“Run! Run! Go home! Come on! Ruuuuuun!”
We got to our feet the second the man slid toward the home plate. We yelled and cried out as I put my son on my shoulders. The ball went out of the park and two other players came running home, bumping chests and clapping as their score ticked up.
The Dodgers had won, and Brody was ecstatic.
“They won, Daddy! They won the game!”
My body froze at that word again as he climbed down from my shoulders. He stood and jumped up and down, clapping and hollering along with the rest of the crowd. And I stood there, watching my son have the time of his life.
Daddy.
I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to the title.
My son threw his arms around me, and I picked him up. His smile was massive, stuffed in the crook of my neck. I rubbed his back as he yawned while the crowd dispersed around us. The game was over, the sun had set, and our first official baseball game as father and son had come to a close.
“Thank you so much, Dad.”
Tears rose to my eyes as I grabbed the jacket Ana had sent him with.
“You’re so welcome, Son. I’m glad you had fun,” I said.
“Are we going home now?”
I drew in a deep breath as I scaled the stadium steps.
“I’m taking you home, yes.”
“When will you stay?”
My heart ached at his question as I made my way to the exit.
“I’ll figure it out soon. Okay?” I asked.
He yawned. “Okay.”
Brody didn’t even make it back to his house before he fell asleep. I dropped him off with Ana, and the entire ride back to my house was filled with that one question.
When will you stay?
I had no idea how to answer that question, and my fear was that I never would be able to.
Ana
“Aunt Kristi, the game was awesome. The Dodgers won by, like, three runs. And they kept sliding into the plates and getting all dirty. I ate a pretzel and a hot dog and drank an entire slushy all by myself.”
“Sounds like you had a good time, kiddo,” she said.
“I got to scream really loud and clap a lot. And Daddy put me on his shoulders.”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“Daddy put me on his shoulders, Mom. It was awesome. I was really high up.”
That word hit me like a ton of bricks. He was already calling Tyler Daddy?
Why did that bother me?
“What else did you do?” Kristi asked as she cast me a weird look.
“We got ice cream, but we got it before all the other food. Mom doesn’t let me do that, so that was really awesome. Daddy’s the best. And I got to see lots of home runs. Those guys were really strong. I kind of want to try to play baseball now. I think I’m going to ask Daddy if he’ll teach me.”
I listened to Brody ramble on about his time with Tyler, and it made me ache. It felt like I had been replaced. I had never heard Brody talk about me that way. He was becoming the fun parent and I was becoming the mean parent, the one who disciplined while Tyler got to spoil him. I didn’t like that dynamic. I didn’t like feeling replaced.
“Well, it sounds like you had an awesome time with your dad,” Kristi said.
“I want to see him again soon. I hope he calls. I’ve been waiting for him to call.”
“Why don’t you call him?”
“I can do that?”
“Sure. I’m sure if you ask your mom, she’ll let you call him.”
“Mom?”
“Yes, sweetheart?” I asked.
“Can I call Dad?”
“I think he’s at work right now, but we’ll try after he gets off work, okay?” I asked.
Kristi narrowed her eyes at me, but I ignored her look. However, calling Tyler did sound like a good idea. It had been a couple weeks since his mother was admitted into the hospital, and I figured I should check on him and see how he was doing.
After all, I was supposed to be fighting for him.
“Kristi, can you watch the register for a second? I’ll be right back,” I said.
“Don’t take too long. We’re about to hit our rush hour.”
“I know. I’ll only be a second.”
I dipped into the stockroom and pulled out my phone. I dialed Tyler’s number as I leaned against the wall, preparing myself for a brief and clipped conversation. I knew he didn’t want to talk with me and that I was the last person he wanted to hear from.
But maybe if he knew how concerned I was about his mother, he’d talk with me a little bit.
“Yep?”
I furrowed my brow at the way he picked up the phone.
“Tyler, hey. It’s Ana.”
“I know,” he said.
“Oh. Well, um…” I was already bothered by the way he had started the conversation.