“You didn’t want to come with me, dammit. I wanted you here. I wanted you to be a part of my life, and you were more interested in saving the world. I just wanted you to care about me!”
He didn’t care at all who heard him now. “Why did I have to make all the sacrifices? My plans were made, and yours were on a whim.”
“A whim? I had dreamed about this for my whole life.”
“And you never mentioned it? I don’t know what’s worse, that you didn’t tell me goodbye, or that you didn’t tell me your dreams.” He had just made it worse. “Do you know how much it hurt to call your house and have your mother tell me that you’d gone? I didn’t eat for days, and I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t even call you!”
“Shit.” He shook his head. “I don’t need this. I’m not taking all of the blame. It took me a long time to get over you.”
“But you did.” And I hadn’t. The pain was just as great as it had ever been, and that was the problem. He just couldn’t see it.
I stopped fidgeting with the shoes, which were a pain in the ass and too strappy, and got up to smooth down my dress. After a quick check of my makeup, I unlocked the door, and Jake didn’t stop me.
I ran down the back stairs and took an exit in the kitchen where the caterers were busy, and then I called for a ride.
I looked back at the crowd and spotted Tess. I didn’t want her to see me waiting, so I walked all the way to the main gate. When it wouldn’t open, I went to the end and found a place to squeeze through. Unfortunately, on my way through, I got stuck.
“No. No. No.” I backed out and thankfully got free, so I used my climbing skills to go over the fence.
By the time I made it to the other side, landing on the ground and nearly twisting my ankle, the car pulled up.
I jumped inside, and even though I knew the driver was watching, I cried all the way back to my hotel. He was even nice enough to offer me a tissue, but that only made me feel like an idiot. I had to get control of myself.
I went up to my room, tossed my shoes and clutch in the chair, and stripped off the stupid red dress. “This is not you, Kate. Face it. You should have never listened to Tess.” I scolded myself as I always did, telling myself the things I figured my mother would say, only worse. “It’s over with Jake. He’s gone, and you just have to pick up the pieces and move on.” That last part, she’d told me word for word, but only after a long summer of watching me mope around the house like someone had died. To me, he might as well have.
I dragged ass to the bathroom where I showered and washed his scent off of my skin. Then I crawled into bed and closed my eyes as I buried my face into the pillow.
How long was I going to let myself live in the past? I was already letting myself get attached. How could I not be considering our history? I had to be the strong, brave woman I’d always wanted to be and do all I could to keep from letting my guard down around Jake.
Chapter Fifteen
Jake
After hours of flights, I was happy to have landed safely in the Amazon, but it only took five minutes of oppressive heat and swatting flies before I wondered just what in the hell I’d gotten myself into.
So, this is the price of fame?
Hours later, as the crew worked on the set, Tess and I gathered with Ben to talk about our first scene and when we’d be shooting it. The rest of the crew was all around us getting things set up, and it was chaos.
“How do we know which one of these little bloodsuckers will have malaria?” Tess asked, swatting a mosquito that had landed on her arm.
“I think they all have malaria,” Bob the sound man said as he was swatting so many he couldn’t put up his equipment. “I can’t work like this, Benny.”
I had never heard anyone but Bob refer to Ben as Benny, but Ben never complained. He spun around and addressed Bob. “Relax. We’re just going to have to get things situated and then we’ll be fine.”
Tess huffed. “We’ll all have malaria by the time you get this situated. I’m going to my cabin. Where is it?” She looked around, still swatting insects.
“Okay, so a little bad news. We didn’t have enough cabins, so they are still constructing your tents.”
“A tent? Oh hell no! I demand a cabin.” She stomped her foot and walked over to get in Ben’s face. “I suppose you have a cabin. Don’t you?” She cocked her brow and waited as Ben squirmed.