Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

His face softened the closer he got to me. “I still need to do my job,” he protested.

I nodded slowly, wondering how on earth to seduce him without flat out begging like last time we went away together. “Mmm hmm, your body guarding job,” I whispered.

He gulped noisily. “Yeah. So don’t make it hard for me.”

In one swift movement, I wrapped my legs around his waist, clamping myself to him. I could already feel his excitement pressing against me. Too late, he’s already hard! I giggled excitedly. I could barely wait any longer, but I just wanted to have a little fun with him first. Tightening my legs around him and trusting that he’d keep us both afloat, I moved my hands behind my back, quickly untying the knots of my bikini top. Once it was unfastened, I pulled it off, lifting it out of the water and showing him it before tossing it in the direction of the terrace, not even caring if it made it. He groaned and his eyes immediately dropped downwards as his eyebrows furrowed.

I smiled wickedly. “And what if I want to make it hard for you?” I flirted. While he was distracted, I shoved my hands down, getting to work on the knots at my hips, tugging quickly.

“Well, I guess life is supposed to be a little hard,” he muttered breathlessly.

A little hard, jeez, it feels like he’s smuggling an iron bar to me! I giggled at the thought and tugged the bikini bottoms free, again lifting them out of the water to make sure he saw them before tossing them to the terrace. A pained expression flitted across his features. I couldn’t stop the smug smile that stretched across my face.

“A little hard?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow suggestively as I looped my arms around his neck again.

His fingers bit into my back as his eyes came back to meet mine. “Maybe a lot hard,” he growled, crashing his lips to mine.

My whole body immediately felt alive as the passion woke inside me. I pulled back quickly though, breaking the kiss. There was something I wanted him to do before this happened. I quickly unwrapped myself from him and swam away a couple of feet, smiling teasingly. He was begging me with his eyes to go back to him and finish what I’d clearly instigated, but I knew he would never utter the words.

“Oh, don’t give me the puppy dog eyes,” I said, laughing as I almost gave in. I nodded towards the terrace before my will crumbled. “I want to see you dive. You need to loosen up too.”

He groaned and looked back at the terrace where I’d dived from. Wordlessly, he turned and swam to the steps, climbing and walking to the railing, his eyes not leaving me as he raised his foot.

I shook my head quickly. “Lose the shorts. You won’t need those,” I called, winking at him playfully.

As he pulled his shorts off, letting them drop the ground in a soggy pile, I bit my lip as he exposed all of his perfection. My insides fluttered as he climbed to the top of the railing, standing there in all of his naked glory. My heart raced as I watched how the sun reflected off his wet body and how his hair glistened in the sunshine, like it was covered in a thousand little diamonds.

When he smiled down at me, my whole body seemed to tingle as it suddenly dawned on me. I wasn’t just crazy about him; I was totally, utterly, and devastatingly in love with him. I didn’t think I’d actually loved anything or anyone more, maybe not even Jack. I loved Jack so much, I still did, and he would always have a piece of my heart, but impossibly, I’d fallen in love with Ashton so hard that it actually hurt. It was like he was my everything, my sun, my air, my whole life rolled up into one six foot package. Time seemed to stand still, and it felt as if my whole life had been building up to this moment here with him, as if the sole purpose for me being on this earth was to love this boy. Ashton completed me, and I’d only just realised.

He dove off the railing, disappearing into the ocean, and I came back to reality with a bump. My eyes widened as panic started to build inside me. How had I let this happen? What was I supposed to do with this knowledge now? Maybe I’d always been in love with him, but I was too afraid or stupid to admit it. I was in some serious trouble because he didn’t love me. Yes, he lusted after me and we were friends, but someone like him would never be content with someone as broken as me. He deserved far better and far more than I would ever be able to give him. I would never be good enough for Ashton Taylor.

A whimper escaped my lips as I looked back at the stairs. I contemplated running, just climbing out of the water and running as fast and as far as I could. The feelings inside me were crushing me, squeezing my heart and making my skin prickle with fear. Since Jack, I hadn’t allowed myself to care about anything for fear of being hurt again, but somehow, Ashton had broken down my barriers and had set up camp in my heart without me even being aware what he was doing. The boy had totally stolen my heart without my permission.

Before I could even get a grip on the thoughts that were circling around my head, hands gripped my thighs and he broke the surface of the water just in front of me. When he smiled and wiped the water from his eyes, my heart thumped in my chest and I no longer wanted to run. In fact, what I actually wanted was to be closer to him, so close that I melted into him.

Knowing I couldn’t let on how I felt, I decided to act casual and pretend that this whole devastating realisation hadn’t just happened, that my world hadn’t just shifted, that my heart didn’t belong to him and him alone. If he knew the crushing feelings I had for him, it would probably terrify him to the very core just like it did me. Ashton Taylor was not the commitment type of guy.