Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

If only I were doing this for more than family loyalty …

He regroups himself and puts a fake smile on his lips. “I wasn’t sure you would answer .”

I return his fake smile. “I wasn’t sure you would come .”

“You didn’t return my calls .”

“I deleted the voice mails .”

He sighs. “We have a lot to talk about .”

I nod, but I don’t say anything. I give him no indication of how I feel, of how I will answer when he asks—not that I even know myself .

He sighs again. “Let’s go, princess .”

We walk out of the hotel and casino without saying a word. I don’t say a word until we make it out onto the street where I see a horse and carriage waiting for us .

I gasp when I see it. I wasn’t expecting anything like it .

“I thought you deserved the full princess experience .”

I smile as he helps me into the carriage before climbing in next to me. I really do feel like a princess in this thing. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing though. I’m not sure I like being a princess. A princess, I’ve realized, has no control over her life. Her life is to her country, to her family. It’s just like how I live my life for the company, for my family .

I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting effort from a man who was just doing this because he had to. I was expecting dinner and a proposal. But I’m afraid he’s put more effort into it than that .

The carriage takes us down the main strip and then turns off, moving us throughout the city. I have no idea where we are going. I’m not sure I care. I’m lost in this perfect moment .

Killian places his arm around my shoulders, and I lean my head against his chest .

“I’m sorry,” he whispers .

“For what?” I breathe back .

“For lying to you. For breaking you and Eli up. For controlling any bit of your life. For ruining your date. For forcing you into a life you don’t want. For everything .”

“None of this is your fault.” I suck in a deep breath. “You don’t have to do this though. You already have the job. It’s not going to be taken away just because you don’t do this .”

I pause, waiting for him to confirm or deny my statement. He does neither. He just looks at me with the same intensity he always does .

So, I continue, “We don’t even know each other. I don’t know how many siblings you have. I don’t your parents’ names. I don’t know your favorite color or food or band. I don’t know where you grew up. I don’t know why you are such a workaholic. I don’t know why you never want to get married or have kids. I don’t know if we are compatible together. I don’t know anything about you, other than you are good in bed and intelligent enough to run the company .”

His expression grows grave, but he doesn’t say a word .

“I’m a huge Justin Bieber fan—like, huge. I’ve seen him in concert six times. My favorite movie is The Notebook . I’ve watched it at least a hundred times, and I still cry every single time. I have enough clothes and makeup to fill three regular-size rooms. I hate large houses. I’d prefer to live in hotel rooms the rest of my life .

“It is always going to take me longer than it should to make my mind up about what I want to order and even longer to make up my mind about anything else. And I’m only occasionally going to be okay with you making those decisions for me. Although you’ll never really know when I want you to decide for me or when I want to make my own decisions .

“I’m never going to be okay with just being a housewife. I’m always going to want to find a way to fight my way into a leadership position at the company. I’m always going to want the fairy tale. I’ll always want to be desperately in love and have kids .”

His hand reaches up to my lips, squeezing them together, silencing me. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, neve

r taking his eyes off mine. He slowly releases my lips .

“It does. Trust me, you don’t want to be stuck listening to Justin Bieber for the rest of your life when you prefer Justin Timberlake .”

He chuckles. “I don’t really like either .”

“What? You don’t like JT ?”