My eyes narrowed. His tone suggested he thought Nick wasn’t being completely honest. “His accounting of what happened is consistent, yes.” I left out the part where Nick was second guessing himself.
“Let’s hope this passes. We’re getting some unhappy calls. We’ll need to draft a statement. Maybe you could do that, so we’re sure we don’t accidently admit to something.”
“I’ll work on that next.”
“Good work, Parker.”
I had to remind myself that all this wasn’t unusual. I’d been through it before with hospitals and clinics. What was strange was to know the players so intimately.
13
Nick
This wasn’t the first funeral I’d attended. It wasn’t even the first of someone I knew. But it was the first where I felt the need to hide. I showed up to pay my respects, not because Dick said it would make me look less guilty. Guilty. That was the word he used. Like I’d let her die on purpose. Based on the continued messages and the looks I got as I entered the church, guilty was what people thought I was. I knew the word out in the community was that I’d abandoned her to help another patient. Guilty as charged. The rumor was that I’d missed the diagnosis. That wasn’t so clear cut. I hadn’t missed it; I just hadn’t had all the information I needed yet to make it. I’d been on the right track when I ordered a blood test and chest x-ray.
Mia was at the funeral and gave me a sympathetic smile, but she was with Eli and so I understood why she didn’t talk to me. Besides, she wasn’t my keeper. Yes, we’d fucked on my couch, but we weren’t together.
The day after the funeral, I was taking one of my increasingly frequent breaks after sending a man up for a heart procedure. I didn’t miss that one, I told myself. Fuck, I was losing it. Every patient, whether it was a splinter or an internal complaint, I was nearly in a cold sweat as I went through the differential diagnosis. When I was off duty, it wasn’t much better. At least once a night I woke up in a cold sweat from a dream in which all the patients I hadn’t saved haunted me. Blamed me.
“Dr. Foster?”
I turned back from where I was looking out the window in the staff lounge. Dick came in, his expression grim.
“I’ve got some bad news. The Mason family has served us papers.”
I closed my eyes. “Me?”
“You, the attending nurse, and the hospital, claiming that had we provided the service we should have, she’d have been diagnosed and saved.”
The problem was, I couldn’t be sure they weren’t right. The pathology report suggested it might not have made a difference if we’d diagnosed the
embolism right away. And the reality was, the tests had never been done, and I still couldn’t figure out why.
“So, what now?”
“Now we let Ms. Parker do her job.”
I nodded, but I knew Mia’s responsibility was to the hospital, not me. Granted, I was employed by the hospital, so I was an extension of it, but I had no doubt if I was in error, I’d be tossed out, and left to fend for myself.
That evening I went home, changed into running clothes, and took a long run through the mountains. In the past, spending time in nature exerting myself did wonders for my mood. Today, I couldn’t shake the dread. I didn’t mind being sued as much as I worried that I’d fucked up somehow. Until Ms. Mason died, I was a confident man in my medical skills. I was decisive and confident. Now I was a bundle of nerves, constantly second guessing myself.
When I got home from my run, I showered, and poured a stiff drink. The sleeping pills never seemed to work, but maybe getting drunk would. I was sitting on my couch, eyes closed as I sipped my drink after downing the first two fingers, when a knock came on my door.
Normally I’d say, “It’s open,” but for all I knew it was a mob ready to drag me to the square for my execution. I stood, and went to open the door.
“Mia.”
She gave me a smile. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to check on you. Peggy is worried about you.”
“Peggy?” She was in the lawsuit as well. That was on me too.
“I am too. We can all see that this lawsuit is—”
“It’s not the lawsuit,” I snapped.