I realized after drink number four, they wanted to cut me open, to see me bleed in real time. I thought they wanted some exciting story of good cop versus bad cop, but the truth was, they wanted to know how awful it had been. How terrifying it was to think the authorities could take your life and freedom away based on nothing at all. They wanted to see my pain to remind themselves what happened when people stepped out of line, took the path less traveled.
“Another please. And a burger.”
The bartender looked relieved at the added burger and I smiled.
“Make it a double.”
Since I couldn’t shut out their questions and judgmental looks today, Maisie’s worried looks, Cal’s disdainful words, I decided to pop a pill to get rid of the pain. I’d wash it down with booze to blur…well, everything.
Chapter Four
Cal
Another priest had been murdered, this time in Mayhem. It was all over the local news. It wouldn’t be long before the national media got wind of it, especially with the FBI here sniffing around. Loudly.
It was early enough in the morning that some in this area might still consider it the middle of the night. I was up, though, having my morning coffee while I read all about the forty-seven-year-old priest who had come to Mayhem from Ohio. He’d gone there from Florida. I knew what it was, and I knew why it had happened.
What I wanted to know, was when it would fucking stop.
But I didn’t have a crystal ball, so I let out a slow sigh and all the anxiety wrapped up in that particular tale right along with it. I had to push it to the side to worry about something else I couldn’t control.
Bonnie. I wondered if she’d come back safely to the manor last night or the night before. Or the night before that. She’d been taking Jasper up on his half-hearted offer of hospitality for two weeks now, and I’d barely seen her. The few times I caught a glimpse of her, she’d looked worse for wear.
She’d lost some weight, and she wasn’t sleeping based on the deep purple circles under her eyes. She would never stick around long enough to answer any questions, and no one, not even Maisie knew what she did all damn day.
Besides drink and whatever else she’d gotten herself into, all in the name of obliterating a pain that would never leave. Her parent’s betrayal might not be the same as the way my father betrayed our family, but it all felt the same to the human heart. The human psyche. I understood the need to dull that pain, that ache that was a constant throb all day. One that you would give anything to stop. Only it took us all way too damn long to learn that nothing made it stop.
Being pain-free was the temporary state. The pain, once it wormed its way inside your heart, was part of you forever.
Still, Bonnie needed time to get over her shit. All of it: the death of her scumbag boyfriend, the callous rejection by her parents, and the accusation of murder. It was a lot of shit for anyone to take, made harder when she was alone and determined to keep it that way. Made me appreciate the nosy ass Ashby clan even more.
A security alarm sounded, loud and annoying just as I programmed it. As soon as my gaze landed on the location, I was on my feet. I grabbed a nearby tablet as I left my suite of rooms and headed down the long hall that led to a back staircase that would take me right to Jasper’s wing of the house. He’d completely rehabbed it so it was totally separate from the main house yet still connected. No way for Ma to drop in unannounced.
I knocked on the door. “Jas, you in!” while hacking into his intercom system just because I could.
A minute later, he yanked open the front door. “I fucking hate it,” he grumbled, “when you do that. Gives me a goddamn heart attack every fucking time.” He stepped back, locking the door and securing the alarm behind me. “What’s up?”
“This.” I held up the tablet for him to see. “Alert sounded at the safe house in Mt. Charleston. What’s going on?”
“Shit.” As usual, he ignored my question and went in search of his phone, completely unaware that I followed him into the kitchen where he found it, beside his breakfast.
He punched in a number on speed dial. “Lance,” he barked. “There’s a breach on the property. You need to move. Now.” Jas nodded, brows knotted in worry as he listened to the ex-Navy SEAL who worked security for the family.
“I don’t give a shit where you go, Lance. Get her someplace they can’t get to her, and let me know when you get there.”