I looked around the room in search of a way to get someone’s attention. The water and glass were too far away, so was the table. The remote on the bed was almost out of reach, but I couldn’t tell if it was to lift the bed or call the nurse.
“What the hell?” It took a minute or two, but I managed to stretch forward and reach it. I pressed the button a few times.
A few minutes later, a thirty-something woman with a blonde bun and kind eyes walked in. “Bonnie, I’m so happy to see you awake. I’m Dr. Lennox.”
I flashed a smile. “How?”
“Did you get here?”
I nodded. “Calvin and Virgil Ashby found you in Red Rock Canyon.” Dr. Lennox looked down at the tablet in her hand, avoiding my gaze. “You came in dehydrated, severely sunburnt and your blood pressure was dangerously low, but everything is stable for now.”
She rolled her eyes when a knock sounded at the door.
“Bonnie, are you all right?”
I couldn’t see his face, but Calvin’s voice was frantic. I imagined he thought I was dead when he found me. How did he find me?
I had to ignore Calvin for now. I couldn’t deal with him and the feelings he stirred on top of everything else.
“Rape?” I asked.
She sighed. “We can do a rape kit, now that you’re able to consent, but other than the semen we found on your clothes, there’s nothing to suggest it.”
“Okay, then don’t.” The old Bonnie wouldn’t have had sex with anyone, but maybe someone had offered me something I couldn’t turn down, and I had debased myself. “I don’t want to know.”
Maybe Mother was right about me. Maybe Calvin was right to call me a junkie. What if I was out there screwing some dealer for more drugs? I shuddered at the thought. I didn’t want to know. I’d take that thought to the grave with me.
“You’re going to be fine, Bonnie. Two days of IV fluids have done wonders for you and the baby. As long as you start prenatal care right away and stay clean—”
“Wait, baby? I’m…pregnant?”
“You weren’t aware?” I shook my head, feeling more and more like a junkie whore. “Well there are options that we can discuss—”
“No!” It was Cal’s baby, and if for some reason I couldn’t, he would take care of him or her. Family meant a lot to the Ashby clan, and they would protect this child with their lives.
“I’m keeping my baby. Are you crazy?” Not that I could afford a baby. Hell, I couldn’t even afford to pay for this hospital stay, but the only option was to have the baby, I couldn’t think of giving it up. Or anything else.
“It looks like you’re about six to eight weeks along, so take your time to think about it.” Dr. Lennox kept on talking but I stopped listening, trying to sit up and find my clothes. “Ms. Byrne, take it easy. Please.”
“I need to get out of here. I can’t stay here. I can’t afford to stay here,” I told her as my face burned with humiliation. “I’ll pay what I owe, I swear I will, but I’ll be fine, won’t I?”
“In time, yes. But we need to keep you—”
I shook my head. “I appreciate that Dr. Lennox, but I can’t. I just…can’t.”
I sat up again, and a wave of dizziness washed over me that sent me flat on my back, eyes slammed shut. “I just need a minute, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
The doctor sighed and smiled. “You aren’t going anywhere for at least twenty-four hours, Ms. Byrne.” She moved closer and pressed a button that made some of the noises disappear, and a few moments later I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up next, Sadie sat in a cushioned chair beside the bed. “You’re awake. Good.”
“Sadie,” I managed though my voice was hard and scratchy.
“The doctor said to give you these ice chips. Suck on them first.”
Sadie held the cup up to me, but I couldn’t reach for the ice, and I turned away. How on earth would I take care of a baby when I couldn’t even pick up ice.
“Open up. Do it,” she commanded.
I did it, but only because I felt like I might die from thirst. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” Sadie’s keen green eyes stared at me, sized me up. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.”
“Right.” Her lips pinched into a straight white line.
“Look Bonnie, you’re a good girl, but this shit with the drugs has got to stop.” I nodded, she was right, it just wasn’t that easy. “You won’t believe this, but I’ve been where you are right now.”
I snorted my disbelief because it was well known that Sadie came from a wealthy family.
“You know my story, or at least you think you do. Yes, my father was affluent, and so was my mother’s family, but they disowned me for marrying Colm. This power that I have, who I am, is because of my husband’s family. Colm, rest his soul, wasn’t much, but his family is good stock. Good people.” Her tone turned wistful and I wondered if this was rose-colored glasses or the truth.