How had things fallen apart so badly? Probably a stupid question. A part of her had known all along it would end this way, but she’d been in denial, wanting to think her twin would choose Kendall’s happiness over the bitterness and anger of Kade and Julian’s ugly past. Especially when both Lexie and Kade saw how much Julian had changed. But they wouldn’t even consider the possibility.
And then Julian had taken himself out of the relationship without even giving them a chance to face the world together. Come what may.
As she’d stood in that office and listened to Kade and Lexie basically undermine her judgment, her self-esteem, the very core of who she was today, she’d known. If push came to shove, if she had to choose, she’d pick Julian. She’d even warned her twin not to put her in that position.
Because Kendall deserved a happy, fulfilling life as much as her sister did. And when she’d almost lost Kade thanks to Kendall, what had Lexie done? She’d decided it was time to live her own life.
Kendall had wanted to do the same. And she’d intended to tell Julian just that. She’d even started to try—until he’d done the same thing her twin had. He’d taken her choices away from her.
Despite the fact that he, of all people, understood what it was like to fight to come back from rock bottom, to be a new and different person, capable of making good, strong decisions, he’d ended things.
Because he was afraid. She’d seen it in his eyes, his expression when he’d let her go. It had been easier to break things off now than to go through the fire together. Maybe he didn’t trust they were strong enough to come out the other side. Or maybe he just didn’t believe in himself.
She was so disappointed in him.
So hurt.
So destroyed.
Because he loved her… and she loved him, too, very much, and yet he hadn’t given her a chance to even say the words before he’d ripped everything she wanted in life away from her.
She wiped her tears on her bare arms and rose to her feet, heading to the bathroom for a tissue. Somehow, she made it through the rest of the day. It helped that she did a grocery run and returned with pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream to binge on in her despair.
Her cell rang, and a quick glance told her it was Lexie calling. Kendall had nothing to say to her sister, so she sent the call directly to message. She needed to calm down before she could have a rational conversation with her twin.
When the texts began coming in, too, Kendall shut off her cell. She knew Julian meant what he said and he wouldn’t be texting or calling to say he’d changed his mind. So she didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.
She cried herself to sleep, and by the next morning, a healthy anger at Lexie and Kade and Julian had taken over the pain and crying. She was furious at their audacity to make decisions for her. To run her life. To not believe in her enough.
But she still had a job to do, so she headed to work and spent the morning in the back rooms of the shelter cleaning out the stalls with a garden hose. There were a lot of unglamorous parts of the job, and she did them all. She didn’t object to the mindless chore. Someone had to clean and it gave her time to think.
Except today there was nothing she wanted to dwell on. Josie sensed her mood, asked her if she wanted to talk, and when Kendall declined, she left her to her own thoughts.
After she finished in the stalls, she returned to the front office to complete more of the paperwork from the dog transfers this past weekend.
When her cell rang, her instinct was to automatically send it to voice mail, but instead she glanced down, surprised to see Alex’s name on the screen.
“Hello?” Kendall asked, resting an elbow on the desk as she spoke.
“Hi, Kendall?”
“Hi, Alex. How are you?” she asked.
“Umm, good. Listen, you said I could come to you for anything, right?” Her voice sounded uncertain.
“Of course. What’s up?”
Alex cleared her throat. “A guy asked me out, I said yes, and now I have nothing to wear on the date,” she said in a rush, as if she was embarrassed and had to spit out all the information at once, before she lost her nerve. “I never really had someone to help me with girl stuff. Would you come shopping with me?”
Relieved it was something so easy, Kendall answered immediately. “Of course I’ll go with you.” Considering it could have been a call about Alex’s brother, Kendall considered this request a win.
She’d be happy to help Alex find something for a date. Not only would it boost the young girl’s self-esteem to have something new and pretty, the shopping trip would be a great distraction for Kendall. One she needed badly.
“Thank you,” Alex said on a huge, relieved exhale. “I mean, I couldn’t ask Julian to go with me, that would be so weird, and I had no idea what to buy if I went alone.”
Kendall laughed, ignoring the pang in her chest at just the mention of Julian’s name. She wondered if Alex knew they’d broken up. Regardless, she was glad the young girl felt comfortable enough to turn to her when she needed something.
“When can you go?” Kendall asked.