianno’s again?”
“Fine by me. I’m not too far from there. Are we meeting up now, or…?”
“I mean, yeah. Sure. If you’re free. If you’re not, that’s fine. Just tell me when.”
“I’m free. I’m free now. I’m leaving my office.”
“You’re working?”
There was a fear in her voice I couldn’t place. Or maybe it wasn’t fear. Maybe it was hesitancy?
“It’s nothing. I didn’t have anything to do with my Saturday, so I came in to knock some things off my list. It wasn’t a mandatory work day or anything,” I said.
“Oh. Okay.”
Was that relief I heard in her voice?
“I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah. See you soon. I’m just dropping Brody off with my parents.”
“That’s good. I bet he’ll like that.”
“He always does.”
I wondered if Brody would enjoy being dropped off with my parents, but I shook the thought away before it had a chance to blossom.
“Okay. Leaving the office now. See you soon.”
“See you soon, Tyler.”
I hung up the phone and drove faster than I ever had in my life. In the back of my mind, I knew what this was about. What I didn’t know was which direction the conversation would go.
The plan Brandon and I set had forth was only if she didn’t call me this weekend to talk, and the mere fact that she had reached out gave me some comfort. But it also made me nervous.
I sped down the road and whipped around corners, blazing through yellow lights and keeping my eye out for police officers. I pulled into Gianno’s and parked beside Ana’s car before I jogged into the restaurant.
“Tyler!”
She called out my name from the back, and I furrowed my brow. She had us a table by the kitchen. It was an odd place for us to sit. I walked over to her and sat down, taking in the nervousness behind her eyes.
“I went ahead and ordered. Get whatever you want,” she said.
I placed my usual order and got a cup of coffee. I hadn’t been able to sleep the past couple nights, and something told me I’d need the energy for this conversation. Ana looked around the room, her eyes never quite falling on me, and it wasn’t until I reached out for her hand that she graced me with her stare.
“There you are,” I said.
But as quickly as I grabbed her hand, she pulled it away.
“So, how’s work going today?” she asked.
“It’s going fine. Nothing that can’t wait until Monday, though.”
“You make it a habit of working on Saturdays?”
“No. Just woke up with nothing to do.”
She nodded as our salads were sat in front of us. She unfolded her silverware and fumbled with her fork, her hand trembling. I hated seeing her this way. I wish she’d simply spit it out and get it over for the both of us. I didn’t want our entire lunch to be this way. I still wanted to enjoy seeing her. My heart sped up the longer she just played with her food, never eating more than a bite or two.
“Ana, you aren’t eating.”
“Just waiting on my eggplant parmesan.”
“You always douse your salad in oil and vinegar,” I said.
“What, are you critiquing my every move?” she bit out.
“No. I’m merely observing that something’s on your mind. Something you wanted to see me about so we could talk.”
She sighed and dropped her fork, then pulled her napkin from her lap. She dabbed at her mouth even though she hadn’t taken a bite, her mind completely on autopilot. She was rehearsing her speech. She always did that whenever she had something she needed to say to someone.
I needed her to spit it out already.
“I have something to tell you, and I have no idea how you’re going to react,” she said.
“I’m all ears whenever you’re ready.”
Our main courses were put down in front of us, but they were ignored. My eyes locked on Ana’s face as she drew in a deep breath. Her eyes fell to her lap.
“I want to start out by saying that I’m sorry. At the time, I thought I was making the right decision.”
“Ana, say it,” I said.
“You remember the other day? When you met my son?”
“Yes. I remember when I met Brody.”
“He’s not just my son, Tyler.”
“Whose son is he, Ana?”
Tears welled in her eyes, and it felt like a knife had been plunged into my heart. Despite how much I had prepared myself for this conversation, I was nowhere near ready to hear it. I sat back in my chair as Ana’s face wrinkled up, tears streaming down her reddening cheeks.