We walked along the beach. This time I kept my hands to myself. We talked easily about everything and nothing. It was like we’d known each other for years.
“The other night,” said Gwen, “you guys left in a hurry.”
“Did we?”
“I thought we were just getting started.”
“I think maybe we’d had a bit too much to drink.”
“You mean, maybe I’d had too much to drink.” She bumped me with her shoulder. I bumped back.
“Like I said, we’re big into the consent thing.”
“I see,” she said. “And I was too drunk to consent?”
I shrugged. “It was a judgment call. We erred on the side of caution.”
“Hmm, interesting.” She looked at me and smiled mischievously. “Just don’t make that a habit.”
I smiled back. “I’m sorry we left early. No hard feelings?”
“No hard feelings. And stop apologizing.”
“I’m—” I was about to say ‘sorry’, but I caught myself and bit my tongue.
“Say, when’s your next night off?” she asked.
“Tuesday.”
She took my hand. “Any plans?”
“No plans.”
“I have some new recipes I want to try out. What would you say to an intimate evening, a home-cooked meal?”
“That sounds great, actually. Unfortunately Manny and Nolan are on duty.”
She stopped walking and turned to me. “I meant, an intimate evening just you and me.”
I let go of her hand and took a step back.
“What’s wrong?”
“Gwen, I couldn’t do that.”
She furrowed her brow. “Why not? I don’t get it.”
I took off my glasses and wiped them on my shirt, hoping that would buy me some time to put my thoughts in order. But I was confused. I thought we had an understanding, and her invitation caught me by surprise.
“Gwen, I can’t see you without the others. That would be like cheating.”
Her eyes got real wide. “What?”
“We’re a tight squad,” I started.
“I know you’re a tight squad.”
I detected irritation in her voice. I took her hands in mine. “I like you, Gwen, I really do. That’s an understatement, actually. But I thought we had an understanding.”
She shook her head.
“Gwen, you said you’re not into dating.”
“Maybe I changed my mind.”
I kissed her hand. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear that. But I can’t date you, not alone.”
“Tight squad?”
I nodded. “We share. We share everything.”
She let go of my hands and turned away from the water. “I think we should head back.”
We walked a moment in silence. “Did I say something wrong?” I asked.
“No. I appreciate the honesty. I appreciate you being direct.”
It was hard to tell from her tone of voice or her expression what she was thinking. I tensed up, thinking I might have blown my chance, our chance. I didn’t dare say a word. I just walked beside her waiting for her to speak, waiting for her to tell me everything was going to be OK.
Finally, as we were leaving the beach, Gwen turned to me and said, “So, when’s the next time the whole tight squad has the night off?”
9
Manny
There’s nothing better than a long run to calm the nerves and collect the thoughts. Since the night in Gwen’s apartment, I’d been going for a late-night run every night—and an early-morning run, and an afternoon run when my schedule permitted.
My nerves were far from calmed; and my thoughts were far from collected.
“It’s been ten days,” I said to the guys. I didn’t need to elaborate; they knew what I was referring to.
“Ten long days,” said Santiago.
“I haven’t even had the time to go down to the cafe,” said Taylor.
“I have,” I said.
“You’ve seen Gwen?” asked Axel.
I shook my head. “No. I mean I’ve had time. But I think if I went to the cafe where she works and I saw her but I wasn’t able to touch her, I think that would just make me crazy.”
“You’re not crazy now?” said Elijah.
I paced back and forth in the living room. “Believe me, I can go crazier.”
“We believe you,” said Axel.
Travis’s phone dinged. I spun around; all our heads spun to look at him.
Travis calmly pulled his phone out of his breast pocket—calmly and slowly; too slowly. He read the message. “Your mission, if you choose to accept it: damsel in distress, body aching to be held by strong arms; pussy yearning to be stroked with a firm hand.”
“Is that from Gwen?” said Tristan.
With his deadpan delivery and his head so often in the clouds, I couldn’t tell if he was joking or being oblivious. Taylor punched him in the arm, and Tristan laughed.
“I have Thursday night off,” said Travis. “And so do you,” he said to Tristan. “And you.” He pointed to Taylor.
“Me too,” I said.
J.P. shook his head. “I’m on duty.”
“So am I,” said Elijah.
“I’m free Thursday, Saturday and Sunday,” said Santiago.
We compared schedules but couldn’t come up with a night we were all free.
“Damn,” said Travis. “This is going to be hard.”
“Fuck it,” said J.P. He turned to Elijah. “We can get Jorge and Rodriguez to swap shifts with us, right?”