“No, but he’s the one who encouraged Greg to race, and he feels like maybe they didn’t pay enough attention to Greg’s bike before this race,” Gus told me.
“So, he thinks it’s my fault,” I said.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all,” Gus quickly covered. “He’s worried Greg overlooked issues with his bike because he’s not as experienced. He wouldn’t know to tell the team about them because he didn’t know they were a problem.”
“But this wasn’t his first race,” I pointed out.
“It wasn’t, but he’s still green. He’s still learning.”
“Well, this was a hard lesson to get through.”
“You got that right,” Gus agreed.
We ended the call, and my fingers tingled to pick the phone back up and text Darren. Just to check on him, make sure he was doing all right, and reassure him he wasn’t to blame for this. That was a completely valid thing for friends to do. But I chickened out before I even typed the first word. I was still shaky, still disturbed by the idea that it could have been him. That reaction left me with a lot to think about, and I needed to do that before I contacted him. As I continued to put together lunch, I developed a set of very mature plans that involved not thinking about anything I should have been thinking about until after I spent some time with Pam and possibly called Kira to beg her to move down here.
It was all very adult.
Pam arrived for lunch just as I took the second grown-up grilled cheese sandwich out of the pan. Smeared with fig jam and stuffed with caramelized onions that melted right into the gooey mozzarella cheese made them the perfect accompaniment to the salads. She was carrying a pitcher of sangria and did a little dance as she came into the kitchen. I laughed, deciding right then I was more than all right being a stand-in daughter for such a cool lady.
We carried the salads and sandwiches to the table and set them out. I brought over a regular grilled cheese for Willa and a plate of chopped vegetables.
“So, what happened at the race?” Pam asked.
“There was a wreck, and one of our riders was injured. It looked really bad. If I just saw the bike, I would have thought he was dead, or very close to it. Fortunately, he just broke his leg and got ground up a little. They might have to do surgery, but even if they don’t, his season is over.”
Pam’s hand covered her mouth, muffling a gasp, and I nodded. It was really terrifying to think about. I changed the subject as quickly as I could, wanting to talk about something else. After lunch, we spent a while on the couch drinking the sangria and talking about life. As Willa started nodding off, Pam left, and I brought my little girl into her room for a nap. Taking advantage of the quiet, I took out my computer and went to work on the most recent mechanic manual because in that moment, doing anything that would keep me from thinking about telling Darren about Willa.
19
Darren
“I thought he didn’t have any family,” I said, pinning the phone between my ear and shoulder as I made myself a cup of coffee.
I was on approximately cup thirty thousand since the night we went to the hospital with Greg, and I didn’t see the end of the trend anytime soon. The hospital staff wasn’t in love with the idea that I refused to leave, but there really wasn’t a whole lot they could do about it. They could tell me visiting hours were over, and I’d just move out into the waiting room and camp out on the chairs. It only took until the middle of the next day for them to realize my father and I were listed as emergency contacts in his records, so they cut back on their attempts to make me leave.
He was out of the woods, and the doctors were strongly leaning toward him not needing surgery, which was great news. But there was still no way I was leaving him alone in the hospital. Up until this conversation with my father, who was upstairs near his room while I was downstairs trying to fuel up, I thought Greg was essentially on his own.
“He doesn’t around here. He moved to Charlotte on his own. Apparently, his mother lives in Virginia, and they haven’t seen each other much since he moved here.”
“But she’s coming down to take care of him?” I asked.
“I don’t get the feeling there’s anything negative about their relationship, really. Just that he left home and went off on his own. According to him, they were really close as he grew up. Before we all got to the hospital, he asked the staff to call her and let her know what was going on. He knew we were all going to be coming up after the race, but he wanted to make sure she knew what was happening, too. She just let him know she’s on her way and is going to stay with him when he’s discharged to help him while he’s recovering,” Dad told me.