"Not that long." He doesn’t move, and I know that if I don’t say anything, he isn’t going to drop it.
"It’s just," I start to say. My lip tremors, and he stands up now and comes closer to me. He stands right in front of me as I try not to cry. "It’s just that for our whole life, it’s just been her and me." I wipe the tear as fast as I can. “No matter what, it was always just us." He starts to say something, and I hold up my hand to stop him. “Every single day, it was us two at the table, except when Pops came to visit. So seeing you at the table with her and her thanking God for you." I close my eyes, taking slow, soft breaths. “It was just so real. I’ve thought about this moment for the last six years. I’ve thought about how you would be with her. And it’s just so much better than I thought it was going to be." I fidget with my hands. “I’ve always wanted her to have what she had yesterday and today." His hand comes up now as his thumb stops a tear from rolling down my cheek. “You have no idea how it felt seeing her running, knowing that she was with family. Knowing that she had all these people there for her and that they didn’t know."
"There are going to be more days,” he says, his hand not moving from my face. "I don’t want to take your place. I just want to have a place where I get to love her also."
"I’ll never ever keep her from you,” I say, and his thumb rubs my cheek. “Not now, not ever."
"There are things we need to talk about,” he says, and I feel my stomach rise and fall. “There are things that need to be said, but I don’t want to do it now when she is up or can hear."
"You’re right,” I say. “There are things that need to be said."
"Let’s finish eating, and then I’m going to take off. I’ll come back tonight, and we can talk." I nod my head, not sure I can answer him. "But just so you know, Hazel, I’m not going anywhere."
He doesn’t say anything more. His hand drops from my face, and he walks back down the stairs. My hand comes up to my face where I can still feel his touch, his words echoing in my head. “I’m not going anywhere."
Chapter 19
Reed
I walk down the stairs, my hand still tingling from touching her face. My thumb is still wet from her tears. I saw her get up from the table, saw the tears, and my heart broke. Thinking that my being here was hurting her, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. I looked over at Sofia to see if she noticed, but all she did was eat her spaghetti.
I walk back down, sitting down in the chair right next to Sofia, and she just looks up at me with sauce all over her cheeks. “Is it good?" I ask, and she nods her head. I want to lean over and kiss her, but I don’t know if it’s too fast. I want to hold her in my arms all the time. Carry her to make up for all the years I didn’t.
I hear the stairs creak and look up to see Hazel come back and sit down. Her beauty stops everything in me. All the thoughts are gone, and the only thing I can think of is making this right here something that I do every night. She looks over at me, and she gives me a side smile and takes her first bite of pasta.
I take my time eating, knowing that as soon as I finish eating, I’m going to have to leave and my stomach sinks thinking about it. "So what grade are you in, Sofia?"
"Kindergarten," she answers, filling her spoon with pasta.
"Do you like school?" I take my own bite.
"Yeah, but sometimes it’s boring,” she says, moving her head. “And the math is too easy."
I laugh at her expression. “Do you like math?" I ask.
"She’s doing math at a third-grade level," Hazel says. “She has always loved it. We started practicing her addition when she was three," she lets me know, and I smile at her.
"Definitely takes after her mom for that,” I say, smirking and grabbing another bite. Hazel always did better in school than I did. If I got a sixty, I was happy with it.
"She goes to private school also," she tells me, and I just nod. "She’s getting a good education."
"I don’t doubt it,” I say, sensing that she’s nervous when it comes to talking about Sofia.
"I drop her off and pick her up as soon as she’s done her extra-curricular activities." She pushes the pasta around her plate.