He nods. “I didn’t when it happened, but she came to me a few years ago. She told me that she’d made a grave mistake. She thought you were in love with her,” he utters, and a gasp comes from the doorway. My gaze lands on Rukaiya who’s clearly overheard the whole conversation.
She turns and races from the door, and I don’t bother responding to my father. Instead, I follow my little wolf all the way to the bedroom we slept in earlier. When I reach the door, she slams it in my face with a loud thud.
“Little wolf,” I call through the thick wooden door, knowing full well she can hear me. The silence that greets me is stifling. “Listen to me, we need to sit down and talk. There are so many things that I need to tell you, and I’d rather you hear them from me.”
When she doesn’t answer, I lean against the door, my back flush with the wood, and I wait. Sliding down to my ass, I settle down for as long as it takes for her to open this fucking door and listen to me. This is ridiculous. She can’t be angry for what I did in the past, even though it was pretty shitty.
“I never knew what I was doing,” I sigh. “Well, I take that back, I was a stupid, horny sixteen-year-old boy who wanted to get his rocks off. And I guess it was my mistake. I thought I was cool at the time. I was with an older woman. The stupidity of a sixteen-year-old. Right?”
Another bout of silence is my only response. I lean my head back and close my eyes, my legs stretched out in front of me as I smile up at the ceiling. I knew it was going to be more difficult for her to accept than it was for Tarian. He’s grown up knowing what a fuck up I am.
“You know, over the past year or so, I thought I would never need to sit down with someone and tell them why I am like I am. But within the few days that have passed, I’ve had to explain myself to one of my best friends. Tarian was so angry with me that I wasn’t sure we’d ever get back to the point of talking. And I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for what I did.”
“Why?” Her voice comes through to me like a beacon in the night. That’s exactly what she’s been. I’ve merely been going through the motions over the past few years, wandering about, fucking anything that looked at me the right way. But when I met her a year ago, I couldn’t stop thinking about the blonde beauty with the tattoos and piercings. She’s not like any other girl in Tynewood, or any girl I’ve been with before, or any girl who’s thrown themselves at me.
“Think about it, if that was your mother, or father, who Dahlia had been with… How would it make you feel?” I pull out the joint I rolled this morning, holding it between my index and thumb. I want to light it, but I also need to keep a clear head if she opens this door. I have a feeling it may be my last opportunity to set the record straight.
Music suddenly drifts up the staircase to the second floor where I’m seated, and I can’t help chuckling at Ares’s choice of music at a time like this. ‘Demons’ by Jacob Lee streams up to us and fills the silent halls with a deep, haunting melody.
“I guess it sucks,” Rukaiya speaks through the doorway, her voice is calming to my otherwise tense muscles. “I just… I never needed anyone before. And you scare me,” she admits, and I’m on my feet, leaning my forehead on the door, and my palms flat against the cool wooden surface.
“How do I scare you, little wolf?” My voice is husky, and my body is needy for her, but it’s my chest that aches, it’s my heart that reminds me I’m falling for her. Perhaps I already have, and I just won’t admit it to myself.
“I don’t believe in fairytales,” she tells me. “I don’t believe in good men or saviors.” I have to agree with her there, but I don’t speak, I wait for her to voice her concerns before I say anything. “And then there’s you, Etienne.” I want to respond when she sighs, but I force myself to listen. “You barged into my life and you’ve turned me into a stupid teenage girl with a crush. Which means that I’m reckless enough to think that you could be mine. I mean… it feels like when you aren’t here—or when I was at Thane’s house—it’s as if I’m lost.”
“And that scares you?” Now I’m slightly confused because she’s not making sense at all. I thought I made it clear I wanted her, that she was mine, is mine.