Dirty Beginning (Dirty 0.50)

“No,” he says, like I’m crazy for liking him .

I shake my head. “See? You can’t do this. Your life would be filled with Justins and little kids running around and indecisiveness.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “It’s not what you want.” But I’m not sure who I’m convincing with that statement .

As I stare into his eyes, I want to know everything about him. I want to listen to whatever shitty music he enjoys. I want to meet his parents and siblings. I want to argue with him about how long it takes me to order. I just don’t want to marry him .

The carriage stops in front of Crystal Waterfalls, my favorite casino. My eyes are wide as I stare at him. He climbs out before holding his hand out to me. I take it, and he helps me out .

He doesn’t let go of my hand as we walk into the building that, to my surprise, is empty. I don’t see a soul walking around. I blink rapidly, thinking that what I am seeing is a dream. It’s not. The casino is a ghost town .

I see a trail of rose petals on the floor. It starts next to the river that goes through the center of the hotel and casino. I let go of Killian’s hand as I make my way over to the edge of the river. I let my hand dip into the cold water, like I have done hundreds of times before. There are petals floating on top of the water .

I slowly follow the trail of rose petals. I hear Killian walking behind me, but he doesn’t try to walk next to me. He lets me discover everything by myself .

The rose petals follow the river. I follow them through the main casino floor, going past all the flashing lights of the slot machines, past the empty card tables, past the shops and restaurants. I follow them until they get to the door. It’s the door to my favorite place in the world .

I hesitate at the door, trying to calm my beating heart. This is it. I push the door open, and at the same time, I suck in a breath .

It’s beautiful, even more beautiful than usual. Lights are strung over every tree. And the smell from all of the roses and fresh flowers in the garden overwhelm me, as they always do whenever I step into the hotel’s garden. The waterfall rushes water over its crest just as calmly as it always does .

But what has taken my breath away are the rose petals and candles covering the floor. It looks like tiny shining stars on the floor of the garden .

I slowly turn back to the door. Killian is standing in the doorway, looking at me with a smile on his face. His head cocks slowly to the side as I smile back at him .

It’s a fairy tale in here. It’s just not real .

I feel my body tremble as he walks silently to me until he is standing just inches from my body. I hear music start up in the distance. I glance away from Killian and see a violinist playing. I turn back to Killian .

“I would have had her play Justin Bieber, if I had known .”

His words make me smile a little brighter, but my body is still trembling .

I watch his tongue run over his lip. I want his tongue on my lip .

“My favorite movie is The Hangover . It makes me laugh every fucking time. I have a surprisingly little amount of clothing. I love playing poker and blackjack, even when I’m getting beaten by a girl. My parents both live in Las Vegas. I’ve lived here my whole life. I have one younger sister close to your age, one older sister, a brother-in-law—whom you already met—and a three-year-old nephew whom I would do anything for. I’m a workaholic. I’m stubborn. I’m controlling. I hate waiting for decisions. I’ve never wanted to get married. I’ve never wanted kids. I don’t have a favorite artist, but I’ve been listening to the song ‘Let Her Go’ by Passenger on repeat lately .”

I swallow hard. He’s not going to propose. My head drops slightly in disappointment. This is good though. He needs to happy. At least one of us should be. I can give him that .

My eyes widen though when I watch him drop to one knee as he holds my hand .

“Princess, I know that we might not know everything there is to know about each other. I know that we, on paper, are all wrong for each other. I know you think the only reason I’m down on one knee right now is because of the loyalty I have for your father .

“You’re wrong. I’m down on one knee right now because you are the strongest woman I have ever met. You are determined, honest, beautiful, and, yes, a little naive. You are every bit as strong as your father was. I might not make the perfect husband. In fact, I know I won’t. But I want to spend the rest of my life falling in love with you .”

He pulls a box out of his pocket. He pops it open, revealing a gorgeous princess cut diamond. “Princess, will you marry me ?”

I bite my lip as I look into his intense eyes. I have no idea what to say .

Yes.

No.

I don’t know .

They all go through my head. And then they all zoom out again. None of them is the right answer. None of them will make either of us happy. None of them will bring an end to this story .

I finally open my mouth to say the only word that feels right leaving my lips, “Maybe .”

A slow smile tugs at his lips as he shakes his head at me. “That’s not going to work. I can’t take that as a yes. I need to hear you say it .”